100 gay dating

Clocked after 2 years complete stealth? Suicidal right now and don't know what to do

2020.11.25 08:36 liszasthrowaway Clocked after 2 years complete stealth? Suicidal right now and don't know what to do

So since my FFS and SRS I've been stealth for about 2 years, moving to a big city and starting over. I have never, ever even got the remote suspicion that someone suspected I was trans - e.g. I've hooked up with people and they've been shocked to find out when I've told them etc., I won't give a massive list but I'm 100% certain this is the case due to how people treat me, talk with me and especially compared to how the same people may treat or talk to people they perceive as LGBT. My face and my voice pass 100% flawlessly, and really apart from my height (5'11") and maybe slightly wider shoulders there are no tells on my body.
I went on a date on Sunday and it went really well, we talked for hours and it ended with him kissing me. The next morning he said he'd like to meet again but then asked why I didn't tell him I was trans - I was shocked at this point and played dumb, to which he replied that I had confused him by mentioning that I liked the big city because it was so inclusive and diverse, then I had mentioned how gay people and especially trans people were not accepted growing up in the area I grew up in. I also mentioned how narrow minded a lot of people tended to be.
After I was satisfied he accepted my denial of being trans, I decided to tell him I actually was, since I was planning on doing this the next time we met before things got physical anyway. I asked for more details of why he thought I was trans and he insisted it was because I mentioned the above, he also said he has been with many trans people before, then also said that a lot of little things like height and the fact I studied math at uni (???) made him wonder but he didn't really think much till I mentioned the above things. He insisted that he is not representative of people in general (chaser?) and that he doesn't think anyone would know, kept telling me how good I look, etc.
This has absolutely destroyed me and I don't know how to proceed from here. My entire life since transition has been based on the fact that nobody knows I am trans unless I specifically tell them, and that I am perceived and treated in the same was as any cis woman. I think there are two scenarios here:

1 - Cis people do not talk about inclusion and diversity (especially for trans people specifically) on a first date, and this combined with his experience with trans people made him wonder.
2 - He wondered anyway but the things I mentioned made him more sure.

I think I could potentially live with 1 since it was something I did, that I can stop doing, that made him think about it. If it was 2 I'm not sure I can keep on living - if he thought this then maybe other people have? Is my entire new life a complete lie? I genuinely, 100% believed I was completely stealth and I'm still so confused about this. I tried googling my name to see if anything came up there, because given the way I've been treated and lived life these past couple of years I find it impossible to believe someone just clocked me like that. If anyone has any advice I'd greatly appreciate it, thank you.
submitted by liszasthrowaway to asktransgender [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 06:16 Tense_Turkeybutt My monogamous relationship is turning into a polyamorous relationship and I don’t think I’m ready.

Hi everyone, I am a 20 year old straight male from the U.S, which is a country obviously rooted in the ideas of monogamy. I am currently in a situation that has been eating at me for a little while but has really gotten tough for me in the last few weeks.
I have been dating a girl for almost 4 years now (February 2017) since we were both in high school. She is the same age as me and we knew each other a little bit before dating. I love her to death and it’s so hard to see a future without her. I never knew she identified as polyamorous before dating and didn’t really know she had any ideas of polyamory until late within the first year of us dating. However it was never talked about seriously until about a year ago.
Throughout our relationship she has always had a sense of being monogamous around me. She acted as if it would be just the two of us dealing with the world and it seemed like she was fully emerged into the American idea of that “special ONE.” She never really gave hints into the fact that she might not have actually felt this way or that it would change.
You see, she identifies as pansexual and I knew she was attracted to other people. Like everyone is like that whether they are straight, gay, bisexual, etc. But still, she never said anything that made it seem like she TRULY wanted to be non-monogamous except for a joke here or there. I always saw myself as monogamous and saw her as my only love until one day where we either die together or find someone new.
Throughout the first few years of our relationship I said I was okay with her kissing a girl at the club or for a dare when we would do a drinking game. But I saw it as her wanting to be flirty but not having a true attraction to these girls.
Fast forward to the end of 2019. She started to talk about missing doing sexual things with girls. I knew she used to be a player with girls in middle and high school so I wasn’t shocked that she missed it. I was quite weary about her doing stuff with anyone else because I thought we were monogamous. I was insecure, jealous, and scared that she might fall out of love with me. We had a few talks about it, some ending in understanding and love while others ending with her calling me a closed minded person that doesn’t consider her feelings. It was all very hard for me, and I’m sure it was hard for her too.
I can’t remember if she asked me to look at girls on Tinder or if she just started doing it and I said it was okay. Either way she found herself on a dating app looking at girls. And after a few weeks she had started talking to a girl that she seemed to want to hangout with. I said I was okay with them hanging out and she even called me once and asked if I was okay with them kissing. I told her I was alright with it. I really appreciated her always asking before doing stuff like that. I eventually said that if she was comfortable doing sexual stuff with this girl then I was also comfortable with it. So they had sex the second time they hung out.
I won’t lie in saying it shocked that they got to it so quick. At first I was kind of upset and jealous and insecure and scared. But I realized that I had to try to be a more open person for her. For months she would continue this process with a few different girls (even during our statewide shutdown). Hangout once or twice and they have sex and then she usually moved on. Every time she had sex with these girls I felt weird, and uncomfortable. I always told myself that this was how me trying to cope with a new normal. That what I was feeling was me trying to be more understanding for my girlfriend.
A few months ago she started asking me if it was okay to open up her Tinder to boys as well. This was sort of like a punch to the stomach because I was still trying to adjust to the whole girl thing. When I told her my reservations she responded by telling me I have sexist views about this stuff. She would say that I see women as less of a threat than men and that there shouldn’t be any difference in how I feel. She got really upset with me, but I tried telling her that the way she described me was wrong. I was anxious because girls offered a different experience that I couldn’t. I felt like she was filling a void with girls, but that guys could replace the void I was filling. I was insecure that she would just go and find someone to come take my place, someone that could offer her a better experience that I was trying to give her.
It took a month or so, but I told her she could open up her Tinder but that I would be most comfortable doing stuff in a group situation. There was this couple that we knew that would’ve been willing to join us for sex and that would’ve been a good way for me to gauge how I felt in an environment like that. It would’ve felt more like a journey that we were taking together. This would never happen and we would only end up kissing each other’s partners.
Well she had Tinder set to both boys and girls starting in August. At the same time I decided that if she was using dating apps that maybe I should try to find a girl that both my girlfriend and I would like. This could be another way of us beginning with a group situation. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that she went on a date with another boy for the first time. Around the same time I had just moved back into my mom’s house after not living there for a few years and my family dog of 10 years died. So many changes were going on at once and my emotional state was pretty rough. My girlfriend knew this and tried to support me the best she could. But she was also set on this being the time where she establishes herself as truly polyamorous.
She had a bunch of people that she was talking to all at once. This caused her to be out hanging out with a bunch of new people each day. She tried laying out her boundaries for things and I kind of just agreed but I felt so out of life due to my dog just dying that I guess I wasn’t in the right mind to figure that shit out yet. Two weekends ago was her third date with this boy and they had sex. The first time she’s had sex with another boy in our relationship.
I didn’t take it too well even though I thought I would. She was safe and she practiced safe sex, but I can’t help but feel torn. There are so many changes going on right now and I was not prepared for such a big relationship change. My dog’s dead, I am living somewhere I haven’t been for a while, I am going from seeing my girlfriend for most of each day to maybe 1-2 hours a day, and now she is becoming 100% polyamorous. I feel like a shell of myself, and reality doesn’t feel real anymore. I don’t know what to do in this relationship to make myself comfortable. I need help from anyone that might have gone through this. I feel like I’m slipping and I don’t want to change who she is but I don’t want to leave her because she is my person and she has said that I am her person. I feel like I am monogamous wanting a monogamous partner, but maybe I’m just trying to adjust. Please help.
submitted by Tense_Turkeybutt to polyamory [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 05:56 throwawayaccount986e Feeling like a predator (monster)

I'm so sorry for posting here. I hope this is OK as I'm struggling so much with this topic tonight.
I'm 25. I think I am lesbian or at least homoromantic (I'm so sorry if this isn't the right term, please tell me if so). I'm struggling with my sexuality a lot between wondering whether I'm gay, bi or ace. I'm not sure... Unfortunately, I suffer from a very particular type of ocd and questions like these will never be answered.
I've never dated men but I did experienced "what I think" romantic crushes on them. I've only had a girlfriend so far (very recent and unfortunately only lasted a year) - it was always long distance so I never kissed anyone, let alone have sex. My experience in dating is zero and was... Traumatic.
I feel such a monster for desiring to have sex with a woman. I never did anything inappropriate to anyone nor I stalked nor I engaged in anything with anyone without permission. Even the only sexual fantasies I had with a real woman was my ex. Before and after the relationship it had always been fictional people or characters from videogames that I liked.
All of this makes me not want to ever have sex with anyone. I feel like a predator. I'd feel like one even if everything was 100 percent consentual. I imagine that just seeing the other person naked would make me feel like a monster or a pervert, let alone touching.
I physically can't/couldn't to anything with someone because I'd feel like crying and I'd panic. But if I desired a man, these feelings of guilt would probably not exist
I don't know what to do... I wished I did not have any sort of sexual desire. I'd be so much more happy.
I'm so sorry for this post... I can't fall asleep.
Edit; it was only 4 years ago that I started considering actually being gay... Until then, I wasn't sure... And when I accepted, it was a relief and I was happy imagining myself with a fictional woman... But the bliss only lasted a bit.
submitted by throwawayaccount986e to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 03:09 moonknuckles Gay journaling, part III: the ACTUAL last part because this story ends with me confessing my feelings to him...

SO, UH, HI, IT'S ME AGAIN. You may, once more, recall me from sharing, a couple of months ago, a bunch of journal entries (here and here) about my current love/sex life...
(Feel free to skip all this and just go straight to the fun story time part, lol.)
I initially wanted to talk about this and tried to write it out in a way that wasn't just me copying straight from my journal again, but hey... all the things I want to celebrate and express and continue processing are all right there, so why not, right?
I'm awfully aware that this content seems to be straying far from the topic of being a trans gay man in particular, but I feel that deep and meaningful and intimate romantic and sexual connections are just something worth celebrating and sharing in general as a trans person, and that's... a big part of what I feel, here. Like, I came from a place early in my transition where I genuinely believed that it was reasonable to expect that nobody would ever truly love or want me, or care about my body or my pleasure... like it was just a given that, as a trans person, I would only ever get scraps of any real caring or love or attraction, and that I would be lucky to get even that.
I've come a long way since actually believing that, but I still have a ways to go in healing from everything which led me to think that in the first place. And a lot of things about this romantic tangle I find myself in now are teaching me more and more about my worth and what I deserve in relationships with others... that these kinds of relationships don't have to be painful or frightening or make me feel like I'm some kind of terrible burden to this person I care about.
And, well... I did a big thing, recently, where I laid all my cards out on the table and I openly, honestly explained the reality of my feelings for my... what I've been calling "casually romantic friend-with-benefits". Truth is, our relationship doesn't have a label. We aren't "together" or "dating", but... well, you might have some idea of our connection if you happened to read some of the context in my first couple of posts about this... and now here's a whole lot more context, lmao.
This feels like the culmination of all the fretting and thinking I've been doing all this time that I've known him, which is why I wanna post it here now as an actual final sharing of this romantic and sexual endeavor that's taken up far too much space in my verbose-and-overthinking brain these last 7 months....
AND SO, without further ado, here are the final 5 journal entries I've written since the most recent one I shared, and the sort of ending to the story they tell:
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October 1, 2020 -- 6:44 PM
Mixed feelings, mixed feelings.
He told me he's been with a couple of other people since we've known each other.
I was a little too enveloped in the news, I didn't ask questions and I don't know details.
But it was enwrapped within a conversation that, overall, was... very nice.
He said that, were he in a different mindset at this point in his life, he could see himself wanting to pursue more with me.
It's... hard. Thinking about him with other people. And not knowing why, or how, or with whom... or how recently. Or how good (or bad?) it was.
But I can seek comfort in the knowledge that... that what we have is different.
He revels in how much he enjoys spending time with me, he keeps repeating, "I can't believe we met on Tinder," as though he never seriously considered he could find a genuine connection like this there.
He admits he probably has a fear of commitment. By the sound of it, he's still a little spooked by his first (and last) relationship.
And, honestly... I'm spooked, too. The thought of developing anything serious right now is scary. I mean, it's been scary, but the more I shed depressed and anxious thoughts, the less compelled I feel to force myself to find something serious as soon as possible. I don't feel quite so... desperately lonely.
And I feel secure with T. Well... as secure as I can feel while he's sleeping with other people. Haha.
But it feels like... he's a bird I shouldn't cage. He goes off and lives his life and explores and seeks excitement, but then he always comes back to me in between. I've gotta let him go, with the comfort that he will keep coming back.
He agrees that "indefinite" sounds pretty good.
After all this talk (and a little more sex), we spent I don't know how long with me on top straddling him and our brows pressed together, just... what felt like basking in one another. We held each other so close and dotingly kissed everywhere. Adoring and cherishing each other. Nuzzling and sharing breath.
He doesn't do that with anyone else.
While we were hugging goodbye, I drew away and held his face on either side, and I told him, "I really care about you."
The way he kinda got a little sheepish and said in return, "I really care about you, too; I'd be lying if I said I didn't," I think he knew what I sorta meant.
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October 12, 2020 -- 3:35 PM
Normally I'm buzzing with anxious, lovesick energy the day after spending an evening with him. But today I find myself in a calm stillness.
I can't believe how easy everything is with him.
I read him a whole letter I wrote to him about my feelings around him having sex with other people, and it went as well as I could have hoped for. We had a wonderful talk and he sincerely thanked me, multiple times, for reaching out to communicate with him this way.
I was so scared that my voice shook as I read aloud to him, but he reassuringly stroked my leg the entire time he attentively listened.
Most of it's what I figured, anyway. He likes sex, he likes connecting to people through sex, but the connections he's making with others aren't anywhere near as strong as ours.
But he surprised me by also calmly, openly admitting that part of this is his brain fearing and wanting to avoid the feeling of being committed to just one person. The way he seems so self-aware and mature regarding that fear of commitment, I really appreciate the space he's in and his honesty about it.
I feel like I'm gathering a better and better understanding of the way he feels about me. For the first time in maybe all the time we've known each other, I actually feel secure in the knowledge that I do mean something different to him... something that maybe scares him a little, but something that he faces head-on and takes seriously anyway.
I caught him smiling dizzily at me while I hadn't been paying attention, but he quickly glanced away as I turned to face him, seemingly embarrassed.
I wonder what he had been thinking.
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Author's Note: For what I think is further important context, reaching out to express my thoughts and feelings to him like this has been a very big and meaningful thing to me because previous romantic relationships I've been involved in have been very difficult to communicate in. In some of them, my attempts to communicate vulnerable thoughts and feelings would almost exclusively lead to really upsetting and out-of-control fights. This, on top of preexisting early life trauma, has left me utterly terrified of engaging in serious/productive communication within close relationships, to the point that I'm apparently an uncontrollably-shaking, borderline-panicking mess while trying to approach such communication. The relationship I'm now describing here in these journal entries is pretty much the very first one I've experienced where the other person has done nothing but make communication about "scary" things feel 100% safe and worth doing, and I'm finally getting to learn and prove to myself that that's even a possibility in close relationships.
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October 14, 2020 -- 9:58 PM
(Perhaps when I look back later, I'll dub this section of the journal "The Romantic Era".)
(It's like the relative infrequency with which we see each other only perpetuates the wild desire as though it's still fresh and new. I wonder if I'll ever move on from this state of juvenile infatuation.)
He smiles something fierce and laughs that half snicker, half giggle of his while I cackle and cry out and try not to squirm too much as he ardently kisses my inner thighs.
When he drove me back to my car after I stayed the night with him, he threw music on the radio and real deliberately reached over to find and take my hand. He softly sang along and drummed his fingers to the beat against my knuckles.
Authoritatively, but tenderly, against the back of my neck, "I think you should stay."
...I've been avoiding the word "love". While thinking real hard about what it actually means.
And all I can come up with is that it's subjective. And that maybe that means I get to decide where the line is drawn for myself.
What the fuck is love but caring about someone a whole fucking lot?
But at the same time... love isn't just one thing. It's a lot like sex, really. It's dependent on the relationship, different with each person.
I don't love T the same way I loved G.
The love I feel for T is cooler in temperature, shallow, but... not in an unsentimental way, more in a way like a cove of tropical ocean water, where you can see clearly through to the bottom. Open, bright, vivid... carefree.
It feels easy, unhurried, unbothered.
I love T as a friend and as a lover, and nothing more. And that feels good and comfortable and fine just the way it is.
It doesn't have to be all.
--------------------------------------------------
November 10, 9:58 PM
I keep fantasizing about him telling me he loves me back.
It all feels very similar to that first conversation. Except maybe that this time I feel much less afraid of the "worst case scenario"... which I don't think is even a possibility at this point.
It's more just that I'm hoping and dreaming (quite literally) that he returns the sentiment... The "best case scenario".
Not that I hope he feels as strongly as I do. I still don't think he does. But I hope... that he states his feelings in a similar way. That he agrees that the way I explain it sounds relatable to how he feels, too.
I almost feel as though that is how he feels, and maybe me being completely transparent will encourage him to be honest, too.
But I don't wanna make assumptions or have expectations.
If he doesn't respond the way I hope, that'll be okay. Obviously I'm not doing this specifically in the hopes of reciprocation. I just want him to know.
I'm thinking, if this turns out at all like that first conversation, his answer might just be somewhere in the middle.
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November 14, 2020 -- 10:29 PM
...A small part of me thought that it only seemed logical. That is seemed... apparent. All the little looks, the way sharing touch feels so close and intimate, that it's always felt outright impossible for it to be any other way.
The much larger part of me really, truly thought I was only being wishful.
But... the hopeful part of me wasn't only hopeful. It was fucking right.
What I thought was just hope turned out to also be intuition.
Everything I said, that "best case scenario", it... happened.
The moment I finished reading this second letter to him, the very first thing he did was exclaim in excitement and throw his arms open and invite me to collapse into his chest to be wrapped in a big, tight hug. Muffled into the top of my head, he hummed warmly, "Thank you for saying all that."
Then when we pulled apart and he sat back again, he said that now he would have to be vulnerable and honest about his feelings, too.
And he said... what I'd hoped he'd say. That the way I explained my reasoning was pretty much how he felt, too... I mean... how he feels.
He said that I was just the one brave enough to be honest about it first.
With an apparent emphasis on "brave"...
He's scared. That part I've been right about, too.
We actually exchanged "I love you's" when he left last night, but bless his heart, it spooked him. He texted me about it after he got home and we talked more, clarified that saying that wasn't a big thing that those words are normally associated with, and I still mean it in the "proportional to our relationship" way. And, seeming to predict specifically what I'd be anxious over in that conversation (he actually knows me quite well by this point...), he was careful to mention that it wasn't I who had scared him, but rather that he had, as he described, startled himself. We needed only check in again, and all was well.
I'm glad we talked more and came to a better understanding of what really happened there. It really put both of us at an even greater ease, I think.
In the meantime, he appears much more comfortable with the phrasing "I have love for you", haha.
Where words are difficult for him, though, physical touch seems to be a much easier manner of conveying these feelings.
I had leapt right into the conversation as soon as he'd gotten here last night, so we'd had the rest of the 4 hours we spent together to let that talk, and those emotions, really sink in.
And I swear it felt as though he were holding back less... Though it's not like I even felt he had ever been holding back at all.
But he... somehow more frequently, without any hesitation, again and again... kissed me so tenderly, absolutely everywhere, nuzzled so sweetly, held me closer, linked fingers and squeezed my hand tighter than ever before. It was like he suddenly couldn't get enough of me -- more so than usual.
We were quietly, contentedly spooning at one point, and his face was nestled close into the space just behind my ear. His breath spilled over my bare skin and sent almost unbearably ticklish shivers up and down my body, but I didn't mind. I loved that he could light up my nervous system like that, just with the simplest of intimate touches.
And all I could think while reveling in his adoration was, "This is real."
The way this feels, the way this has always felt... that's actually something there that I'm feeling. That we're feeling.
I'm not just imagining it all.
Oh, T, T, T.
I love this era of my life that has you in it.
submitted by moonknuckles to gaytransguys [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 02:58 MackMystic I feel like I’m not brave enough to take the first step

Hi fellow sapphics ! I’m gonna start off by saying this is my first post ever (private account) and I’m on mobile so sorry if formatting is shit. Also this will be long - sorry for any rambles. Tl;dr : I think I’m gay but the self doubt is a sneaky bastard and the fact that i have to break my boyfriend’s heart makes me feel like scum.
I’m 19 and have been with my boyfriend for just over two years. I’ve identified as bi (he does as well) since I was 14 and got into my first relationship with a girl (at the time, he has since transitioned into a man, which means I don’t believe I’ve ever been with a woman if his true soul was male). That relationship was emotionally and sexually abusive which will come into play later. My current boyfriend was my best friend for three years before we started dating and he was there when I was in that horrible relationship. He was the one who pushed me to break up with them, actually. He still is my best friend and he is absolutely my soulmate. I just don’t know if it’s romantically anymore, or if it ever will be again. I’m almost positive I’m a lesbian. I’m positive I never want to date another man after this one and I’ve said that for years, even though my boyfriend and I had been planning our marriage since sixteen. We have promise rings. We expected this entire future together, and now I think I have to crush all of his dreams because I don’t like men. It started last year when things were getting a bit rocky, and he told me he wanted to try polyamory. I tried my very best, but it just wasn’t for me. So he broke up with me to explore that for himself. We only stayed apart for three months and pretty much knew the whole time we’d get back together. For this reason I know he’ll understand that I have to do what’s best for me, it’s just so hard hurting him. I don’t have the piece of mind to give him that I’m still in love with him and this is only temporary, because I don’t think it is. We got back together in November last year, and it’s been so rough ever since. My sex drive is zero. Zip. Nada. I’ve tried medication changes, enhancements, therapy, lube, etc and none of them work. Whenever he initiates sex (I never do) I feel like I’m getting strapped in on a rollercoaster and I definitely can’t go back now. I’ve just broken down crying so many times because I feel so uncomfortable kissing him and touching him sexually that I don’t know what else to do to end the exchange. He’s the most supportive person in the world and never blames me for it. It makes him feel lonely a lot of the time but he doesn’t really bring it up anymore. I’ve gone through every identity on the asexual spectrum to try and explain my lack of attraction to him. I blamed my ex for abusing me. I thought it made me scared of sex (which it did at first, but I’ve worked through it). It’s just becoming simpler ( and gayer ) by the day. In the beginning of the relationship, I was all over him. It was new and exciting but that’s since worn off and I’ve realized that I don’t know if I can be attracted to a man ever again. I doubt myself though, because I’ve suppressed my feeling of need to be with a woman for two years already, so what if it’s just new and exciting because I brought up the idea of it ?? I’ve always said I’ve had a preference for girls and it’s never been natural with any guy except for my current boyfriend. I now think it’s just because I was already so comfortable with him from the previous friendship. Thinking about men below even their neck makes me recoil. I remember being younger and all the girls were getting into sex with guys and I would just cringe when I thought about it. It made me so uncomfortable I would get goosebumps. I thought this was normal though, so I fought through the disgust because I thought everyone had to. I thought it was because I was shy and insecure but I’m not anymore so I don’t have that excuse. I think spiritually, and physically, I’m just hard wired to be with women. I can’t believe I didn’t realize until now. I found this sub recently (which has become such a safe space, thank you) and I finally read the master doc and I relate to 98% of it. 100% of it if you take out the denial and self doubt. Last month I even did go as far as to break up with him because of my feelings but I took him back a week later. I was depressed and he is my only friend, so I wasn’t ready then. I know that sounds selfish, but I just wasn’t. Anyway, I don’t know really what I’m looking for. Validation ? Hope ? I don’t want to lose my boyfriend as a friend. When I broke up with him he told me couldn’t be just friends with me, but my gut tells me that this time around it’s not going to be as shocking, and someday sooner than I expect we’ll be okay again. And I hope to whatever god exists that that happens. I see so many women on this sub that are friends with their ex partners though and that does give me hope. I just want to get over the guilt I think. He’s the best person I know and he’s so good to me. I feel like I’m ungrateful of his love. He’s never once been mad at me for any of this. I just hate hurting him. If you read all of this, you’re a saint. Sorry it’s probably all over the place and I left out so much. Just maybe tell me what you think if you feel like it. Do I take this step if I could stomach pretending my whole life ? Am I ungrateful ?
I’m open to any advice or questions at all. Thanks so much 🖤💗🖤💗
submitted by MackMystic to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 02:51 No_Faithlessness3486 Doing this again

I can’t do the photo but let’s do this
The Number Game
But IMPROVED!!
Made by u/German-Spy
The Basics:
  1. Age
  2. Gender
  3. Height
  4. Weight 5. Where are you from
  5. Zodiac Sign
  6. First Name
  7. Last Name
  8. Middle Name 10. Birthday
  9. Main Language(s)
Hobbies/Favorite things:
  1. Favorite Color
  2. Favorite Food
  3. Favorite Activity
  4. Favorite Music genre 16. Favorite Artist
  5. Favorite Song
  6. Favorite Movie 19. Favorite Video Game (if any)
  7. Favorite TV show
  8. Do you play any sports 22. Last thing you did
Life/Experience
  1. Do you currently have a job
  2. Future Job/CareeAmbitions 25. Have you drank/smoked anything
  3. Have you done drugs
  4. Do you have any pets 28. Most Favorable Memory
  5. Most embarrassing moment 30. Dream Vacation
  6. How many Family members
  7. How many friends 33. Do you plan on going
college/university
Social Media:
  1. Do you use any other social media then Reddit
  2. Who do you follow
  3. Have you ever had an internet
argument
  1. Most used Social Media app 38. What's your username on each app
  2. Have you met any friends online 40. Do you follow any NSFW accounts/pages
  3. Last Person you DM'd/followed
  4. What was the last message you
sent 43. How many followers/friends on social media
  1. Amount of time you use social
media
to
Personal Belongings:
  1. Most expensive thing you own
  2. Do you own anything above
$1,000
  1. Most prized possession
  2. Do you own anything
embarrassing
  1. Weirdest thing you own
  2. Do you own anything popular
  3. Do you own anything considered
"rich"
  1. Do you own anything futuristic 53. Coolest thing you own
  2. Oldest thing you own
  3. What did you buy get recently
Appearance/Looks
  1. Hair Style 67. Hair Length
  2. Hair Color 69. Nice
  3. Body Style
  4. Ethnicity 72. What are you wearing
  5. Eye Color 74. Are you wearing makeup
  6. Type of Underwear you wear
  7. Favorite outfit 77. Facial/Body Hair
Relationships:
  1. Sexuality
  2. Relationship Status
  3. Who is your crush 81. Celebrity Crush
  4. Have you ever cheated on
someone
  1. Ideal Girlfriend/Boyfriend
  2. Idea of Perfect Date
  3. Have you asked someone out 86. What do you hope in a
relationship
  1. Are you interested in anyone 88. Do you real life online date
Sex & Sexuality:
  1. Are you a virgin 90. Have you ever seen anyone naked
  2. Do you have piercing/tattoos
  3. Have you ever had same-sex
expirence
  1. Have you ever sent a nude
  2. Have you ever sexted
  3. Have you ever kissed anyone 96. Am I attractive
  4. Have you ever slept together
  5. Do you want to have sex 99. Are you straight, bi, gay/lesbian,
pan, etc.
Sexual: (Welcome to Spicy
Town)
  1. Bra/Dick size
  2. Pubic Hair: Natural, trimmed, shaved, none
  3. Do you have any hair 103. (Guys Only) Areautircumcised
  4. How often you Masturbate 105. Have you ever watched porn
  5. Ideal Sexual/Physical attributes
  6. Favorite Sexual Fantasy 108. Turn Ons/Turn Offs
  7. Any Kinks
  8. Ideal Sexual Position 111. How do you masturbate
  9. Do you own a toy 113. Have you ever been caught
Masturbating 114. Have you ever walked in when
someone was having sex
  1. Biggest fears of Sex 116. Do you have any STDS
  2. How often are you horny
  3. Most embarrassing sexual story 119. Are you currently horny
  4. What do you expect in a sexual relationship
Academics/School
  1. Where do you go to school 122. What classes do you take
  2. What grade are you in 124. Most favorite teacher
  3. Least favorite teachers
  4. Highest Grade/Lowest Grade in
classes
  1. How long is your school day
  2. Did you do your homework
  3. Do you have any test, quizzes, or
exams coming up 130. Last bad grade
  1. Last good grade
Economic Status/Wealth:
132: Are you rich/poor
  1. Where do you stand in the wealth
class (lower class, middle class, upper
class) 134. How big is your house
  1. Take a picture of your house
  2. How much do your parents make 137. Do your parents struggle with debt
  3. Do you own a pool
(above-ground/below-ground) 139. Do you live in a gated neighborhood
  1. Do you have expensive stuff 141. How big is your room
  2. What kind of school do you go to
Misc:
  1. Send a selfie
  2. Do whatever I say (no saying no)
  3. DM me
  4. Ask whatever you want (I can't say
no)
submitted by No_Faithlessness3486 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 02:29 enviouslittleahole I honestly have no idea what I'm attracted to because I've been so isolated. I'm confused and lost.

...yeah, I don't even know how to start here. At the beginning, I guess? I'm a 21 year old girl. I've never dated, kissed, held hands, none of that, let alone anything more intimate. I literally haven't been around anyone my own age, male or female, in almost ten years now. I was home schooled and pretty heavily isolated.
Everyone has thought I was a lesbian for years. I vividly remember my mom asking me if I was when I was about 8 years old, my dad told me I needed to stop dressing the way I did when I was about 11 or everyone would think I was gay, some kids when I was still in public school just kind of assumed it...all because I was a tomboy. Really, I just had crushing, suffocating internalized misogyny and that's a whole other story I don't wanna get into right now, but still, I dressed exclusively like a boy for years. So I guess I get why people thought that (at least in 2009 - 2012) but the thing is, I only ever had crushes on boys. I honestly, 100% have always considered myself straight.
Now I'm starting to wonder. I do notice girls. I just don't know if I'm attracted to them or what. I know I'm attracted to guys, but even that's really not in the traditional sense. I don't have ~intimate~ thoughts about anyone, frankly. There are certain people that I just find nice to look at, and forming a deep, connected relationship is top priority to me, so...? And here's another kicker: I've also thought I was aromantic for years, as in not experiencing romantic attraction. I still don't effing know. The thought of marriage to a man honestly makes me feel skeevy, because I'm terrified of ending up with some sexist asshole. And the thought of sex with anyone makes me feel uncomfortable, but the thought of sex with another girl especially grosses me out. (No offense to anyone, I'm just saying for me personally I don't think it's right.)
But I think I'd find the connection I'm hoping for better with another girl. In general, I'm more comfortable around girls and prefer their company. I won't have to worry about the nonsense gender roles I hate so much in a relationship, either.
So basically I'm a huge, lost mess.
Any advice?
submitted by enviouslittleahole to questioning [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 20:08 courts_joy Idk what I am??? ❤️💜💙

So I'm a cis sex repulsed ace girl and I have no idea what I am??? I have identified as hetromantic for a while but now I have no idea. I would 100% date a man, 100% date an enby, but I'm not to sure about a woman. I told my sister, who is gay, said hun thats not straight, so now I'm confused. I think I'm bironantic but I honestly don't know. Any advice would be helpful❤️
submitted by courts_joy to bisexual [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 08:59 ConvincingReplicant 35 [M4F] SE Michigan, Seeking Companion for the Apocalypse

Well here we are at the twilight of our civilization, and I'm just looking for some one to help me scavenge supplies form the radioactive decay... Or maybe a Netflix date over a voip call, your choice.
6'1'' black haibrown eyes, big black beard (at the moment) I really hope you like beards :D
Single, never married, monogamous
Job/House/Cars/excellent credit
STEM field
Bourbon
Camping
Autos/Auto racing/off roading
PC's/Building PC's/PC gaming/Streaming
Game of Thrones (well that's done... :-\ maybe we can re-watch season one and pretend that they didn't spend nearly a decade building us up for disappointment)
Westworld
Stranger Things
The Mandalorian (Gonna binge it when season 2 is done done!)
The Witcher
Umbrella Academy
Competitive shooting
Running / working out
Home projects
(good)Movies
Atheist
Child-free
I suppose you could say I'm looking for the Marla to my Tyler, a partner in world domination. Open to friends, casual dating, or something more. Mostly someone to rescue me from the toxic wasteland of dating apps. A companion to experience life with. Low key, casual dating, camping, option for more down the road.
I love dogs, but I'm quite allergic to pets, so I don't see myself living with anything that isn't behind glass, I guess. I can mitigate it with judicial hand washing and avoiding touching my face after playing with/petting pets. I do dog sit occasionally, not at my house, but with allergy medication. I wouldn't want to take it all the time.
I like to keep it pretty relaxed, not big on baclub scene, would rather have a small gathering of friends and play CAH or jackbox with some drinks. Maybe watch a scary movie or two.
I currently devote a lot of time to (pc gaming) content creation when I'm not working, it would be cool if you were into this as well. I know it's not for everyone, not a deal breaker, but it does take take up a lot of time, it would be nice to share this with some one. I recently started streaming Overwatch and I'm really enjoying it so it'd be cool of you can join in. I also play Vermintide II, MechWarrior, DayZ, Deep Rock, some other games... Willing to try anything new at least once, twice if I like it. :P
ALSO, I've been working on a lot of home projects, so if you are interested in DIY, that might be fun too!
Politics? I just want interracial gay married couples to be able to protect their adopted children and marijuana plants with AR15's and 100 round magazines. Pro choice / bodily integrity / autonomy. Pro science, vaccination, climate change is real, covid is real - wear your damn mask, idk why I feel like I need to include this but we landed on the moon and the earth is round.
Maybe we can get together, with the current climate, perhaps a socially distanced picnic at the park... grab some cider and doughnuts, before the snow flies... :D the snow has flown, but maybe we can get it anyway.
submitted by ConvincingReplicant to cf4cf [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 08:38 yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet5 This is nothing compared to the last two posts, but comparing myself is my emotion right now

ready for the low self esteem rant? no? too bad.
so i’m someone with decent self esteem, joined reddit 240 days ago and got 4 things over 200 upvotes. i was proud of those. i’m great at math, i enjoy it, unlike all my friends, and i take 9th grade geometry, in 8th grade. id say i’m funny, or at least i try way too hard to be.
now that i’m done quickly explaining the few things i’m proud of, today was a lot of a downhill. had an average to less than average day, then right before i go to bed an hour ago, i make the mistake of checking my friend’s reddit account. i introduced them to reddit 2 weeks ago. 3 days on reddit, they get a 940 upvote post, and almost match my karma, AND get 3 awards, i have one. now this hurted my self esteem bc i like reddit, and so fast they ruined all my accomplishments on reddit(no fault to them). well now today i look and see two special posts. a 500 and 350. THE 350, more than i have ever achieved on reddit, is a cup of hot chocolate. that’s it.
soon after i’m in tears (forgot to mention i cry easily and am self-conscious about that) and an hour later i have come to “i have accomplished nothing on social media and the dozens of hours i have spent creating are worthless” i make a youtube channel and out effort editing? my friend uploads un-edited videos and just doesn’t upload if we say someone’s name, audio is quieter than you can imagine, audio is bad, and scraps recording if he makes a recording into two parts.
and now... dating life
ok so i’m dming with 3 friends, one is the one with a channel, the other is the reddit one, and the other is my best friend. now he and i are straight, so his brother (yt guy) jokes “you two would make a great couple” and us, straight guys say yes we would and a week later we are dating. now im not sure it’s going well, i feel like he isn’t trying to hang out with me, like at all. i have to ask him if he wants to do somn, and if i don’t he asks if somn is wrong. i don’t want to break up, and that’s partly because i want to have a relationship that isn’t over in a month. now none of us are friends with yt guy bc he was an asshole to us, mainly that for 3 days he flooded my dms with you could be straight or whatever and i asked him to stop 100 times.
im doing horrible in school, and it’s not even that i’m getting bad grades, i pulled a 4 b’s 3 a’s last quarter. it’s that i was behind for weeks, spent days catching up, just to fix c’a, and i’m super critical of myself. i procrastinate a ton and am lazy
i expect too much of myself, i expect myself to do well, so much that i can be winning in a game, and rage at it. if i get unfairly killed or anything in a game i get mad, even if i do the same thing. i wonder if it has reached the point of people not wanting to play with me, but why should i care, if i hate the time playing it.
fun facts:
i hate spending money or just getting things from family for no reason
i’m not close to my family, they are christian, i’m atheist, me and my sibling are both gay tho
my parents are divorced for 8 years
as you might notice, i am extremely judgmental of myself
don’t criticize me or tell me what to do, i tell myself everything i did wrong too much already
this is the last time i be open on reddit honestly if i get any negative commenta
NOT sorry about the tangeant, i stopped crying!
additional notes: before september, when i got close to those 3 friends, i had serious trust issues, after someone told the class a stupid crush in kindergarten. those issues stayed because of the dedication of 5 year old me. i changed my name to my middle name, went vegetarian and never got close to my friends because of this dedication.
submitted by yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet5 to MMFB [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 06:38 RegyptianStrut Can someone please explain to me what I did wrong?

So I started talking to this dude on Grindr and we got along well enough to start texting. We're both in our early 20s. He tells me he's not looking for a relationship and just wants to be friends and I let him know I'm 100% cool with that. Having a platonic gay friend would be actually awesome and probably something I need since I mostly end up befriending straight guys and I don't really have anyone close in my life that I can relate to with LGBT stuff.
So we hang out twice and each time we have a good time enjoying listening to music together, talking about our lives, our pets, and generally getting along walking around a park the first time and then the town's main street the second. He mentioned a few times that I remind him of his close friends. We enjoyed plenty of the songs we showed each other and had engaging conversations about a lot, really.
At the end of our second hang out he says we should hang out again and invites me to his house and says he has a room "all to himself" (his exact phrasing) (which felt kind of weird. I thought he wanted to be platonic? Seems like he may have changed his mind?) I agree, regardless, and mentally prep myself for either outcome (just hanging at his house or a hookup,) since I'm okay with either honestly.
Since I didn't want to misread the situation, I told myself to assume he still wants to be platonic if that he'd have to make the first move if that wasn't the case, since like I said I was fine just being friends. Though it did make me wonder if despite that claim he read both hangouts as dates based on him inviting me to his house and emphasizing that he has his room to himself etc.
Despite this, on the morning of our planned third hangout, he tells me he has a migraine. I'm a bit paranoid, so I think to myself "oh no, what if he no longer interested in this friendship?" But reality kicked in and I realized maybe the dude just has a migraine. He offers to reschedule, so I do and for sometime next week and then 2 days before that day I get THIS text:
https://i.imgur.com/z1VcmT9.png
And while he says I didn't do anything wrong, I can't help, but think I did, and it makes me feel worthless and unlikable. Like I repelled him somehow. Especially since he essentially did both the "it's not you, it's me" and the "have a nice life" thing. I didn't over text him or anything. I always made sure to wait for him to respond before I texted back etc. Like, I'm not a clingy needy type person or anything... I just can't figure it out and it's not like I can ask him, that'd be weird.
submitted by RegyptianStrut to socialskills [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 02:47 Prokinsey I read the Duggar sex manual so you don't have to! - "Intended for Pleasure" by Dr. Ed Wheat, Chapters 1-5

Whenever the Duggars are asked about sex they bring up Dr. Ed Wheat, Boobs sex doctopediatrician, and they always reference his book “Intended for Pleasure”. It would appear that this is THE Duggar sex book. The first edition of “Intended for Pleasure” was published in 1977. Jim Bob and Michelle were married in 1984, after the second edition was published. Anna and Josh were married in 2008, two years before the fourth edition was published. I’ll be reading the fourth edition. Skip to chapter 4 for the steamy stuff.
In the foreword, Dr. Dennis Rainey strokes the late Wheats ego, calls him a “prophet”, and complains about the sexual revolution. Rainey instructs parents to give this book to their children when they get engaged and have them read the first 100 pages + chapter 14 on STDs now and save the rest for “later”. The PDF version of the book doesn't have the pages formatted or numbered like the physical copy so I can't tell you where you're supposed to stop reading if you aren't married yet.
In the Preface to the Fourth Edition, Dow Pursley strokes Wheats ego and thanks a few people.
Chapter 1 - Intended For Pleasure
  1. This chapter opens with Wheat explaining that as a doctor he can only fix so much and that’s why he provides GODLY CHRISTIAN COUNSEL to his patients. Apparently, everyone and their dog were piling into Wheats office to ask him about their sex problems. The solution was GOD. God says sex and marriage are good and you should do three things: 1) “When we marry we should stop being dependant on our parents and in-laws. We are to become completely dependant on our mates to satisfy ALL of our needs. (Duggar fail #1) 2) The man is responsible for holding the marriage together by “cleaving” to his wife. (Sex Pest fail #1) CLEAVING in this sense means to weld together inseparably, so that each becomes a part of the other. Therefore, the man is to be totally committed to his one wife. 3) We are commanded to be joined together in sexual union, to be ONE FLESH.”
  2. Wheat THOROUGHLY rebuffs the idea that humans are animals or anything like animals. We’re BETTER than animals.
  3. Wheat is obsessed with scriptural references to sex. He says every book of the bible talks about married sex and it’s the ultimate good.
Chapter 2 - Finding God’s Design
  1. When an Arkansas couple attempts to make an appointment at Wheats office for their state-mandated pre-marriage blood test Wheat tells them they need to read four of his books first, including this one, which means he added that statement in the second or later edition.
  2. At the same time, he says he “asks” the couple to listen to two of his audiobooks before their appointment, and then says that the same information is available in chapter 4 of this book, which makes the information redundant. He must’ve made a pretty penny selling his books to people who just wanted a blood test.
  3. Reading these books and listening to these CDs supposedly ‘dispels many uncertainties and fears’, allows the couple to “begin their marriage with openness and communication”, and teaches them everything they need to know about sex.
  4. During the appointment for the state-mandated blood test Wheat likes to get handsy and quiz people. Has your doctor ever assigned you homework? He says “this procedure assures me that they’ve been told what they need to know and it affords me the time to go over the basic principles of the God-planned marriage with them during the office call.” Why he couldn’t quiz you with your clothes on I do not know.
  5. Wheat also does “premarriage counseling sessions” (clothes on or off? He didn’t say this time.). He says during the first meeting he gives the couple 11 biblical principles to ensure a happy marriage that works on anyone, believer or not, and that non-christian couples are “unable” to meet these standards. Huh?
  6. The first principle he teaches is “Reserve funds to allow for a few weeks of uninterrupted time for a honeymoon” The second: “Borrow no money” The third: “Be independent of in-laws. Leave Father and Mother. (Don’t live in your dad's storage unit.)” The fourth: “Declare a moratorium on media for the first year. (Don’t be a fame whore.)” The fifth: “Never go to bed with an unreconciled relationship” The sixth: “Seek outside spiritual counsel if unable to resolve a major conflict within one week.” The seventh: “Seek counsel if the wife is unable to attain good sexual release” The eighth: “Have bible study together every day” The ninth: “The husband must be 100% committed to loving his wife. The wife must be 100% committed to being submissive.” The tenth: “The husband is to be head of his wife.” The eleventh: “And the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
Chapter 3 - Choosing to Love
  1. Biblical love is a choice, and it’s called “agape love”. “Agape love” is “unconditional and irrevocable.”
  2. Wheat talks for the millionth time about “leaving and cleaving”.
  3. “The fact is, the Bible gives no indication that the feeling the world calls love is to be the foundation for marriage.”
Chapter 4 - Understanding the Basics
  1. This chapter explains in excruciating detail the importance of understanding the anatomy of the genitals. He says that naming the anatomy of your genitals is akin to Adam naming the animals in the garden.
  2. Wheat refers to the female reproductive system as the “female birth-giving organs”.
  3. There are two very unhelpful drawings of the female anatomy. One is a side view of the internal structures that makes the bowel, uterus, and bladder look like one blobby mass. The second is a “front view” of the internal female anatomy that would leave you to believe your large bowel is one short, straight tube that goes up to your lungs.
  4. The written explanation of the female anatomy is actually decent. The recommendations on pap smears are out of date.
  5. There’s an illustration of “obtaining a pap smear” that makes the vagina look a foot long and doesn’t involve a speculum. The caption calls pap smears “painless”, which isn’t the case when they use the broom that goes into the cervical os. Anyone who goes for their first pap having read this explanation and no other is in for a lot of surprises.
  6. Wheat claims that all of the natural lubricant a female person produces will pool in the back of the vagina and has to be “brought out” of the vaginal opening and clitoris. This isn’t true. The vagina does produce some minimal lubricant during sexual excitement, but the majority of it is produced by two glands that excrete on either side of the vaginal opening. If she isn’t wet at the opening diving for lubricant isn’t going to help anything.
  7. Wheat says the husband will need to apply a lubricant if the wife doesn’t adequately self-lubricate, as if a female person applying lubricant just didn’t occur to him.
  8. Wheat explains the procedure for an engaged woman to stretch her hymen so sex on her wedding night won’t be painful. This involves placing one, and eventually two, lubricated fingers completely inside the vagina, starting 2-4 weeks before her wedding and practicing every day. Can you imagine the Duggar girls going on a special-magical trip to the bathroom each day to prepare themselves for intercourse?
  9. The instructions for the husband to stretch the vaginal opening on the wedding night are to insert three (3!!!) fingers into the vagina, slowly over the course of 15-30 minutes, until all three fingers are fully inserted. He advises this may cause tearing(!!!), and that blood can be stopped by holding a tissue to the torn area. He also advises that if you tear you can still have intercourse, and if that causes more tearing to repeat the tissue procedure, and still you can have intercourse again the next day.
  10. In the illustration of “stretching the hymen” the caption says that this “procedure” can also be done by the physician. Can you imagine one of the Duggar girls set up in stirrups getting her vagina stretched by an old sex doctor for 30 minutes while Michelle holds their hand and coaches them to breathe?
  11. Wheat describes a “special position” to be used on the wedding night to bypass any remaining hymen. The wife puts two pillows under her hips, straightens her legs out, the husband approaches from above, and when she can slowly bring her knees up for comfort the husband “should no longer force the penis in, but allow her to thrust her pelvis…”
  12. His last-ditch option if you just can’t get it in is to apply a numbing cream to the vaginal opening so she doesn’t feel it when you force your penis inside her.
  13. Once you’ve got it in Wheat advises “At the time of first intercourse, the husband should not persist in striving to bring his wife to orgasm with his penis in the vagina. … After the penis is inserted, the husband should have his orgasm quickly, withdraw the penis, and stimulate his wife’s clitoral area gently with his fingers to bring her to orgasm.”
  14. While finally describing what the clitoris is Wheat explains a procedure he does when women have pain in their clitoris during sex: he inserts a metal probe under the prepuce “and the adhesions will be released.”
  15. Wheat is pro-period-sex, stating “The is no medical reason for avoiding intercourse during any part of the menstrual period.”
  16. Wheat advises mothers that virgins can use tampons and they will not cause sexual pleasure.
  17. Wheat has a very progressive view of PMS, saying that “PMS is not a character disorder. The symptoms that occur with PMS do not mean that a woman is weak or unstable or that she’s lost touch with God. These symptoms are a result of physical changes, not of emotional or spiritual weakness.”
  18. The male diagrams are just as useless as the female ones.
  19. Wheat describes circumcision as a “hygienic procedure”.
Chapter 5 - One Flesh
  1. Wheat blames the average virginal newlywed's problems on “brainwashing by the romantic novels and movies that suggested that “it all comes naturally””
  2. Wheat says “In considering buying or building a home, you should pay close attention to having your bedroom and bath as isolated as possible from other rooms. Every master bedroom needs a good lock, controlled from the inside, of course. Every child should be trained not to disturb his mother and daddy when their bedroom door is locked.”
  3. Wheat also says “Under no circumstances should you allow a child to sleep in your room with you, except perhaps a new baby for the first six months or less.” We know the Duggars let their small kids sleep in their room when they’re sick or injured, per the TV show when all the small kids had a stomach bug and when one of the little girls had her tonsils out. The recommendation to move a baby out of the room at 6 months contradicts the AAP, who says infants should sleep in their parent's room for the first year of life to reduce the risk of SIDS.
  4. Wheat recommends low-to-no light during “lovemaking”, saying “the mystery of the body enhances the lovemaking experience.”
  5. Wheat says a bath or shower before “sex play” shows your “mate how important the event of physical unity is.” He goes on to say “Bathing and shaving at night will show love, respect, and an anticipation of closeness.”
  6. Wheat encourages foreplay that involves “caressing each other all over” and that it should never be hurried. “Only lust and self-gratification are done in haste.”
  7. “Experimenting” is allowed. “The union of marriage frees the couple to enjoy their bodies in whatever ways are most pleasing, provided that both are being pleased. Without restrictions (other than selfish acts that hurt the partner or evoke distaste), the couple should feel free to experiment and to “know” each other in the most intimate sense possible.”
  8. Touch the boobies only after caressing everywhere else. “After the preliminary period of stroking the entire body, the husband may enjoy fondling his wife’s breasts, and she may enjoy his caresses and kisses on the nipple area. ”
  9. This guy has a weird obsession with the color of the labia.
  10. Wheat spends a lot of time talking about exactly what happens to the female genitalia during foreplay and sex, like how many times this part increases in size, or what color this turns, and exactly how many seconds this takes.
  11. Wheat advises the young couple that certain positions may cause pain to the wife but “After several children have been born, the tissues around the vagina will be stretched, and the wife will then be more comfortable in varied positions.”
  12. Wheat describes a few sex positions for us. The first is “male-above”, which he claims is “by far the most commonly used and gives the husband freedom of movement plus greatest control of strength and rapidity of thrusting. Most couples consider this the most satisfying of all positions.” Next, he describes the “female-above” where the wife is advised to straddle him, lean forward, and insert the penis “at about a 45-degree angle and moves back on the shaft, rather than sitting down on it.” This position is advantageous because it “gives the husband access to her breasts. He also has free use of his hands to better stimulate the clitoris, if necessary, while they are joined in sexual intercourse. ” On to “lateral” or “side-by-side position”. You’re supposed to start like the “female-above” and then roll over onto your sides so you’re facing each other. Finally, we meet the “male-behind position” which Wheat says is “seldom used but may be tried on occasion” This isn’t the “doggy-style” that you and I know and love, no. This is done with the husband and wife both laying on their sides facing the same direction.
  13. Wheat has repeatedly reassured us in this chapter that the size of the penis has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction.
  14. He describes the female orgasm as “as a momentary feeling of suspension, followed by a sensation of warmth starting in the perineal area and pervading the entire body. Rhythmic contractions of the lower third of the vagina follow.” I guess I’ve been doing it wrong all these years. You guys are getting suspension and warm fuzzies?
  15. Men are advised to do 5 things to “increase the physical intensity and pleasure of your orgasm”. “1) wait at least 24 hours after previous orgasm to allow the body to store a larger volume of seminal fluid. 2) Lengthen the foreplay and excitement period so that the penis can remain erect for 20 minutes. 3) Increase your imagination factor by seeing and feeling your wife’s ecstatic response to your knowledgeable and skillful physical stimulation, which brings her to the point of maximum physical pleasure. 4) Voluntarily contract your anal sphincter muscles during your orgasm. 5) Increase the force of thrusting while your orgasm is in progress.”
  16. Wheat advises you might twitch all over when you cum.
  17. You should be giving your wife multiple orgasms: “As soon as the husband finishes ejaculation, he should begin manual stimulation of his wife’s clitoris, so that she can have repeated orgasms. This is the way the woman is designed! She should not have to ask for this, as the whole sex relationship is a pattern of pleasing each other. This means it is not desirable to change pace by having to ask for something for one’s self. It should be the natural desire of the husband to provide every pleasure he knows of, and the wife may be intensely pleased by this continuing stimulation. ”
Stay tuned for next time when we learn about "Solutions to Common Problems", "The Preorgasmic Wife: Fulfillment Ahead", "For The Husband With Erectile Dysfunction: Fulfillment Again", "The Power of Sexual Intimacy", "The "Perfect" Wife (By Gaye Wheat)", "Planning and Achieving Parenthood", and "Sex During Pregnancy"
If there's anything you're curious about that you think I can find with Ctrl+F drop a comment below and I'll do my best.
submitted by Prokinsey to DuggarsSnark [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 00:51 SWGalaxysEdge ** Tue 11/24 Christmas TV show listings - ALL CHANNELS **

all times Eastern USA - check local listings
The Simpsons - Dude, Where's My Ranch? Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / FAM-E 52 Homer writes a Christmas carol called "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders," which soon becomes so popular among the residents in Springfield that the family decides to take a vacation just to get away from it and leaves to visit a ranch for a few weeks.
The Magical Christmas Ornaments Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / HALLMV 84 A publishing executive finds her Christmas spirit reawakened when her mother begins sending her the familys Christmas ornaments, which brings a positive change to her life, including an introduction to a handsome male nurse from next door.
Feliz NaviDAD Tomorrow, 12:01 AM / LIF-E 38 After losing his wife around Christmas a few years ago, a widowed father has lost his love for the holiday season, and he avoids anything related to Christmas, but his siter and his teenage daughter are determined to bring his yuletide spirit back.
Holiday Date Tomorrow, 12:03 AM / HALMRK 68 After a woman's boyfriend breaks up with her right before the holidays, she agrees to go home with an actor who will pose as her boyfriend, but when her family realizes he's never celebrated Christmas, they become suspicious about his identity.
The Simpsons - 'Tis the Fifteenth Season Tomorrow, 12:30 AM / FAM-E 52 Homer performs one of his most selfish acts to-date and spends the family's entire Christmas savings on a major present for himself, but when he realizes his egotistical nature, he becomes the nicest person in Springfield, much to Flanders' chagrin.
The Simpsons - Simpsons Christmas Stories Tomorrow, 1:00 AM / FAM-E 52 Homer tells the family a Christmas story about the birth of Jesus; Grampa regales them with a tale of holiday war; the entire town of Springfield readies themselves for the holiday season by bursting out into song and special festivities.
Christmas Cookie Challenge - Homespun Christmas Tomorrow, 1:00 AM / FOODTV 56 Five cookie makers create Christmas cross-stitch cookies with lifelike embroidery patterns, then the bakers combine the beauty of a wreath with the fun of a Christmas character in one massive, 3D cookie display; Jason Smith serves as guest judge.
Daily Flash Tomorrow, 1:06 AM / WWSBDT 7 / ABC / New The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree arrives in Manhattan; New York City launches a mental health team to respond to 911 calls; Chinese consumers spent over $100-billion during Singles Day holiday; Beyonce teams with home fitness company Peloton.
Black Narcissus - Episode Two Tomorrow, 1:06 AM / FX-E 60 Sister Clodagh begins to lose control of the convent, and feelings come to a head between Clodagh, Ruth, and Mr. Dean at the Christmas celebration.
Last Christmas Tomorrow, 1:26 AM / HBOF-W 211 A young woman who appears to have an endless amount of bad luck decides to accept a job working as an elf in a year-round Christmas store, but after a man enters her life and her life starts to change, she wonders if it's all too good to be true.
Parks and Recreation - Citizen Knope Tomorrow, 1:30 AM / IFC 85 Leslie becomes frustrated with her inability to effect any progress from within the Parks Department, so she spearheads a citizens group to work from the outside; the office staff debates what to get Leslie for Christmas
Christmas Song Tomorrow, 2:00 AM / HALLMV 84 The holiday season increases the already-high tension when two choral groups who were formerly rivals but have now been merged into one school must compete in a televised Christmas song competition with their directors' jobs at stake.
Christmas List Tomorrow, 2:03 AM / HALMRK 68 Isobel has an extensive, detailed wish list of the things she expects for her storybook Christmas, starting with a snow-covered cottage in the Northwest, but when her boyfriend goes away, her list falls apart and a new romance changes everything.
The Christmas Aunt Tomorrow, 2:04 AM / LIF-E 38 Two weeks before Christmas, a woman returns home to care for her niece and nephew while their parents are away, and she reconnects with her childhood best friend who helps her restore the kids' faith in Santa and their love for Christmas.
Catch a Christmas Star Tomorrow, 4:00 AM / HALLMV 84 After a renowned pop music icon gets back together with her high school sweetheart, she soon encounters resistance from her record label and the media, and she must decide if true happiness or album sales are more important to her.
Entertaining Christmas Tomorrow, 4:03 AM / HALMRK 68 When a cookbook author decides to retire, she picks her daughter to step into her footsteps, but when it becomes clear that the daughter has none of her mother's talent, she must prove herself worthy of her family's company to get the business
Ask This Old House - Happy Holidays from AskTOH Tomorrow, 4:30 AM / WEDU-DT6 618 / CREATE / HDTV Roger discusses an alternative Christmas tree species; Richard explains what can and can't go down a garbage disposal after a big holiday dinner; Heath helps a homeowner stay safe while putting up a variety of Christmas lights.
Christmas Scavenger Hunt Tomorrow, 6:00 AM / HALMRK 68 A woman decides to head back home to spend the holidays there, but things start to get complicated after she becomes forced to partner up with her ex-boyfriend to participate in her hometown's annual Christmas scavenger hunt.
Come Dance with Me Tomorrow, 6:00 AM / HALLMV 84 An investment expert enrolls in a waltz class to impress his fiance for Christmas, however he soon falls for his new teacher, and quickly becomes ensnared in a series of untruths when he discovers his business may ruin her dance studio.
Mom - Jell-O Shots and the Truth About Santa Tomorrow, 7:30 AM / FXX 82 Bonnie attempts to convince Christy to repair her broken relationship with Violet; Adam gets ready to attend the grand opening of his bar.
A Christmas Wedding Date Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / LIF-E 38 After being fired from her job, a woman returns to her small hometown to attend an old friend's wedding on Christmas Eve, but she soon finds she is forced to relive the wedding day over and over again until she discovers the key to happiness.
Miss Christmas Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / HALMRK 68 An official tree finder is in search of the perfect specimen to use for the year's festivities, but when a small-town boy sends her a letter promising the best tree, the woman must first convince the boy's dad to part with his tree.
The Perfect Christmas Present Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / HALLMV 84 When a businessman's friend asks him to find the perfect Christmas gift for his girlfriend, he ends up gradually falling in love with her, while doing research on her, and feels guilty as his emotions are torn between his love and his friend
The Great Christmas Light Fight Tomorrow, 9:00 AM / AMCALL 64 The Nelson family from Elk Grove, Calif., made their own plasma icicles; the Mish family in Kirkland, Wash., show off their 15x15 Seahawks logo; the Hoag family in Strongsville, Ohio, decorated with a homemade carousel and Ferris wheel.
Living Single - Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow ... Dammit Tomorrow, 9:30 AM / TVONE 146 Overton invites the crew to spend Christmas at his family cabin in Canada, but the secluded area has now become a tourist attraction with a theme park and is nowhere close to the memories that he used to have as a child with his family.
A Christmas Proposal Tomorrow, 10:00 AM / LIF-E 38 Two lawyers battling over whether a quiet mountain town should become a ski resort realize that they are childhood sweethearts, and when a car accident forces them to stay in the same town, their relationship is taken to a new level.
Beethoven's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 10:00 AM / AMCALL 64 A holiday elf takes off from the North Pole with Santa's sleigh and his magically endless bag of toys and gifts, and the talking St. Bernard must try and rescue the elf and the missing bag in time to save the Christmas tradition.
Journey Back to Christmas Tomorrow, 10:00 AM / HALLMV 84 A World War II-era nurse suddenly finds herself transported to the year 2016, where she meets a man who shows her the importance of family ties and demonstrates to her that the true meaning of Christmas is timeless and unchanging
Deck the Halls Tomorrow, 10:30 AM / FAM-E 52 As two neighbors in a small town prepare for the festivities of Christmas, they get into an all-out war when one decides to decorate his home with so many lights that they are visible from space, but they soon learn the true meaning of Christmas.
One Crazy Christmas Tomorrow, 10:45 AM / SHO3XE 243 A successful attorney navigates an awkward and chaotic Christmas dinner with her family when her daughter surprisingly brings home a new fiancé, who the woman realizes is a man with whom shes had a one-night stand with in the past.
Always and Forever Christmas Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / LIF-E 38 After inheriting her grandfather's Christmas store, a marketing executive returns to Vermont to oversee operations at "Forever Christmas" before she sells it at the end of the Christmas season, but the locals help her have a change of heart.
My Christmas Dream Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / HALMRK 68 A department store manager who wants to get to run the store's new Paris location promises the owner the store's best holiday display ever and then runs out of ideas, going to a recently-fired employee with artistic talents for inspiration.
Christmas Wonderland Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / HALLMV 84 When an art curator returns to her small hometown to babysit her niece and nephew, she has to work with her high school sweetheart to plan the high school dance and rediscovers her passion for painting, but she is torn by her life in the big city.
Girlfriends - You Better Watch Out Tomorrow, 12:15 PM / BET J 107 Stan surprises Maya by giving her a very expensive watch for Christmas, but when the well-meaning Joan encourages her to give the timepiece back to him, she refuses to do so because she absolutely loves the valuable gift.
One Crazy Christmas Tomorrow, 1:45 PM / SHO3XW 251 A successful attorney navigates an awkward and chaotic Christmas dinner with her family when her daughter surprisingly brings home a new fiancé, who the woman realizes is a man with whom shes had a one-night stand with in the past.
Holiday Spin Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A man who once gave up his former career as a champion dancer after suffering an injury is paid a surprise visit from his estranged son, who asks him for help in training for a holiday-themed ballroom dance that is set to take place on Christmas Eve.
Christmas at Holly Lodge Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / HALMRK 68 When a woman inherits a ski lodge from her parents, she soon realizes that she must keep the business from falling into the hands of a major developer, who sends an evaluator to the legendary property to check out the area's potential.
Moonlight & Mistletoe Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / HALLMV 84 When bankruptcy threatens the New England tourist attraction Santaville, the resident St. Nick seeks the help of his daughter, who left the Christmas business years ago and seems to have forgotten the meaning of the holiday.
Malcolm in the Middle - Pearl Harbor Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / FUSE 109 Malcolm and Reese fall victim to a scheme perpetrated by their neighbor who convinces them both they're gay and has them embark to a musical together; Hal gets fed up with competing over Christmas decorations and invents a new holiday.
Love at the Christmas Table Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / LIF-E 38 Two best friends, a young man named Sam and a woman named Katherine, who have grown up side by side and who've shared every Christmas dinner together, reconsider their relationship now that Sam has realized that Katherine is "the one."
Merry & Bright Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / HALMRK 68 The CEO of a company meets a man during the busy Christmas season who she assumes is the one her mother wants to set her up with, but he turns out to be the one she has to work with, and they find they have more in common than they think.
Christmas in Montana Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / HALLMV 84 A woman goes to Montana to help a resistant man save his ranch before the holidays, and her time on the ranch helps restore her faith in Christmas just in time for a miracle.
Christmas at the Chateau Tomorrow, 4:45 PM / SHOFAM 248 A group of sisters attempt to save a historic mansion and beloved family home in their town from a corrupt bank that plans to foreclose on Christmas, but things get complicated when a sister falls in love with one of the bankers
A Crafty Christmas Romance Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A woman who owns a craft store discovers a donated copy of "A Christmas Carol," which contains a letter to Santa from 70 years ago, and she sets out to track down the author of the letter with the help of the man who gave the book to her store.
Write Before Christmas Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / HALMRK 68 A recently-single woman decides to send out Christmas cards to those who have impacted her life, such as her younger brother in the military, the aunt who raised her, a music teacher who inspired her, and her honest best friend.
A Christmas to Remember Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / HALLMV 84 A TV personality with a bad attitude and a soaring stress level decides to take an impromptu road trip through the mountains to get away from it all, but after a bad accident gives her a case of amnesia, she relies on a friendly stranger's help.
My Best Friend's Christmas Tomorrow, 6:25 PM / SHOFAM 248 When a woman returns home for the holidays hoping to reconnect with her high school sweetheart, she meets his new girlfriend, so to escape the embarrassment, she and her best friend fake their own holiday romance, but her fake feelings turn real.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Tomorrow, 7:00 PM / AMCALL 64 Members of an eccentric family attempt to create the perfect holiday by inviting all their relatives over for a long visit, but the plan turns into a complete disaster after a series of mishaps occur that involve a cat and Christmas lights.
The Christmas Experience Tomorrow, 7:00 PM / TRI 131 An important truth that we discover as we experience Christmas is that God always keeps His promises and that we can always trust God's timing, and discover as well what it truly means to experience Christmas.
Christmas at the Chateau Tomorrow, 7:45 PM / SHOFMW 256 A group of sisters attempt to save a historic mansion and beloved family home in their town from a corrupt bank that plans to foreclose on Christmas, but things get complicated when a sister falls in love with one of the bankers
A Twist of Christmas Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A single mother fears her son's Christmas is ruined when she accidentally mixes up his presents with the daughter of a lawyer, who she despises, but the pair find themselves falling in love as they try to sort out the gifts.
A Christmas Tree Grows in Colorado Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / HALMRK 68 A woman finds herself forced to convince a firefighter to let her acquire a certain spruce tree, which is located on his property, that she needs as a part of her plans to organize her town's upcoming Christmas celebration.
A Godwink Christmas: Second Chance, First Love Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / HALLMV 84 After 15 years, a man moves home from Hawaii with his two sons and through a series of coincidences and ends up stuck in traffic next to his high school sweetheart at Christmas.
Top Elf - Tis the Season to be Top Elf Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / NIC-E 36 For the second time in history, Santa Claus transports seven extraordinary elf contestants to the North Pole to compete for the title of Top Elf, and social media star Addison Rae joins Santa and Ms. Jingles to judge life-sized advent calendar.
Shark Tank Tomorrow, 9:00 PM / CNBC 42 Two entrepreneurs hope that they can keep people warm during the holidays; a Christmas tree is taken to the next level; a resolution to a Christmas nuisance is pitched; an entrepreneur duo may have found a child's direct connection to Santa Claus.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Tomorrow, 9:15 PM / AMCALL 64 Members of an eccentric family attempt to create the perfect holiday by inviting all their relatives over for a long visit, but the plan turns into a complete disaster after a series of mishaps occur that involve a cat and Christmas lights.
My Best Friend's Christmas Tomorrow, 9:25 PM / SHOFMW 256 When a woman returns home for the holidays hoping to reconnect with her high school sweetheart, she meets his new girlfriend, so to escape the embarrassment, she and her best friend fake their own holiday romance, but her fake feelings turn real.
Everybody Hates Chris - Everybody Hates Kris Tomorrow, 10:00 PM / FUSE 109 Julius and Chris pick up some extra holiday work by dressing up as Santa Claus and his elf to entertain the local children at a department store; Chris is hospitalized for an illness and meets a mysterious man while there.
A Welcome Home Christmas Tomorrow, 10:03 PM / LIF-E 38 While supporting her local military chapter's Christmas toy drive, a woman is partnered with a veteran who has recently returned home, and as they organize the annual Christmas ball for the kids, they begin to form a special bond with each other.
Pride, Prejudice, and Mistletoe Tomorrow, 10:03 PM / HALMRK 68 An entrepreneurial woman decides to spend Christmas in her hometown, where she joins forces with a former rival to plan a charity event together, but as she starts to spend time with her family, she finds herself mending past relationships.
The Big Bang Theory - The Holiday Summation Tomorrow, 11:00 PM / WMOR-DT 12 / IND / HDTV Sheldon and Amy return from their holiday trip to Texas and recount the terrible events that took place during their trip; Leonard and Penny go Christmas tree shopping; the baby's crying leaves Howard and Bernadette feeling hopeless.
Bob's Burgers - Better Off Sled Tomorrow, 11:30 PM / FXX 82 Louise, Gene and Tina engage in a heated turf war when their usual sledding territory is invaded by a group of angsty teenagers; Bob comes to Linda's aid as she faces limited time left to knit three scarves before Christmas arrives
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2020.11.23 22:01 autotldr ‘Extremely aggressive’ internet censorship spreads in the world’s democracies

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 79%. (I'm a bot)
The largest collection of public internet censorship data ever compiled shows that even citizens of what are considered the world's freest countries aren't safe from internet censorship.
The University of Michigan team used its own Censored Planet tool, an automated censorship tracking system launched in 2018, to collect more than 21 billion measurements over 20 months in 221 countries.
While the United States saw a small uptick in blocking, mostly driven by individual companies or internet service providers filtering content, the study did not uncover widespread censorship.
News, human rights and government sites saw a censorship spike in Poland after protests in July 2019, and same-sex dating sites were aggressively blocked in India after the country repealed laws against gay sex in September 2018.
Censored Planet releases technical details for researchers, activists The researchers say the findings show the effectiveness of Censored Planet's approach, which turns public internet servers into automated sentries that can monitor and report when access to websites is being blocked.
While censorship efforts generally start small, Raman says they could have big implications in a world that is increasingly dependent on the internet for essential communication needs.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: country#1 Censored#2 censorship#3 block#4 Planet#5
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2020.11.23 19:51 lovingjk3000 Stans on Twitter are too invested in kpop idols sexualities and relationships

I know how touchy of a subject this is, and how bad it would look if a cis heterosexual person were to bring this up, so I just wanted to clarify that I’m a 16 year old girl who has struggled with my sexuality a lot growing up, being raised in a Christian household and all.
This post is gonna be long since I’m going to bring up multiple instances that I’ve seen the last couple of weeks. The first being Solar of Mamamoo clearing up rumors about Eric Nam for the 50th time in her liveshow. This obviously has more to do with idols relationships rather than sexualities, but I’ll get into that later.
It’s been an ongoing rumor that Solar and Moonbyul are dating, some people joke about it and others take it too seriously. There have been a lot of analysis and theories of the girls behavior towards each other and it got me to thinking of what Lauren of 5th Harmony said a while back. In an interview she said that her fans shipping her with Camila at the time made her very uncomfortable since she was queer and Camila was not. She acknowledged the analysis videos people made and the fanfictions people wrote. Poor girl said she felt like a PREDATOR because she was the one often “turning” Camila and the one with the dominant energy.
Now, I’m not saying either girls of Mamamoo feel this way, I haven’t seen any videos or anything that could lead to that assumption. However, we literally cannot deny the fact that these shippers played a major part in ruining the friendship between Eric Nam and Solar.
For those of you who don’t know, Eric Nam and Solar were on a show where they PRETENDED to be married. Many Solar and Moonbyul shippers through hate at Eric Nam for being a “homewrecker” and Eric Nam fans were upset with Solar as well. This got to the point where thy both had to speak on the subject multiple times.There is clear evidence that these delulu shippers already made this situation very uncomfortable, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it got worse.
I don’t know why this has become so normalized but SHIPPING REAL PEOPLE IS NEVER OKAY, ESPECIALLY IF THEYRE NOT OPEN ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY. This has led to literally ruining friendships (Louis and Harry) and basically forcibly outing (Dan and Phil), and those are only two of way too many examples.
There is a difference between having a account specifically for “taekook moments” or youtube videos of “jennie and lisa being flirty”. In my opinion, that type of content is OKAY because the clips are often from videos that are already released to the public. But when you over analyze a relationship and let it affect people in real life, that’s when it goes too far.
The second thing I want to touch on are stans who think it’s okay to constantly bring up their favs sexuality. Yesterday I saw a girl getting mad about someone’s @ being little gay jhope, or something along those lines. The day before I saw TXT fans trying to get rid of a baseless rumor that Yeonjun went to a gay bar with a member of Ateez. I think we can all agree that one persons username or a baseless rumor is not going to affect anyone. But the people constantly calling their idols gay or anything along those lines, are going too far.
All TXT fans know that the members are well aware of what is going on in their fandom a lot. And I can 100% honestly say I do not care if Yeonjun is gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, or anything else, nor is it ANY OF MY BUSINESS.
Even though it shouldn’t be, people’s sexualities is still a sensitive subject, some people still have trouble accepting themselves. Although people talk about not being cis or straight in a positive light, these idols never gave you the okay to discuss their sexualities, despite your intentions. It’s intrusive and disgusting and it gives off the impression that way too many stans don’t know where they stand.
An idol could still be figuring themselves out, trying to come out to people in their personal lives, or maybe they simply just don’t feel comfortable with thousands of people discussing their sexuality and relationships.
At the end of the day, we don’t know these people personally and talking about their sexualities so often that they see it everyday when they go online, is incredibly intrusive. We don’t know these people’s mental well-being.
Why can’t we just let idols be as masculine or as feminine as they want without having to constantly bring up their sexualities?
View Poll
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2020.11.23 19:26 NobleLW I feel uncomfortable with my gf's relationship with her cousin.

So my gf and I are currently long distance (we are currently two months, like 4 months of dating and years of being friends). She's living with her aunt and her cousins (around 21M, 9F, and a 16F thats really immature). So, before she left to the other city I was with her when she called him to discuss how and when they were going to take her. When they were on the phone, she sounded really excited by the thought of living over there and she was talking to him on the phone like two best friends that tease each other around. (important note, she'd told me she didn't want to leave but obviously that wasn't the case).
More context. Her cousin (gonna call him dude) dude has a girlfriend, she's extremely clingy and their relationship is weird, like they breakup on stupid shit and then get back together the day afterwards like it was only an inconvenience. My gf often complains about how she dislikes her a lot, and how she never leaves dude alone and stuff like that. I get that that relationship is like two really close siblings but there's more.
Some time ago, dude and her gf broke up (for a day). My gf and dude and some other guy pretty much had a party outside their house (like family's house, after all quarantine is still going) and after that was done. My gf and I started talking for a while, and we stayed talking up until 2am, and we stopped talking when dude got into the room and started talking to her and to me. We agreed to end the call and I told her "I love you", kinda felt she wasn't going to say it so I said it to gauge her response, and she responded in a low voice "i love you too", perhaps discouraged or something. Maybe she felt uncomfortable saying that in front of her cousin as one normally would, or maybe it wasn't all that normal.
So fast forward to the next day, she wakes up at like 10 and she tells me that she slept at 4 am. Later in the day when we're on a call I ask her why she slept at 4 am and she responds defensively, "How do you know I slept at 4 am?", and I just responded with a you told me; when I ask her what she (really was to find out what they were doing) she responded really annoyed and dry "talking". Something else that really got me uncomfortable about that day was that she started talking to me about a tik tok which she'd seen which got her horny and how she wanted to try it with me, and that she'd already tried it (something about it made it sound like she tried it recently) and when I asked her to tell me, she started putting up excuses, even when there were no excuses she just didn't respond anything, as if wanting to move on to another topic. As if that wasn't enough, when we were talking later on in the day she got serious, and when I asked her what was wrong she didn't tell me anything, like nothing so I hung up and worked out to calm down. When I come back, I call her and she told me really generic stuff that sounded like a half truth, stuff like I've been really stressed out recently and there's some stuff at school (she does get stressed over school, but more so like an annoyance, she usually doesn't care about it a lot) and that was that and we got over it.
The next days I was pretty much asking questions really discretely to find out if anything, happened if anything, and something stupid triggered my trust issues and anxiety (as there was already something on my mind) and I pretty much had a toxic episode, like suddenly accusing her of shit (not related to the topic mentioned above) that had literally no basis. Well, she didn't break up with me somehow, and we were fine after that, obviously she was still a bit freaked out but she decided to let me deal with it (as it's my first relationship and I'm not really completely okay psychologically, as in really bad divorce in childhood). For some days she acted weirdly, and when I asked about the tik tok again she said she forgot, which really really seemed like a lie as she repeated it 3 times in a weird tone.
Something that also got me uncomfortable was that afterwards (like 2 or 3 days after this whole thing) she told me that that day her cousin got back with her gf, and it seemed weird to me that at the time she didn't tell me that (apparently that was why she was acting so weird, as when something stresses her she prefers not to talk about it). She started talking about how she was really mad at him and how he treated her like less and overall for like 2 days half of our conversation was her complaining about him. He literally treated her as an ex that you go to when you break up with your gf and then ignore once you go back. She then said something by the lines of "that's why it'll be better if I turn gay" and I just was like what the fuck.
So today I found out they sometimes sleep in the same bed sometimes, like his room is the one with the least noise (a panic room as she calls it), and sometimes she falls asleep there and when he comes home from her gf he sleeps there as well.
Also something else, yesterday my gf and I were sexting, and usually when she gets very "excited" she has some trouble sleeping and we text for a while, well while that was happening she suddenly stopped.
I mean all this is probably nothing, but it's still super weird and I need to vent and some advice on this please. (also, take into consideration that there's kids in the house and that doing "something" probably isn't something feasible, but I'm not a 100% sure on that).
TLDR: my gf behaves strangely when she's around her cousin and I'm really uncomfortable when she does some things.
Edit: I trust her a lot, before she was my gf she was my friend and I got to know her at school a lot. I really don't think she's the kind of person who would cheat or anything like that, but nonetheless this is kind of weird.
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2020.11.23 05:43 throw373747 (COMING OUT) How do you know if your family is accepting? Or how can you change it?

TLDR at the end !! So I’m bisexual and a minor. and I want to come out to my family because I feel like it will make it less of a surprise if I ever get a gf instead of a bf. but I also don’t want to because of their reactions, or hurting their future expectations.
My mom says she has a lesbian sister(?) and when my dad says smth offensive to the community, she tells him not to say that. I know she accepts the community but I’ve never discussed it w her and I’m not sure if she’s like yk 100%. The only thing questionable she’s said is “I don’t know why they need all those labels, it’s all gay” but she also came from traditional family so I can see why it’s hard to understand but still.
My dad on the other hand is traditional; he is respectful when my gay friend is around and treats him normal. He makes some comments like ‘gay boy’ or ‘never date a boy w long haijeans tighter than yours/wears pink’ as in to say they’re gay. He also started talking “someday when you have a husband/kids” so I know he wants me to have a husband.
I will also be moving close to my both sides of extended family who I haven’t seen in almost my whole life and they are Asian and Mexican and ‘tough’ so I’m not sure if they’d accept “the weird bisexual Cali girl” you know? The extended family part I added bcuz I know my dad would like to be close w them again so it’d be bad if they didn’t like me.
TLDR; mom is like a silent supporter, dad is traditional and has said some homophobic things but treats ppl of the community normal. we will be moving close to both sides of extended family, they seem traditional.
are there any signs that you guys have noticed that show they’d accept you? Or subtle things you’ve done to try to figure it out? or if they weren’t accepting, what did you do/what changed that they did accept you?
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2020.11.23 05:39 throw373747 Are there any signs that your family is accepting?

TLDR at the end !! So I’m bisexual and a minor. and I want to come out to my family because I feel like it will make it less of a surprise if I ever get a gf instead of a bf. but I also don’t want to because of their reactions, or hurting their future expectations.
My mom says she has a lesbian sister(?) and when my dad says smth offensive to the community, she tells him not to say that. I know she accepts the community but I’ve never discussed it w her and I’m not sure if she’s like yk 100%. The only thing questionable she’s said is “I don’t know why they need all those labels, it’s all gay” but she also came from traditional family so I can see why it’s hard to understand but still.
My dad on the other hand is traditional; he is respectful when my gay friend is around and treats him normal. He makes some comments like ‘gay boy’ (when a guy fits the next dialogue) or ‘never date a boy w long haijeans tighter than yours/wears pink’ as in to say they’re gay. He also started talking “someday when you have a husband/kids” so I know he wants me to have a husband.
I will also be moving close to my both sides of extended family who I haven’t seen in almost my whole life and they are Asian and Mexican and ‘tough’ so I’m not sure if they’d accept “the weird bisexual Cali girl” you know? The extended family part I added bcuz I know my dad would like to be close w them again so it’d be bad if they didn’t like me.
TLDR; mom is like a silent supporter, dad is traditional and has said some homophobic things but treats ppl of the community normal. we will be moving close to both sides of extended family, they seem traditional.
are there any signs that you guys have noticed that show they’d accept you? Or subtle things you’ve done to try to figure it out? or if they weren’t accepting, what did you do/what changed that they did accept you?
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submitted by CampyTainted to u/CampyTainted [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 20:35 throwaway8884204 First time poster. Long time commenter. I really, really need some solid advice. Thank you

I am 5'10. White with Blue eyes. I can squat 225. I have a muscular body now and have read the rational male. Here goes.
Hello all,
I am struggling very hard right now. I am 29 years old and work as a teacher. I don't like this career at all and am actually attempting to switch careers to become doctor. I have finished all my prereqs in a postbac and I am now studying for the Mcat. My advisors tell me I have a good shot at getting in as long as I score high enough on this test. My life consists of working and studying thats it.
The reason I have wrote here is because I am facing a huge crisis in my life. I have finally met a women whom I jive with and is very kind with me. She is my age as well and has a good job. We met on a dating app. She is very religious and says no sex and no physical touching or sleeping over until marriage. As someone who is religious (I love the study of God, just not the dogma) I understand her. She wants to save her self for marriage and I respect it.
The fundamental issue is tho, I am not very attracted to her face unfortunately. Her personality is amazing tho, very kind and warm, she laughs at all my jokes and is very friendly. I have never in all my years had a woman who likes to spend this much time with me and/or asks me questions about my life and how I feel. When she walks with me, she walks with me. She holds my arm when we walk. its's crazy, I guess I got used to women being callus towards me. But with her, it's like I am the center of the world. It is a great feeling, but something isn't right. My gut tells me not to be with her.
I grew up poor and sick basically and really had a hard time in life until most recently. In college I fell into homelessness a couple times (due to lack of finances) and had to sleep at friends houses and on university benches and then head off to cross country practice which paid for half my degree. My old man and mom could pay for shit and I was just stacked with student loans, I started teaching because I needed a job with health insurance so I accepted the low pay. However, now I am in a good place financially, it was a long road but I am finally stable. it feels good.
I have faced super bad lung issues my entire life and until recently was very sick and pale. I looked like a concentration camp victim my entire life due to my health condition. I am ethnically 100% northern European and I cannot ever tan. (I am a half ginger) I am now working out at the gym a lot these days and it shows. My social capital is well so/so. I have at least 5 solid male friends that if I needed something that would help me out with whatever. Not financially, we are all middle class basically, but they been my friends since 1st grade. I could have millionaire friends or something but I prefer my mechanic and farmer friends tbh, because we're all tight. (I am just trying to paint a picture of my life)
What I have noticed is that younger more beautiful women I try and talk to are very stand offish and rude at times to me. They could care less if I live or die basically I feel. Whereas older women 26 -32 are very kind to me and ask me out often. I get hit on by ugly, or fat women and gay dudes in public, and often. I would say, I am not great looking tho. I have been described as a normal looking White guy. I know I am not ugly and I am not good looking either.
So I am having a crisis here. The first woman to ever be super kind to me and understanding is also someone is visibly unattractive to me and I fear if I end things with her I will be single at 29, still whilst all my friends are married basically. ( I am from the midwest) I don't want to hurt her, but I also know that she is just trying to get married asap and have a family. Though I do want these things I can't get over that I could (potentially get a woman I find more attractive) I just hate this feeling. I feel like an asshole because I have faced so much rejection in my life and I don't want her to feel that way as well. But when I lay in bed at night and I try to ask my gut if she is my wife, I get a resounding no every time.
I went to my father for advice he tells me "son, if you aren't crazy about her, move on". Then he tells me, "Son, don't worry about these women, the only thing you need to focus on right now is getting a high grade on that Mcat and get into medical school, after that things will settle out." I want to get into medical school so bad and I am so close, and this woman is messing with my mind right now.
So I am thinking I should end things with this woman but it hurts me doing so. My gut tells me that she isn't my wife and I am unattracted to her face but she is so kind and nice to me its crazy. I've never felt someone to be so caring towards me. I am not used to it, honestly. I just don't know what to feel.
So please if anyone can read this and respond I would greatly appreciate it. I am struggling very hard and I could use some advice. I don't know where else to ask this. Thank you for reading, honestly.
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