WebDate dating chatti

Just thought I’d share a little interaction my friend had with Twigs!

2020.11.18 23:08 applewinters Just thought I’d share a little interaction my friend had with Twigs!

TLDR at the bottom.
So I moved to London (don’t live there anymore) in 2015 for university, I lived in student halls and made a good friend in my first year. Our university is divided into several different colleges - each having their own campus or campuses. My roommate used to travel to two of the different campuses for her classes as there were different workshops available in each, I didn’t go to either of her campuses as I was in a different college to her and my course only used its main campus (though you do have the option to go to the different college campus libraries). One of her campuses was based in High Holborn and she went there regularly.
I obviously told my friend I was a huge FKA twigs fan, she wasn’t a massive fan but she liked her aesthetic and followed her on Instagram.
One day she said she saw FKA twigs down an escalator in the underground, she said she tried to get her attention but couldn’t as they were both on opposite sides of the escalator, naturally I didn’t believe her as she had no proof 😂 I was also frustrated as I would have loved to have seen her too aha!
Another day (I can’t remember how long after) my friend comes home all smug/happy and I ask her why she’s so smug, then she tells me this:
My friend saw Twigs AGAIN in High Holborn (not in the underground but outside) and this time she wanted to get proof that she’d seen her! So she went up to her and asked for a photograph. My friend realised her phone had died (her phone had been playing up recently) and drastically asked Twigs if she could get out her laptop to take a photo with her 😂 Twigs asked why and my friend explained (telling Twigs about me and her dead phone) and it made her laugh but she was willing to wait! I can’t remember exactly what else was said but my friend told me she was extremely polite and that it was nice to talk to her (imagine having to wait for someone to load a laptop to take a pic aha). My friend was a very bubbly, chatty and lively person and not afraid to talk to anyone (unlike myself as I am quite the introvert), so I bet she was being real talkative with Twigs (the friend doing most of the talking aha).
Unfortunately I don’t have the photograph as I’m not friends with that friend anymore (which is a shame but it’s my own fault), plus I deleted all my social media and hers is on private as she has a child now. I do remember Twigs looked stunning in the photograph and it had that 2000s web cam -esque quality because it was a cheap laptop.
Just thought you’d enjoy this little story, you best believe I did visit the High Holborn campus a few times in the hope I’d see Twigs but never did!
P.S. I can’t remember the exact dates but it would’ve been either 2015/16, I’m thinking probably 2015 between October and December.
TLDR: My friend saw Twigs twice, first time it was brief (on an underground escalator) and I didn’t believe her, second time her phone died but she asked to take a photo with Twigs on her laptop - Twigs agreed!
submitted by applewinters to FKAtwigs [link] [comments]

2020.11.03 10:38 AdProfessional9918 Adobe XD Portrait UI UX Design list

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submitted by AdProfessional9918 to u/AdProfessional9918 [link] [comments]

2020.07.31 11:56 PopsKrail Longing to talk—bad idea, right?

I’m a 30-yo male. This will be long, so... Tldr is it wise to tell my ex-gf of many years ago—especially now that we’re married to other people—about how sorry I am for how we broke up?
When I first went to college about 12 years ago, I chose the one that my high school girlfriend was going to. A lot of my hs friends were also going to be attending a nearby college, so I followed her there.
I broke up with her the day before freshman year started. Why did this happen? We had been dating for two years in high school, and the summer before freshman year at college, there was a Facebook group for incoming freshmen. On this group I made friends with a different girl. She liked a lot of the same music and films that I did, that my hs gf wasn’t as into. While I didn’t end up dating this girl, it was this interaction that caused me to think, maybe Hs gf and I are not the perfect match. Maybe I’m supposed to allow myself to experience romantic emotion with many different ppl before I decide to perhaps marry.
Hs gf did not take it well. It was a small school so I knew this wouldn’t be the last time we saw each other. This would come back to haunt me. More than once.
One day when i was walking across the quad, another girl who was a year older than me noticed me and looked me up on Facebook. We had a lot of the same interests—music but mostly media—and we would chat on Facebook messenger. It was an obvious connection from the first time we chatted on that platform.
I later found out that the day she saw me walk across the quad, she said to her friend she was sitting with on the grass, “that’s my prince.”
We started dating and doing so much fun stuff together. She introduced me to a lot of new things in terms of movies and stuff like that. I couldn’t believe how well we got along. Me and my Hs gf were both pretty extroverted, but my new gf was comparatively introverted, but importantly still very sharp and funny in conversation. We were magnetic.
Time passed and freshman year was over. I lived many states away so we chatted online over the summer.
Fall Sophomore year comes. I can’t remember how, or why, but I started talking again with my old Hs gf that fall while I was still dating my new gf. At age 19 with girls apparently clamoring to talk to me (I am much taller than average with a symmetrical face, and that’s as far as I’m gonna go in complimenting my own looks), it must have been thrilling to me to have this opportunity to see how things had been going with Hs gf since we last saw each other. We had after all been close for a long time in Hs. I don’t know or remember what the stupid reason was. As far as I remember, nothing was really wrong with me and my gf’s relationship at the time.
One night that fall I was sitting in the passenger seat of Hs gf’s car in the college parking lot. We were talking. I don’t remember about what. Eventually we were holding hands. That’s when my gf and her friends walked by. It was a calamity for her. An absolute calamity for her.
The words I’m trying to use to describe my gf’s feelings at the time are inadequate. She ended up going to the hospital. I did not know about this until much later. If I had known...I like to think I would’ve gone and seen her. Maybe take it back. But I’m so.........so scared to think that maybe 19 yo me still wouldn’t have gone. I just want to go back in time and shake some fucking sense into myself. I’m so...fucking fucked. I know I’m being hard on myself. I know I’m being hard on myself now. I say again, I know I’m being hard on myself. But I deserve worse.
Hs gf and me kinda-sorta got unofficially back together. It was a really shitty time in retrospect. Like I said, we’re both extroverts. We fought all the time and eventually stopped seeing or talking to each other again that same semester. Believe it or not.....this is not the last time I would go back to Hs gf.
Spring of sophomore year brought a new season and a new gf, whom I met in band from the new freshman class below mine. She was a very sweet and nice girl but who still knew how to have fun, and she is leading a very successful life now and I’m happy I knew her. In total we dated for 4 months, into the summer after my sophomore year. This time I didn’t go home but instead stayed in-state to work on campus doing groundskeeping all summer. Guess who else was working on campus that summer and living in town? Aitch ess gee eff. (Hs gf)
There wasn’t really a red-handed situation this time, but my gf knew that it was time for us to break up. My god I’m such a selfish piece of shit. Hs gf and I fool around for about a month afterward, and it ends in a high-octane screaming match again, per usual.
Intermission: I’m so embarrassed about how hard on myself I am about this now at age 30, about how long it took for me to realize how badly Ive treated all my romantic partners in terms of commitment (despite most of my relationships being pretty long-term). I can’t believe how selfish I was. I can just imagine, any of my ex-gf’s or their friends reading this, and thinking, “uh yeah you’re selfish. Of course you are. You always have been.” Like it’s my defining character trait. And I don’t know how to fix that. And that’s part of why I’m writing this. Because they don’t know how just full of regret, that i am.
Back to 10 years ago. Junior year of college is spent entirely abroad in europe.
When I get back for senior year, my first college gf, the one who called me her prince, had switched schools (and majors—this is important) but was still in town. Her friends were still around and in town too, and I went and saw one of our mutual friends who had gotten her own apartment. I was also living off campus with my younger brother (so effectively alone, since our friend groups didn’t really overlap).
I had been single since breaking up with band gf two summers previous, not counting a handful of flings while studying abroad. Prince gf was dating someone new who looked suspiciously a lot like me, but was actually pretty introverted, like prince gf is. I don’t know him that well but he seems pretty smart if dull. He also came from a much richer background/family than me, but I’m pretty sure that has nothing to do with how they met or why they became attracted to each other. I still feel like it’s worth mentioning though. But personality wise we’re really not similar at all. And in fact... they got married about four years ago or so and are married to this day.
Getting distracted describing prince gf’s now husband—let’s rewind to fall my senior year. Me, prince gf, and our mutual friends started hanging out together a lot more often that fall. We went downtown to drink a lot. Prince gf’s now husband was pretty much never there with us. Over christmas break, prince gf and I were talking online a lot again. Prince gf’s birthday is actually in December, and we were online together that day. That’s correct: her now-husband did not have any plans to do anything with her on her birthday that day. Treating her as an afterthought, if he was even thinking about her at all. I remember we were in a turntable.fm web page/quasi-chat room together and it was my turn to choose the song, and in the chat I said, “this one goes out to [prince gf]!” She sent a smiley in chat. I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget that moment.
Second semester senior year. We resume going downtown every weekend to drink with mutual friends. I should clarify: these mutual friends are chiefly prince gf’s original roommates from before I was even a freshman, so she trusts them completely. One night as we’re going home, drunk as fuck, me and prince gf start holding hands as we’re walking. Our mutual friends are behind us and see this. They bring it up to me later and we all chalk it up to being really drunk. And we were! But it still didn’t feel wrong. It felt right.
Another weekend out. We’re back at mutual friend’s apartment after drinking. We’re watching a movie. Mutual friends leave or go to bed. It’s just me and prince gf. And we have sex. It’s been over 3 years since we dated at this point.
Another weekend out. Mutual friends need to step out for some reason, leaving me and prince gf alone in their apartment again. We have sex before they come back.
Eventually prince gf starts coming to my apartment to hang out and have sex throughout the rest of the semester, and let me remind you she’s still “dating” my smarter if duller doppelgänger, ie, her now husband, this whole time. One pretty much has no choice but to put “dating” in scare quotes here because it’s clear he wasn’t showing her any interest. I’m honestly not sure why they kept dating.
Another intermission: I’ve been thinking about all this for about a month now, and typing this out has just made me realize.............why did I never ask about it? Why didn’t I see if there was an opening to be with prince gf forever?? The answer of course, now that I think about it, is obvious: I’m a selfish piece of shit. Moving on!
Immediately after graduating I get a new gf—four years younger than me—and we date on and off for quite a while, almost 2 years, while I get my start in the working world. This gf in terms of personality was closer to my Hs gf.
It was when I graduated and got this new gf that Prince gf and I stopped having sex, because of course I was no longer single. But we stayed in touch.
It is now 6 years ago, or 2 years after I graduated college and broke up with that just mentioned gf. I’m living in a housing room share situation. Prince gf and I agree to hang out at my place one time. But this time, when we’re in my room, she kinda gets a worried look and leaves almost as soon as she got there, not more than 10 minutes. I understand her decision of course, because she’s still dating that guy this whole entire time, her now husband. And I guess, in that moment, she decided she would fare better with him.
Look, she’s not wrong. remember I mentioned she switched majors after switching schools (private>public)? Had we stayed together, she would have had a lot more debt and a much more useless degree. So it’s almost like, was that what was supposed to happen...? (I hate to think that something like debt or socio-economic status should have such a huge hand in deciding who ends up with whom as we grow older...but here we are.) I also mentioned the family background difference thing between me and her now husband. And hell even when I hang out with them this very year, in 2020, I see a dynamic between them that, at least on the surface, looks special and unique. But what was with their stagnation in between? Just how much was he ignoring her? And for how long was that lameness in their relationship continuing after we stopped having sex after I graduated?
In all this time, I don’t think we ever spoke about the first breakup when we were actually a dating couple. About the time she went to the hospital. About how she felt then and how i now believe I should have felt.
Let’s talk about my wife, for the first time in this post. We met in college, freshman year, and she was dating someone else that entire time, but we were pretty good acquaintances that entire time as well, sharing a lot of classes. She actually married the guy she was dating during college.
5-6 years ago, my wife and her then-husband asked me if I wanted to move into a room share situation with them. I had (and have) a lot of college debt and had a low-paying job that worked second shift, so I also had next to no friends. So of course I accepted.
It would prove to be the downfall of my now wife’s first marriage. I actually got them jobs at the place I was working at, and my wife and her husband’s shifts didn’t usually overlap. So my wife and me were home alone together a lot.
One time her ex-husband came home and caught us in my bed red handed. Let me be clear: I do NOT get off on getting caught doing that stuff and it was pretty traumatizing, I’m sure 10000x more so for him. It had been a little over a year since we all moved in together. I immediately moved out into my own 1-br apartment, thankfully having gotten a pretty good pay bump at work recently to facilitate my ability to live alone while paying off student debt. It was still tight though. And still very sad.
Many months after they divorced, my wife and I got in touch for the first time in a while and then continued to see each other. Eventually i said, let’s just get married since we’re seeing each other all the time now. And we did that 3 years ago. our student debt and it being her second marriage meant for a very small ceremony: just immediate family.
We’ve been having a lot of problems lately. Even though we’re both kinda chatty and lean extrovert, she is an extremely sensitive individual due to her traumatic upbringing. Most days I don’t have the patience for her mood swings. It was really, really, really bad our first year of marriage. Now in our third year, there is still love, but also still a lack of understanding on my part as to why she can’t get past her interpersonal issues with me. We never seem to agree on anything. And she has embarrassed me in public, in front of friends, more than once. Not in a ragging me way, but in a public meltdown mood swing way. Sometimes she acts more like a child than even my Hs gf did. She is in therapy. We have tried couples therapy as well but due to a scheduling issue never went beyond one session.
My wife and I’s birthdays are very close to each other’s, and we just celebrated our 30th a little while ago at prince gf’s house with all our mutual friends. It was the first time in quite a while that I had seen prince gf, and along with turning 30, it caused me to start to think about all this. And think about all this I have been doing for about the past month.
Listen, i understand that problems with my current marriage is of course gonna result in a bunch of rosy red glasses on all my previous ones, especially if I’m still friends to this day with prince gf. But I still feel like a piece of shit about what happened. And I want her to know how sorry I am, even though it doesn’t mean we’re suddenly gonna destroy each other’s current marriages and run back to each other. That would be evil. But for some reason I still want her to know. That I am so sorry for how I treated her.
I really don’t think it’s a good idea to work up the courage to broach this subject out of nowhere with her. I’m sure she does not feel this way about what happened anymore, or about me. It very much feels like a 10-year delayed case of “what goes around comes around” in terms of the pain suffered. I’d much rather try to bring it up tangentially, but the hard part is that we don’t really talk one on one anymore in the first place.
But maybe I can tell one of her friends, who has also been my friend for all this time (10+ years)? And through the grapevine, she could find out that I’m so sorry and that I hope she forgives me for being so selfish. Maybe the fact that we all still hang out together, is her way of forgiving me. But for some reason i still have this deep aching desire to want to prove to her, and our mutual friends, that I recognize my past selfishness and feel immense remorse over it, and that I’m a piece of shit for taking so long, and needing to experience my own rocky marriage, to arrive to it. How do I redeem myself from such a self-interested journey?
PS no one in this story has kids. I’m not really interested in having them. Kinda surprised prince gf hasn’t had any yet either.
submitted by PopsKrail to Advice [link] [comments]

2020.06.13 17:33 tootingjo New update from the 'scam' site

There's a new update, as badly worded as the rest, saying Fenn has no motive for a hoax chest and to have some respect. For what it's worth I think the story outlined on https://forrestfenntreasure.com/ about the sale of the chest's location is real, for the following reasons.
1) The site publically said they had a bid they'd accepted in mid-May. They said they were accepting no more bids. So how did this scam actually work if it closed contact with people back then? If someone was scammed in mid-May what good reason is there for any scam victim or victims to stay quiet still? Why let this site post further false updates if you were ripped off? It would be so easy to give an anonymous tip-off about being defrauded to any Fenn blog. Why not clear this up and prove it was a scam at a time where Fenn is all over the news... But this didn't happen. Or, are we suggesting the scammers were bored and just gave up in mid-May? That's a really, really, bad scam. It's a scam that doesn't seem to want money. There's no reason to say they don't want any more bids back in May, unless this was real.
2) The most important point... This simply can't be a scam because ALL the power was with the buyer. If you made a bid you were put in touch with an attorney who would sort a contract so you'd see proof of the chest's existence. Then the buyer chose an escrow service to hold the money... Escrow is the safe way to do a deal with someone you don't trust. This means the sellers don't get the money UNTIL the buyer is completely satisfied with their purchase of the chest. Escrow is a really common way to trade with somebody you don't know. The money is held, protected legally, and not released until the deal is done to your satisfaction. You can't really scam through escrow, it's a cash transfer method designed explicitly to protect people from scams.
3) Selling the location of the chest is a smart move. It's particularly smart if it was hidden in a location where a find would lead to a claim from the landowner. Eg. A national park. These guys say their attorney advised handling it this way. That simply looks like an attorney who has pointed out problems, and found a way to get his client's cash without dealing with these location issues.
4) The timing of Forrest's announce fits perfectly with the sale date mentioned on this site, which was mid-May. A couple of weeks later we get the announcement from Fenn.
5) The tone of Forrest's announcement also fits the story. Fenn didn't congratulate the finder, why not? Well, why would he, if they handled their find this way? They cared more about money than telling Fenn they found his chest months ago.
6) Fenn backtracking on further details also fits. The point that Fenn hoped to release information then couldn't might fit the complexities of a buyer who is not the finder. I imagine the buyer would be very rich, maybe an art collector, maybe even someone a bit shady who's prepared to take this odd route to acquire the chest. And it's quite likely they would want minimal publicity and would try to call the shots now. They are also likely to have a lot of legal expertise and negotiation tactics to get what they want. Perhaps the buyer doesn't want ANY information out there? He just wants the chest, and maybe he likes being the only one to know the location and poem solution? After all, the writer on the site said he paid extra to buy the silence of the actual finders. Just look at the history around the ownership of valuable art to see how much secrecy and shadiness there is around people who collect valuable things.
7) The finder is "shy" according to the limited news we have available. The site writer mentions that the original finder wanted a book or film deal, but the buyer offered more for non-disclosure. It's human nature to want to show off a find, the site writer shows this with his point about books and films... Yet, here we are with Fenn saying no details will be given about the finder. It's certainly not in the wealthy buyer's interest to say how they got the treasure if it was bought in this way. I imagine in the collectible art market mystery and secrecy can add value. A future sale might have the legend of the secret location attached, plus the mystery of how it was aquired. It's likely that the owner of the chest can't succeed in keeping Fenn quiet on this point.... But I can see that he might spend a week trying. So what would that negotiation entail? Maybe he'd offer to pay Fenn not to release the solution to the poem. Maybe Fenn is thinking about starting a new hunt with the money offered, or giving it to charity... Or, maybe Fenn will discuss things with the buyer and then say no, and we get the solution and location reveal... But the point is, this delay might fit the story.
8) There are lots of small details on the site that suggest it was set up by people who know and love this treasure hunt. There is even a nice touch in saying they've left something valuable where the treasure was found. If they are scammers they seem to have an understanding side. They give a few nods to how the community is feeling right now, they talk about ideas for a new hunt, and they write a post sticking up for Fenn when he's accused of creating a hoax. I don't recall anyone who writes a Nigerian Prince email showing similar care for the public they intend to defraud.
9) Lots of people are dismissing the site for having typos, not being perfect english etc. It reads to me as no better or worse than many reddit, facebook or forum posts. I get chatty emails from friends written with the same kind of lazy english. Who says the friend of the treasure finder has to be a writer of web copy? The site had one job, as it says, 'a car doesn’t need to be shiny to get you to your destination.' If this was a scam designed to extract a great deal of cash from stupid millionaires you might even think it would make more effort with the appearance and writing style.
10) Multi-millionaires tend to not fall for website scams. They have advisors, attorneys, they're smart. This was deliberately targetting people who would be unlikely to fall for any such scam. Plus the site is upfront in mentioning all the things that would protect their 'scam targets' like contracts, attorneys, escrow. So I just don't see how this scam was particularly likely to work.
I hope I'm wrong about all of this. I would love Fenn to announce details of a finder who solved the poem properly and found the treasure himself in a straightforward way. I'd be happy to see details about how and where it was, along with a perfectly reasonable reason for this delay. Let's hope this is all coming. But lots of people are saying this is playing out in an odd way, while ignoring the explanation that might fit exactly why this is so odd.
submitted by tootingjo to FindingFennsGold [link] [comments]

2020.02.20 04:13 Swingalingadingdong Advice on finding partners and my situation wanted!!

Edit update: this is an old post and no longer relevant to my situation. It is an interesting insight to the difficulties of opening up a marriage though, and to my history. People also tend to read this post as it being about me and my wife, when actually it was about how difficult it is to find extra partners that will fit into the dynamic well. I was frustrated that I'd got nowhere, and that my wife seemed to be settling for something that wasn't ideal. I decided to stop directly trying to find partners, and to put that time into being more chatty and friendly, and that has led to me making quite a few good friendships, which I actually feel is more rewarding, plus who knows maybe one of those friendships might lead somewhere one day? As for my wife and things with her fwb: their difficulties getting along caused them to drift apart, and she doesn't seem to be too fussed about finding someone else.
Original post:
So me (M29) and my wife agreed to open things out in our relationship a while back. Things have been slow for me, I've not met anyone in real life. I have had some exciting conversations over the web that where at least exciting and fun while they lasted, but none of them turned into meeting anyone - often because of distance or circumstances meaning we couldn't meet up. I'm not too sure about having online profiles on dating sites, or anything else where monogamous people who might know me might find out and not understand it or think I'm trying to "cheat", and I just don't have many opportunities to meet new people and find out if they are comfortable with non-monogamy.
Meanwhile, my wife has met a guy, who doesn't live near us, but is up for travelling so he's visited us here and they've stayed together in hotels a few times - the thing is they seem to argue a fair bit, so it's not really what I'd imagined or wanted for her. Both stubborn people and have got waaaay more invested in each others lives, than I ever expected a non-nesting relationship to get. They also seem to want to keep their relationship more private from me than I'd expected - he has never acknowledged to me that they are in a relationship, and she will tell me that they've slept in the same bed but swears blind they've never actually gone further than kissing. It is believable, but a bit odd - perhaps she keeps getting nervous or doesn't feel comfortable enough with it to go through with it despite wanting it enough to keep trying to??? Maybe she's doing a very slow build up to it, and is just cuddling? It kinda looks like she doesn't want to admit to me that she's having fun with him. When she's staying the night with him, I want her to be having an amazing time, otherwise well whats the point of her being there and not back here with me???

Any help would be appreciated!!
submitted by Swingalingadingdong to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]

2019.10.25 19:20 CrimsonClubs Selected Reviews for Liquorice Flavoured Love Potion

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Five Stars
By Niel on August 10, 2019
Great product! Just what I needed.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ AMAZING
By Lianne on August 28, 2019
Cannot reccomend strongly enough!
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ Top quality, simply awesome.
By Josey on September 2, 2019
This was life-changing. Phenomenal. It beat every expectation I had and then some. Honestly, I was sceptical at first seeing the price, but it works better than the name-brand version. I’ll probably pick-up a second for my daughter (and who knows maybe I’ll buy another one for myself, haha!)
★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Danger, poison, side-effects, urgent, this is fatal!
By Kimberly on September 12, 2019
Verified Purchase
Please, please, please, please, please read this!
It’s all I can do. I can’t get them to remove this item from the store page. I’ve tried reporting it online a hundred times but nothing happens. Maybe they don’t care. The police won’t take it seriously either. Just please, even if you don’t read this. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.
Don’t fall in love with love.
Love is cruel, ugly, hateful, and blind. Love is coarse and bitter like the ground coffee you find in the trash. Love chokes, strangling every joyful pulse from your veins. People love the illusions, or delusions, of love. But anybody who has seen love, purified and distilled, would know love’s true awfulness and horrors, and above all its foolishness.
You know the saying: “You can fool some people all the time, and all people some of the time?” Well sometimes we’re all fooled by love.
For the former 16 year old me, I was a fool for a guy. His name is Adrien Mathers, and back in high school he was my dirty blond dream walking the halls, the faint scent of roasted walnuts in his wake. In my eyes he was perfect. He was smart but not bookishly reserved, athletic minus the bruising jock attitude, funny without being a shameless class clown. (Of course, his visible muscle tone and high cheekbones certainly contributed, but so did the cute single dimple from his confident and constant half-smile.)
Okay, this may seem irrelevant to the issue at hand, but I swear to you all this is important to understand the danger of this ‘love-potion’.
Or, I don’t know, maybe I just need some place to vent and mourn… Confess. If there’s one thing I’m good at its throwing myself a pity-party.
Anyway, what stole my dumb heart above all was, despite being one of the popular guys in school, Adrien was exceedingly kind. He only had nice things to say about everybody, never participating in gossip and back-biting. He was so nice, he made everybody else around him nicer. For example there was a special needs student, Isaac, and while at the start of the year everybody either teased him or did their best to ignore him, Adrien actually took the time to chat with Isaac. Not ironically or with ulterior motives. Just genuinely striking up a conversation. Asking him how it was going, about his interest. Normal stuff. Everyday he did this. Slowly, people stopped teasing Isaac, and, as the months passed, more and more people began to be friendly too, wishing Isaac a good day or to tell them one his many ‘space facts’ that Isaac knew off hand.
That’s how Adrien was, he brought out the good in those around him by virtue of the good in him. And I melted for the fantasy he’d find the good in me. Someday he’d take me away beneath the stars in his used Saturn Ion, his kisses exploring the anticipation along my neck, his confident hands extending around my midsection before tentatively reaching under my shirt and also under my, well…
At the time, that was pure fantasy. I was certain Adrien didn’t even know my name back when I first started crushing on him. Or the rest of that year for that matter. Luckily the goddess of love and fate must have heard my prayers, because Adrien and I were assigned as lab partners in our junior year chemistry class.
That semester was magical. To me at least, it seemed like we hit it off immediately. We worked great together. I did most of the planning and note taking while he had no problems lighting the Bunsen burners and mixing the reagents. All the while we’d be laughing having fun.
We started talking more outside of class too, even if we always had to start talking about chemistry first.
However our conversations were never stilted or awkward and we’d soon be discussing deep topics like our fights with our parents and the reasons why we both wanted to leave our hometown. I just hated the bitterly cold winters here, but he wanted to leave because he never wanted to feel like his home was stuck and glued in one place and so he imagined he’d always keep moving places every few years. “I just want the freedom of it, y’know?” His nose scrunched when he said the word ‘freedom’ and I felt he meant the word differently than how others used the term.
Eventually though, the semester was almost over, meaning I wouldn’t have an excuse to talk to him anymore.
I gathered what tepid courage I could and I asked the question, “After the test… do you want to go see a movie? Together?”
He blinked a moment, “Like a date?”
“Yeah.” I confirmed.
He half-cocked his smile, “Okay then.”
It was just that easy. My legs nearly buckled when I made it around the corner but the butterflies swirling around my head made it all worth it.
And that first date was incredible. He held me through the entire movie, and as he dropped me off at my house, he stared at me until I stopped talking. Then he kissed me. His kiss left a trembling need on my lips long after we parted.
We made plans for another date immediately.
That one didn’t go… quite as well. We were making out at his house, his parents weren’t home. Although I was nearly sick with the bundle of nerves in my stomach, I had readied myself for going farther than I ever had before.
Suddenly though, Adrien stopped. I couldn’t figure out why. He cut the date short there. When we spoke again after that night, he told me the most crushing words I’d ever heard. He sighed and said, “I just feel… we are better as friends. I’m sorry, I tried but I just don’t see you as more than that.”
I never told anybody about our fleeting time together, or the pain I felt. Even long after I never said a word. There’s a million break up songs out there. Each can explain the emotions I felt better than I could. Go over to the itunes store or spotify and buy a couple. You don’t want to hear more from me. Although part of me refused to put the pain into my own words because if I said exactly how I felt then it really would be over and no matter how much ‘healing’ I did over the months and years, I didn’t want us to be over.
Even if that is what we were.
We were little more than acquaintances when high-school ended.
Anyway, life happened after that. Got accepted into college. Drifted away from my fair-weather friends. Made one or two better friends. During my studies I dated twice. The first relationship fizzled. Not a lot of chemistry besides my crippling desperation when we first met at a party. The second guy I dated, Nate, we had chemistry all right. Too much in fact. Which is why it blew up in a fiery spectacle, much like a plane full of TNT crashing into a fireworks factory, fun to witness at a distance, not so fun while screaming aboard the disintegrating aircraft.
During this time I was doing my teaching practicum and I met Mrs. Jody Renyk. She was upbeat, gregarious, positive attitude, thoughtful, a teacher loved by all the kids, always putting others before herself, a mentor that I quickly did my best to model myself after. To me she was almost a saint in her selfless attitude.
However after a few short months I’d discover her one flaw. Selfishness of a different sort ate away her body. A greed called cancer. She wouldn’t survive the year.
Where we meet Adrien again is at Mrs. Renyk’s funeral.
During the sermon, Jody’s brother mentioned how the Mathers family put Jody through school, but my brain didn’t link the Surname together until the reception, where I spotted Adrien comforting the much older brother of Jody.
I tapped him on his shoulder. “Hey stranger.” Fortunately, I had chosen my more stylish black dress of the two hung in my closet.
Adrien turned to me in his well fitting three piece suit and his eyes seemed to brighten, “Kim?”
“Still stuck in this town I see.”
“Nah,” he shook his head, “just here for the funeral.”
I knew Adrien travelled around a lot, but I’d forgotten in that instant rush to say hello.
After that the conversation was breezy, like summer. Just like I remembered it. I told him how Jody was a role model for me. He told me how Jody was his babysitter for, like, ten years, hence the comment about his family putting her through school. The conversation was getting more animated but with the funeral going on around us, we instead agreed to meet later that week for coffee before his flight left.
Doubts crept in almost immediately. After a few minutes I’d convinced myself that I’d imagined the renewed romantic chemistry. The sparks were sputters. Flirting was just friendliness. Those hints of desire were merely shimmers of a polite facade. But other than bite my cuticles and nervously rock my legs, I didn’t know what to do. I’d be meeting with him soon. It was literally my last chance at a second chance.
So… I started drinking a bottle of leftover tequila and set off online in search of answers. In a few short hours, my browser was clogged with Facebook profiles, self help blogs, and more cheesy dating advice than my hairdresser on particularly chatty day. It all seemed so useless and fake. None of this would actually work.
On a whim, I decided to search for a “love potion.” Years ago, I went through a bit of an alternative religion, wiccan phase. Which is why I’d expected silly home brews of supermarket spices and willow leaves, which would vary in quality between an adequate tea and a putrid sludge. And I did find results like that, along with movie references, tacky perfumes, and a whole bunch of other crap.
A few pages in though, and I was intrigued by one particular link. “Liquorice Flavoured Love Potion.” The name was less arresting than the web address. The fact that it was being sold by this very website made me think, Don’t they have standards? They can’t actually be selling a fake love potion. I convinced myself it was probably nothing more than a candy with the “Liquorice Flavoured” appendage, but tipsy me was curious.
No kitschy hearts or playful colours greeted me, just the art-deco bottle with sharp glass lines and a black fluid within.
This was a minor shock as I’d pictured sweet red liquorice not black. More than that though, as you can see the product description above makes it seem completely sincere. “Force your love to give you love by feeding them this love potion,” was the line that particularly stood out to me. Normally, love potions describe themselves in more poetic and saccharine terms. To see one bluntly advertise how you always imagine a ‘love potion’ is suppose to work was refreshing and… exhilarating.
My cursor hovered over the ‘add-to-cart’ button. Except the price was fairly steep for what amounted to little more than brief thrill. It’s not like it would actually work. Besides, it probably wouldn’t arrive in time anyway. And how would I get him to drink it anyway? Liquorice wasn’t exactly an inconspicuous taste, he’d know if I slipped it into his coffee.
That’s when I clicked.
All those valid reasons were no match for serendipity. See, it was in that moment I remembered Adrien liked liquorice because he and his circle of friends once had a silly argument about whether liquorice was ‘the worst thing we were ever tricked into believing was candy’ or ‘a deliciously and unfairly maligned treat of the gods’. Adrien was firmly on the pro-liquorice side of that particular debate.
He likes liquorice and I found a liquorice flavoured love potion. That’s kind of like fate right? Plus, the loudly advertised free shipping was hard to beat too.
The class I had been teaching was outside for recess when I got a lesson of how fate really works. “Sorry, I have to leave town early.” The message read. I wasn’t even upset really. In a way I was relieved. Here I’d been stressing out like a stupid little girl over a simple cup of coffee. Some adult I was.
My flight leaves tomorrow morning. Can we meet tonight?”
And just like that I was a girl again with hope. And pressure. Lots and lots of pressure. This would be my one and only chance and I knew I had no magic on my side.
I rushed home to prepare. When I spotted the plain brown package patiently expecting me at my doorstep, I didn’t even consider it was the Love Potion. From my tequila buzz, I barely remembered ordering it, but I certainly didn’t expect it to be delivered so soon. In the past I’ve paid for the princely leisure of two day shipping on a few occasions but I’ve never had anything arrive in under 24 hours before.
After I peeled away the tape, cardboard, and excessive layers of bubble wrap I found the ornate bottle delicately inlayed within a form-fitting casement of crunchy styrofoam. Curiously, the liquid inside was clear and not the jet black like in the picture. Although I’d solve this colourful discrepancy soon, later I’d only have unanswered theories gnawing at my mind to explain why.
Wrapped around the deco neck of the art-deco bottle was frayed twine linking the bottle to a round paper tag. On it were these three simple instructions:
      1. Mix a drop of your blood in with the love
      2. Give this now activated love to the intended target
      3. Enjoy the love!
There were no ingredients list, or warnings, or even a brand logo.
The first step was what gave me pause. A drop of blood struck me as hard-core. Which was fine by me, except it also seemed unsanitary?
Still, I only had a bit of time before needing to head out for the coffee shop, so I got a pin from my cupboard, ready to do it right there and then. I popped open the cork cap like a bottle of champagne, and was blasted by the distinct scent of liquorice.
“Here goes nothing,” I said as I pricked my finger and squeezed a single drop of blood. On my skin the scarlet bulge swelled then fell into the clear liquid below. Immediately on contact thin black roots grew sinking from the surface and slowly burrowed to the bottom of the glass. Without mixing or shaking, spindles of blackness jutted out from these roots like the rime of frost. They intersected and crisscrossed until all crystal light was woven shut and nothing but a solid impenetrable darkness remained.
“Huh… neat.” Is all the gravitas I could spare for that damning event.
I re-capped the bottle and tossed it casually in my hand bag.
We met at the coffee shop, he with a simple white button down shirt and striped tie, me with a little black skirt and secretive black bottle. I did my best to pry a passionate conversation from him. That’s what I read, is guys like it when a gal shows an interest listening to his interests. It seemed to be going quite well, he was getting animated and excited, swinging his arms in exaggerated chopping motions, although to be honest the stories of his travels weren’t that interesting, not second hand anyway. After the first story, hearing about a traditional meal with colourful locals gets old whether it is in central Asia, Chile, or Uganda.
Still, the evening was progressing so well I forgot all about the ‘Love Potion.’ It was sometime after sunset though when Adrien glimpsed his watch and then began checking it repeatedly every minute or so. “Umm…” I hesitated, “Do you need to leave soon?”
He rubbed his neck apologetically, “Y-yeah. Early morning flight and all that. But it’s nice catching up like this. We should do it again sometime.”
I panicked a bit. “No no.” I stammered practically jumping from my uncomfortable seat. “You can’t leave just yet.”
He was surprised by my abrupt outburst. “Well, it’s not like I was planning on leaving right this second.”
“Let me just, they sell this really great Kombucha here. You’ve tried Kombucha before, right?”
“Yeah, it’s okay I guess.”
“Then you got to try this one. It’s the best.” He stared at me in mild bewilderment. “Trust me. My treat. Let me just go—” Using both hands I pointed toward the barista behind the till and wandered off before he could object. After a single step, I twisted back around awkwardly snatching up my bag as I trotted to the counter.
I was quickly devolving into a flustered mess. How could this be ending so soon? I thought. Everything had felt like it had gone great, like it was fate fixing her mistake. What happened? Was it something I said? I barely remember saying anything.
While I ordered, fishing my credit card out for payment, the black vial clanked softly against my keys.
If the barista noticed me spike Adrien’s kombucha tea, she gave no indication.
“And, I’m back. Here, try it. Don’t be worried if it tastes a little… funky. It’s suppose to.”
He took a sip and squinted his eyes. “This tastes like… liquorice.” He nodded, “I like liquorice,” and took another big sip.
I let out a sigh I didn’t know I was holding in.
Nothing seemed to happen though. There was no dramatic sound or cue. Adrien carried on like normal, checking his watch periodically. Dim sunset hues commingled with the soft interior lighting over the plain wooden tables. The clatter and tinkle of cups and mugs accompanied the racket back and forth of other couples talking as usual. No magic appeared to save me.
Disappointment gripping my throat, our own conversation drifted listlessly to the one subject I promised myself I wouldn’t breach.
“Why did you… back in school…” I shifted in my rigid seat, adjusting a troublesome crease in my skirt. “Why did you break up with me?”
Adrien sputtered on his kombucha. “U-u-uh…”
“You never, really, gave me a proper answer. Just said something about how it wouldn’t work out. How you had this feeling. But back then you didn’t describe it.” My head knows how impossible it is to describe a feeling, but my heart hated what my head said. Some say heartbreak and its ache is bitter like that. Except it never tasted bitter to me. Astringent, yes, it tastes like choking down harsh medicine that will never cure the sickness eating away inside, but definitely not bitter.
If anything, a broken unrequited love is the opposite. Too sweet.
It’s an overly syrupy saccharine taste that immediately promises to fulfil your hungering desire soon, soon you’ll have what you crave, like other sweet things before it promises you’ll be made whole again soon. Quickly though the hope of those promises is betrayed with a burnt rubber toxicity at the back of the palette as the synthetic and fake lie of that sweetness sears into the back of your throat. Once swallowed, the taste continues to ferment, unsettled, a bubbling fizz, belching up at the slightest jostle, a yeasty malty corpse of the sugary fruit that once was as it decays and moulders. In the end you’re still left with the lingering aroma of dessicated flowers left to rot untended in the heat of a wilted sun, or the dusty scent of unused spices uselessly cluttering the chambers of your heart, a mouthwatering sour reminder of nourishment you’ll never have.
In other words, heartbreak is it’s own flavour. Words are made inadequate as much as you are left to feel.
“I…” Adrien was still struggled giving shape to his answer. He looked squarely at me and I could feel myself drowning in the cruel sympathy watering his eyes. “Kim, I—I wasn’t… who you needed me to be. I—”
It’s not you it’s me? Is that it? Don’t give me that bullshit!” I slapped my palms flat clapping on the table. A few other patrons stopped and stared. So what I said next I barely whispered. “Be honest. Tell me you weren’t attracted to me. I was too ugly. Too weird. Too awkward. Too annoying. Because that’s the truth isn’t it? You just didn’t want me.”
As long and often I thought those words, never before had I said them out loud, even as quietly as I did. For what it’s worth, I didn’t cry then. Not a single tear was shed. No, all my tears dried long before that moment of release. Actually it felt pretty good to say it. Ripping off a scab is often a most pleasant wound.
The wound which struck Adrien’s expression was too much to bear though.
“Goodbye Adrien.” I bolted, escaping. Behind me Adrien protested but I didn’t stop. I didn’t stop when I made it to the exit. I didn’t stop out on the cold shivering street. I only stopped as I fumbled for my keys in front of my shitty Subaru.
“Kim wait,” his hand hooked my elbow but I shook it off immediately. “Kim, just, listen. Please?”
Without turning I stopped.
“Look… I was attracted to you, okay? I… liked spending time with you, talking to you, I mean— I, back then I could even see a future for us together.”
Each daggered word carved into my back. “Then why—?”
“Because that’s not who I am Kim. It’s not. I wanted you and you wanted me but— it wasn’t what I needed. I needed more than-than-than…”
There was a heavy sigh from over my shoulder. “Yeah… I said I saw our future. And… I saw us slowly grow apart. Two strangers who were never really that similar to begin with. I saw the rage and resentment I’d feel for you tying me down, holding me back to this place.”
“I would’ve left this place with you.”
“Would you, Kim? Would you really? Your idea of ‘leaving town’ was to eventually move to the city. Your version of ‘travel’ was an annual trip to the coast or maybe the occasional Caribbean resort.” There was the low crackle of a scuffing shoe on asphalt. A step closer. “Kim, as much as it hurts, we’re not the people the other needs.”
“Ex-except you didn’t even try. You’re just a-a-a coward! That’s what you are. A coward.”
“A coward, huh?” There was a dry chuckle. “Yeah. That’s just who I am. So don’t you think you deserve someone better?”
“But I~,” I wanted to argue, change his mind. I wanted to spit insults, hurt him in all the ways I hoped he’d stop hurting me. I wanted to scream at him how he was an idiot, how there was no one better than him. Of course my mind was falling into itself, my senses telling me to finally move on despite being trapped by the senselessness of never letting go or getting a grip but given nothing to hold on to. There’s nothing lonelier than being apart from the person right beside you.
Only then did I cry.
Each sob folded over me like a rolling wave and as tears washed the hope from my eyes I felt a gentle touch on my back. “Hey, hey, hey now… don’t cry.”
I kept crying.
“Please Kim, don’t-don’t do this.” There was now genuine pain in the once soft edges of Adrien’s tone. His hand slipped up my shoulder and he tugged me around spinning. “Kim, c’mon, look at me.”
Instead I stared down at our entwined shadows.
“Kim… please…” He lifted my chin up so I had no choice but to face him. Yet through my sorrow shimmered vision, all I saw was his blurry shape. “Will this make you happy…?” His lips met mine in a tender caress.
I jumped back jolting. “What—! What are you doing?! Why’re y—”
“I love you Kim. I can’t bear to see you upset.” He leaned in again.
This time, I pressed in closer. The depth of our kiss was deeper than the well of all my doubts. After a moment of clumsy shy pecks, quickly we found our rhythm. Our lips grew to fill the gap between us. Our tongues drew patterns words couldn’t express. Each time one of us lulled the other returned for more. On and on until time meant nothing, eclipsed by an infinite connection.
How I wish we could’ve stayed in that complete moment forever. Back then, I didn’t even consider the subtle liquorice aroma lingering on his breath.
We barely spoke on the trip back to my place. My keys struggled scratching to find the lock as we entwined at my door. Together we pressed inside not pausing at the barrier of our clothes. He peeled my skirt up like a candy wrapper and I tugged his tie down like a leash. Embraced in each other’s arms our bodies braced for every thrust. Sheets slid and tangled around uselessly in my drive to push further into his passion. It all tore away as we spread naked on the plane of the bed, tumbling to the floor, spinning against the wall dizzy in a haze of lust. Dancing to the tune of heartbeats, the vibrations of sex, the chorus of “Yes,” and “More,” and “Oh,” and “Ah.” Hungry for touch, taste of skin, hands slick with the other’s perspiration. Again and again we came arriving where we began leaving our senses again and again.
That night we shared no sleep only the physical heat of our collective need.
When I awoke mid-day I found Adrien watching me from his side of the bed. “Morning.” He said, his grin half-cocked.
“Mmmh— morning.” I replied, bleary eyed and unsure of the hour.
“Sorry, I was staring. Y’know, you’re even prettier when you’re asleep?”
“Really?” I wanted to tease him a little. “Am I that annoying while awake?”
“N-no! No, not at all. I just meant— I mean, what I meant was—was— I—”
His panic seemed exaggerated but luckily I stopped playing along. “Relax lover boy. I was just teasing.” He visibly relaxed and I took a long breath in, rubbing my eyes. “What smells so good?”
“That? Well, I made my special breakfast. Just for you. A goat cheese and roasted walnut omelette.”
“Ooo, how fancy.” I sat up. “Wait. Hold on. Where did you get walnuts?” I didn’t own any walnuts. Or goat cheese for that matter. It was only then I realized he was fully dressed despite lying in bed next to me.
Adrien turned and lifted a tray toward to me. “I went out and bought some.”
“Adrien — you didn’t have to do that.” Secretly though, my heart skipped at the thought he went so far out of his way to make me happy. Little did I know how far that would be.
The meal he had made looked incredibly delicious. A golden roll of egg folded over lush greens and earthy chunks of walnut. The entire thing glimmered gleaming with melted butter and maple syrup, its sweetness watering my mouth. I cut off a bite and ate it.
“Well?” He asked expectantly.
“It’s good.”
“Are you sure? You made a face.”
“No. I just — I didn’t know it would be cold, is all.”
“Shit— I lost track of time.” He lurched, grabbing the tray, “Let me heat that back up for for you.”
And like that he was up and gone. While I waited, I searched for my phone in the rumpled heaps tossed about the room, eventually finding it in the corner with my left shoe. The time wasn’t as late as I though, but there were several missed calls from the school I was suppose to be teaching at right now. I decided to worry about that later and instead check my messages. Most of them were demands to know about my absence. One though was from Nate, my ex, the one with too much chemistry. I rolled my eyes and tried ignoring that message too. Except I glimpsed Nate claim to be “On my way over now to finally pick up my—”
Damn. What did he want this time? I thought, dreading coming confrontation. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to let Nate ruin my great new day.
I tossed on some clothes which hadn’t been discarded haphazardly on the floor and went out to meet Adrien in the kitchen where the scent of roasted walnuts hung heavy in the air. He was standing over the stove which didn’t immediately strike me as odd until I heard the muted metal clinking of something hard being tossed around in a pot.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yup.” He said casually. “Just cooking you a fresh omelette.”
“Why didn’t you just nuke the other one in the microwave?”
“Well… I considered it, but the microwave would make the egg all rubbery, and so I decided to just start from scratch. It really is best fresh. Fresh egg, fresh cheese, freshly chopped and toasted walnuts. The works.”
I saw the knife and cutting board next to a pile of broken walnut husks. “Wait… those are whole walnuts.” I observed aloud. In the back of my head the calculus was slowly adding up. Adrien got up, went out, bought groceries, came back, cooked a full meal, and that meal then had time to get cold. “A-Adrien, you didn’t have to do all this for me.”
He paused, turning to me, his grin nowhere to be found and a deathly seriousness stretched across his stony expression. “Of course I did Kim. All of it. You’re worth all of it.”
There wasn’t even a moment to react before an etched echo of a key tumbled into my front door lock. “Geeze, already?” I muttered.
Nate erupted from the entryway as a ruptured boil. He was halfway into the living room when he abruptly stopped cold in his ugly azure bomber jacket. He turned, jumping, “Shit! Kimmy, what hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work? What the hell?”
“What am I doing here!? What the fuck are you— T-this is my apartment Nate!”
“Relax, alright. I’m only here for my PS4 and— shit. Is that your new beau? Oh oh, I’m real sorry I interrupted your love nest Kimmy.”
At that time I thought: fuck him. He wasn’t the least bit apologetic. Nate was nothing more than a selfish asshole who I never should have left a key with. “Nate, leave! I want you gone. Now!”
That’s the last clear thing I remember speaking to Nate. “I want you gone.” I remember repeating several times. Yeah. “I want you gone.” I definitely said that more than once. After that our yelling match quickly devolved into a trade of tirades and throat-shredding screams. No communication, just simple animistic howls for dominance. Heat and friction. A rolling boiling fire of emotion.
This was when Adrien stepped between us.
I remember my heart melting at that time. His strong confident shoulders looked like they were ready save the day. Like he always had, Adrien seemed like he would solve everything with a kind word and a half-cocked smile.
Instead there was a lunge. Followed by a wet gasp for air. I couldn’t quite see it so I chose not to believe it. Except I had no choice but to accept the spray of blood splattering the floor. What did Nate do to Adrien? That was my first concern. That was my only concern. Of course, as the two of them spun further into view, I saw clearly that it was Nate’s neck split open, a clumsy knife widening a slit in his larynx, scarlet ink staining the gaps in his confused and crooked teeth.
Nate was a motionless heap on the floor before I spoke again. “Nate… are you okay?” I asked like a complete idiot, as if I didn’t already understand Adrien murdered Nate mere moments after seeing him.
Adrien turned, his white shirt a chaotic Pollock of darkening red. The blood wrapped kitchen knife weighed heavy in his grip. “Don’t worry. That man’s gone now.” He said.
“What did you do?” I asked, once again dumbly. Once again questioning the obvious fact of Adrien slicing Nate’s neck open right in front of me. But what else are you suppose to say? Other than nothing. Saying nothing is the only other viable alternative. It would be funny, if it weren’t so tragic, the way our minds default to meaningless phrases when there’s nothing to say. There are no uncomfortable silences when you’re in love, or so they say.
Adrien’s half-cocked smile twitched. “I got rid of him… for you. Don’t you see I did it for you?”
I retreated backstepping further into the kitchen, to where burning walnuts permeated the room. “No. No I didn’t want this. Not this.” My fingers tangled in my hair as they massaged my temples in futility.
“Oh god.” True terror whitened Adrien’s face. “You’re upset. You… you didn’t want this at all. I— I ruined everything. Oh god!” He put the knife to his own neck with the blade scraping his burgeoning unshaved stubble.
“Stop!” I ran over nearly tackling into Adrien. I groped at his arm but the tension in his muscles were indomitable. Gazing up at him in the cold light of day, I could now see the black stains stuck to Adrien’s teeth and even the shadows blotting the edges of his eyes. This was me. This was my fault. This love potion, it poisoned Adrien’s mind. Turned him into something else, this thing in front of me. “It’s okay. It’s fine.” I reassured him. “I’m just… worried you’ll get arrested.”
He put the knife down. His expression relaxed softening. “Don’t worry you’re pretty little head.” He kissed my forehead. “I will take care of the mess.” My mind drowned in a haze of confusion, from the pool of blood at my naked feet to the not Adrien figure tenderly embracing my shoulders.
From then on, he lovingly ushered me to the bathroom. There he cleaned me up, lathering and massaging the evidence from my skin. He carried me to bed, brushing the hair from my face. Carefully and methodically he washed away his exit from my room. From behind the door I’ve heard all sorts of noises, heavy grunting noises of exertion and effort, scrubbing sawing sounds, the clunking thuds of footfalls and limbs falling. Every so often not Adrien has returned, carrying a cup of tea or a grilled cheese on a plate. He offered these to me like a gifts. Then he’d lean in for a loving kiss. Of course I’d pull away. Although I recognized the pain that flashed behind his eyes each time I rejected him. Told him no. And I’d force myself to reassure him in other ways. I was the one who first gave him my love after all.
It is well past sundown now and not Adrien left several hours ago, heaving bags with him as he went. I’ve been little more than a wreckage on my bed, the same bed we had shared the night before, wondering where my skin ends and sheets begin.
The Adrien that I loved isn’t the Adrien who loves me.
I don’t love the Adrien who loves me, but I fear I know exactly where I can make that right. I know exactly where I can buy his love.
★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ meh
By aj-coolio on October 15, 2019
Verified Purchase
i hate liquorice and they don’t take returns
gave two stars for prompt delivery
submitted by CrimsonClubs to nosleep [link] [comments]

2019.07.06 15:30 JarvIsland I am 29 years old, I make $80,000, live in Cleveland, and work as an attorney

Retirement Balance: ~$28k in a Vanguard 401(k) from an old job; ~$14k in a pension with my current job (I contribute 10% and my employer contributes 13%, but this balance only reflects my contributions)
High-yield Savings: ~$8k
Regular Savings: ~$800
Checking Account: Varies...I usually put all of my expenses/purchases on my credit card and pay it off either in full every month or more frequently based on how my statement end date and balance reporting date interact. I don’t like to carry a large balance in my checking account.
Student loan debt: ~$113k. I consolidated for PSLF and at this point don’t know exactly what $ amount is from what degree, but this is primarily from law school with a relatively small portion leftover from undergrad. I got a decent scholarship for undergrad and close to a full ride for law school.

Monthly Take Home: $4185 (unless there are three paydays in a month, as I’m paid every other week)
Pre-tax Deductions…
Retirement: $622.40
Health Insurance: $98.80
FSA: $125
Transit Pass: $95
Employer-paid benefits cover the rest of my health insurance, vision and dental, life insurance, and disability insurance.

Rent: $950 for a 2-bedroom apartment.
Savings Contribution: ~$1200 (mostly to HYSA - I have a savings account linked to my checking account that I keep a small balance in mostly because I don’t want to close the account.)
Student Loans: $61 (This is goofy...it was previously significantly higher, and I just recertified my employer and reverified my income, so I’m expecting that it will be significantly higher again when that goes through. I’m making qualifying payments for PSLF, and whether my payment is $61 or way more than that, it’s manageable, and I consider myself lucky to have a job with a qualifying employer that pays well and that I mostly like.)
Donations: This is kind of a hodgepodge. I’m a (cheap) ACLU member with a $55 annual donation. I’m also a Friend-level member of the Cleveland Museum of Art, which is $125 for two years. Beyond that, I do one-off donations randomly throughout the year to organizations based on which dumpster fire seems to be the worst at any given moment, and I donate to political campaigns randomly as well. The most recent example of this is $25 to Elizabeth Warren a couple weeks ago. I also try to donate my time - specifically, about 4 hours a week is spent in a mentoring program through a local organization, and in campaign season I try to canvass on a regular basis. (For the midterms, I did a shift or two probably every other Saturday...not that you would know it based on the Republican almost-sweep of statewide offices in Ohio.)
Gas and Electric: Varies wildly by season, but on average around $150 together
Wifi: $45.99 (feels like a scam but my options are limited)
Phone: $94.24 for my iPhone installment payments and plan (also feels like a scam)
Netflix: $9.71
Hulu and Spotify: $10.79
NYT (online and crossword): $7.47
Amazon: $119/year
Credit Card Fee: $95/year (this is the first year that I’ve had to pay the fee, so the jury’s still out on whether or not I think it’s worth it)
CSA: $300 for 20 weeks
Indians Season Tickets: ~$6,500 for a full season for 4 tickets (This was initially a shared expense, but for this season for a variety of reasons it’s an individual expense - this season is paid off.)

Day 1 (Monday)
6:20 First alarm goes off...I’m at the apartment of the guy I’m seeing (R.) and I’m trying to curb my bad habit of sleeping in more when I’m at his place. We both snooze for a bit. Eventually he gets up and starts packing (he’s going out of town for work this week), and finally I get up too.
7:30 We leave his place and stop to get coffee on the way to my house. We both get cold brew, he gets a cinnamon roll, and I get some kind of vegan morning muffin that is delicious. It’s his turn to pay. He drops me off at home.
8:00 I quickly get ready...it’s a quiet week at work, so I put on jeans and a casual top, pack up miscellaneous lunch stuff, use a Neutrogena face wipe, TJ’s hyaluronic acid serum, CeraVe moisturizer, and some makeup (CoverGirl bb cream, Glossier cloud paint, Maybelline mascara, Pixi brow pencil and Boy Brow). I’m out the door just in time to catch a bus to work. I read (The Peacock Emporium by Jojo Moyes - so far, so meh) and listen to music (mostly Lizzo) on the bus.
8:45 Run into one of my favorite coworkers on my way in, and we chat for a bit. We haven't seen each other in a while and it's nice to catch up.
9:00 I settle in and start work...I realize that I left some things at home (that I very ambitiously brought home with me on Friday with the best intentions of doing a little work over the weekend), so I take that as a sign that I should work on a different project. I finish my coffee and resist the urge to make a cup at work. I don’t resist the urge to finish off a bag of cashews in my desk. I see an email that someone brought in scones for a colleague’s birthday, so I have one of those as well.
11:00 Apparently this is going to be a weird day for me, food-wise. I snack on some TJ’s crispbreads with goat cheese. I also take a break and order Boy Brow and Brow Flick from Glossier - I’ve been basically out of Boy Brow for a while but haven’t pulled the trigger to reorder...I’m intrigued enough by Brow Flick to finally do it. $32.40
12:30 I have some books on hold at the library, so I head out to pick them up. It feels like it’s been gray in Cleveland for ages, so the sunshine is very welcome.
1:30 Someone comes in to ask me a question about a project I’ve been working on for months (after I inherited it from a former coworker) that I thought was finally off my desk...his question is one that I had months ago and was brushed off by other people, but hearing someone else ask the same question has me rethinking the whole thing and kind of derails my afternoon. I snack on some cherry tomatoes and try to get back on track.
4:50 I head out and walk to take the train to the house of the boy that I mentor once a week. At his house, I’m informed by his older sister that he’s in the hospital. I get some details from her and make plans to visit him later this week, and head home. A lot got lost in translation, so I’m not really sure how worried I should be, which means that I’m pretty worried.
5:45 I stop at the grocery store on the way home and pick up lemons, heavy cream, and sugar snap peas. $7.97
6:30 At home, I turn on music and start making dinner: lemon linguine with fresh pasta (bought not made...I only wish I was a fancy pasta bitch) and a green salad with CSA veggies. It is perfect and one of those meals that makes me wish every meal could be like this as I’m eating it. I turn on the Bachelorette after I eat and sort of half-watch...so much cringing. (I don’t pay for cable because it’s 2019, but my dad gave me an old pair of rabbit ears he had hanging around, so I am able to watch some network tv: I mostly use this for The Bachelor(ette), Jeopardy, Meet the Press, and sometimes the Today show when real morning news via NPR feels too heavy.)
10:00 I lounge around for a little bit, start listening to Lovett or Leave It, and then get ready for bed. I watch the season premiere of Younger and then pass out.
Daily total: $40.37
Day 2
8:30 I have a vague memory of waking up at 7:30, but apparently my body had a different idea because I get up at 8:30...I’m usually on the bus by now...I quickly call an Uber, get dressed (I’m wearing a dress today to try to will the universe into sending warmer weather - one of my favorite midi-length sort of polka dot dresses with a long fuzzy cardigan and white Keds), brush my teeth, put on a little makeup, make a smoothie, and run outside. (The Uber was far away, I promise I had plenty of time to do this while waiting.) My Uber driver is very chatty and very pleasant. $9.80 with tip
9:00 I get to work, check in with my secretary who went home sick yesterday, and get settled in. I drink my smoothie (a peach, a banana, a few strawberries, many blueberries, chia seeds, coconut milk, and a couple handfuls of spinach) and drink a La Colombe draft latte can that I threw in my lunch bag.
11:00 I realize I haven’t had any water yet today (unusual) so I fill up my bottle. I also send my boss an email confirming that it’s okay that I work from home tomorrow. I work from home probably once every six months or so, usually if I have an appointment or something at an inconvenient time. This is the case for tomorrow - I have a dentist appointment (that I have no memory of scheduling) at 11:50, and it’s right down the street from my apartment. Honestly, I’ve been daydreaming about trying to work from home more because I tend to be more productive.
12:00 Lunchtime! I definitely sometimes feel (at least at work) like I’m just counting down the minutes until my next meal. I have a repeat of last night’s pasta and salad dinner at my desk and even though I’m at my desk and it looks beautiful outside, it is the opposite of a sad desk lunch. I do a little online window shopping (I have a few things in my shopping cart at Aerie and Everlane...my common practice is to put things in my shopping bag and visit them periodically until the siren song becomes too much and I eventually order them, OR I change my mind about them and empty the cart.)
4:30 I can’t take it anymore and head out. Also, it’s a beautiful day and I didn’t really take a lunch break so I feel a deep need to just get outside. I take the bus straight home.
4:45 At home, I go back and forth between gardening and cooking, listening to podcasts as I work (Here to Make Friends, Pod Save the People, Pod Save America, and Fresh Air)...I do a little weeding and pruning and put some plants in containers. I also boil corn (and use my corn cob tool thing for the first time), make quinoa, roast some potatoes, and make coconut collard greens (I throw in the rest of the spinach I have as well.) I have some quinoa and greens with two fried eggs and some sliced dried thai chili pepper for dinner with a grapefruit seltzer and eat outside on my porch. I also make brown butter chocolate chip cookies for a coworker’s birthday tomorrow, and I eat too much dough/too many cookies in the interest of quality control. At some point, I talk to my mom on the phone for a few minutes.
9:00 p.m. I clean up the kitchen and get ready for bed with skincare - Neutrogena cleansing oil, toner, serum and a few drops of a facial elixir from a local brand (it’s basically an oil blend), and moisturizer) - and brushing and flossing. I fall asleep to Schitt’s Creek.
Daily total: $9.80
Day 3
4:45 No idea why I’m up this early, but I embrace it, first by laying in bed and scrolling through Instagram while listening to NPR, and later by making coffee and having some with cookies and a book on the porch. Eventually I decide I should start getting ready, so I come inside and turn on the season premiere of Good Trouble. I remove my nail polish that was chipping and weirdly discolored (I ordered my favorite Essie shade on Amazon because I’ve been unable to find it in any stores, but I’m thinking maybe I won’t do that again…) and put on some Nail Envy. A little dry shampoo, a little skincare and makeup, two slices of Gouda cheese, and I’m ready to go. I read more and listen to the Women in Pop Spotify playlist on my way to work.
8:30 I settle in to work...I’m only going to be here for a few hours, so I knock out a few small things while I’m here. (I never heard back from my boss, and I remembered that it’s my coworker’s birthday and I had committed to making cookies, so I decided to come in for the morning.)
11:10 I head out to the dentist appointment. This is just a routine cleaning, so it doesn’t take very long, it’s pretty painless, and I don’t owe anything.
12:45 I go across the street to get a cold brew from a new coffee place I’ve been meaning to try - it’s meh - and I eat a purse Larabar, fully negating the clean teeth feeling. $5 with tip.
1:00 I’m in the market for a new bike, and I’m close to the bike shop, so I stop in. The guy working is super helpful, and I end up test riding two models...I like them both a lot, and of course I like the one that’s more expensive significantly more. He gives me a card with his info and the info for both bikes, and I make plans to come in and give the preferred bike another try with some adjustments. This is something I’ve been meaning to do for AGES but thanks to a combination of terrible weather, a busy schedule, and anxiety, I’m just now getting around to it. I walk home, sweaty and happy.
1:45 I heat up the leftover greens and quinoa, reapply sunscreen and put on a hat, and eat on the porch while listening to Keep It. I do some work and continue snacking on buffalo pretzel thins and the potatoes I made yesterday. I also snack on about half a sleeve of Thin Mints.
6:15 I’m kind of drowsy, so I call an Uber to take me to my ceramics class. $6.90 with tip.
6:30 Class goes fairly well! This is the third session of classes I’ve taken in a row, but this is mostly handbuilding, which is new for me, so it’s been an interesting journey. I paid for the class months ago.
9:00 It’s beautiful out and I’m feeling more energized, so I walk home. I talk to my dad for a bit on the walk. At home, I immediately shower and get in bed with my book, a seltzer, and the rest of the buffalo pretzel thins. I fall asleep reading.
Daily total: $11.90
Day 4
8:00 Apparently I forgot to set alarms...I wake up from a bizarre and sort of terrible dream for the second time this week. I’m kind of foggy, so I slowly get up and start getting ready for the day: I turn on NPR, make a quick salad and dressing for lunch, have some iced coffee and cheese and thin mints (breakfast of champions), brush my teeth, get dressed, put makeup on, don’t put much effort into my wild hair because it’s drizzling, and run out to the bus. I listen to music and read on the bus per usual.
8:45 Get in and settled at work...I see two empty tupperware containers on my desk, and I’m glad the cookies were a hit yesterday.
9:45 I make myself a cup of (crappy) work coffee. I share a tiny Keurig with three other people and I hate everything about it but still use it every so often.
10:45 I take a break to snack on some cucumbers and scroll through Twitter and unsurprisingly end up regretting it. I have some baseball tickets for sale on Stubhub, so I check on them and make sure they’re priced okay.
12:10 I have my salad for lunch...unfortunately, the goat cheese I was going to add to it that I had in the work fridge has turned, so no cheese for me. I remember that I had two slices of cheese for breakfast and decide it’s probably for the best, aside from the food waste. I had forgotten how much I love fresh corn in summer salads. I also have two TJ’s crispbreads.
2:15 I have a box of raisins out of what I think is mostly boredom. This is pretty quickly followed by more crispbreads, and another box of raisins. I’m having a tough time focusing on pretty much anything, and I’m in kind of a foul mood but can’t pinpoint why.
4:45 I head out and walk to CVS to see if I can find something fun to take my mentee. I end up with three boxes of candy, a bottle of the aforementioned Essie that I haven’t seen in stores in ages, and two bottles of the B12 vitamins I take (I ran out a few days ago and I haven’t been to CVS since, and even though CVS is generally expensive, the vitamins are basically always buy one get one free or half off.) No luck as far as a toy or game. ($22.22) I get on the bus and end up getting off a few stops before the hospital to go to a dollar store - success! I should’ve just counted on this to begin with. I get Uno, a Spiderman coloring activity book, and a box of crayons. ($9.07)
5:45 I mostly avoid getting lost and make it to his room. He seems pretty good (although understandably bored), and he is excited by the candy and the Uno. We play for a bit, and talk for a bit, and then a magician stops by to do a few tricks, which he LOVES. We make plans for me to visit again on Monday.
7:30 I get back on the bus to head home. One bus transfer and one hour later, I’m home! And exhausted. I take the trash out, take a quick shower, and then make dinner: Velveeta shells and cheese with steamed broccoli and a lot of Frank’s. Shells and cheese is a reliable comfort food for me. Love that liquid gold. I eat about half and then put the rest in a container for lunch tomorrow. I also decide to make some cold brew with a Starbucks kit that my mom gave me a while ago. It has a vanilla fig flavor packet, which is something that I would usually throw away because I like my coffee to taste like coffee, but she loved it and we have pretty similar tastes (when it comes to coffee and a lot of other things), so in the jar it goes. I’m a little bummed when I read that it’s supposed to steep for 24 hours (I don’t know why I’m surprised because when I make my own cold brew I let it steep for 24 hours…) I was counting on Friday morning cold brew, but it’ll have to wait.
10:00 I read for a bit and pass out pretty quickly.
Daily total: $31.29
Day 5
7:40 I’ve ignored my first few alarms, but it’s time to face the day. I get up, boil water for coffee, and eat a Larabar. I feel like really leaning into the casual part of casual Friday, but I’m meeting up with my cousin for a lunchtime lecture thing, so I put on high-waisted skinny jeans (Target’s finest), a vintage pale pink short-sleeved button-up blouse with a sort of scalloped detail, and my Everlane loafers. I also make an effort to actually tame my hair by straightening a few pieces, and do my normal skincare/makeup routine. Because the lunchtime thing will take up more than an hour, but I’m still planning to leave at my normal time, I call an Uber. The driver and I talk about how much some neighborhoods have changed and how many silly expensive new residential properties are going up everywhere. $9.52 with tip.
8:30 The first thing I see when I walk into my office is a tiny spider climbing up a web onto a beam. I don’t do well with spiders, and I know that I’ll only be thinking about when and how he’s going to land on my head and won’t be able to concentrate, so I go off in search of something to get him with. I come back with a sad-looking broom, and after climbing up on a cabinet I realize I can’t deal with it, and a coworker kindly offers to do the deed. Once the spider is taken care of, I take advantage of the broom and tackle some cobwebs that I’ve noticed for a while but have been out of reach (I work in an old building and we have very high ceilings and some weird internal architecture - basically, ideal conditions for cobwebs and probably respiratory problems.)
9:00 It’s payday, so I transfer money to my HYSA and pay my credit card bill. (I basically put everything on my credit card because I’m addicted to reward points, and then pay it off periodically - not immediately after I purchase things, but I time it around my statement date and the date that the bank reports to credit bureaus so that I’m never carrying a huge balance.)
11:00 I eat my leftovers with a generous amount of Cholula on top because that Larabar was not enough to hold me over.
11:45 I head over to the location of the lecture, check in, and save a seat for my cousin. Turns out it actually is a luncheon, so I supplement my mac and cheese brunch with a lovely salad with teeny vegetables on top, some rosemary foccaccia, and a vegan chocolate coconut raspberry dessert thing. I also have a cup of coffee because I have no self-control. The event is about the state of the Great Lakes - there are three speakers and we agree afterwards that two were pretty great and one was less great.
1:30 Back at work, and counting down the minutes until I can leave again because it’s so nice out!
4:45 I head out...at home, I change and freshen up a bit, and then I take an Uber to R.’s house. $10.08 From there, we walk to my friends’ house and get another Uber from there to the game. $7.56 with tip.
7:30 At the game...my friend buys me a beer, R. buys me a veggie dog, later my friend buys me another beer, and I buy myself a mushroom melt. $2.50 We win!
10:30 Lyft back to my friends’ from the game, and then R. and I walk back to his place. $12.68 with tip
Daily total: 42.34
Day 6
8:30 I wake up, kiss R. goodbye, and head home. It’s a quick walk, a 20ish minute bus ride, and a 10-minute walk and then I’m home. At home, I try some of the cold brew (it’s not great, and one of the bags breaks so I have to strain some grounds out.
11:30 My mom picks me up and we head to pick up our CSA shares. I also get a bag of radishes. $1.50 As per tradition, we stop and get iced coconut water lattes. They also have oat chocolate cookies and I can’t resist. $11.10 with tip.
12:45 My mom drops me off at home. I put away veggies and then start cleaning/organizing/doing laundry. My sister is coming to stay with me for a bit, and I’m using it as an excuse/reason to sort through some things and (hopefully) get rid of some stuff.
3:30 My dad picks me up and we head downtown to the game. He gets a beer and brat for himself and a water and peanuts for me. Later, I get us both waters. $9.00
7:30 We win again! Dad drops me off at home. I do a little more laundry and tidying, and then I make burrata with snow peas from Smitten Kitchen. (It’s SO GOOD. Highly recommend.) I eat while watching season 1 of Fleabag. I also have some chocolate chips because balance. I switch over to Schitt’s Creek and end up passing out on the couch.
Daily total: $21.60
Day 7
7:30 I wake up on the couch and immediately go brush my teeth. Then I make coffee and scrambled eggs. I watch a little of the Today show, do more laundry and organizing, and then watch Meet the Press.
11:00 I turn on Schitt’s Creek, update this diary, and eat more Red Hot Blues than I should. (Side note: this is a thing that I’m pretty sure I learned about from Money Diaries...they are delicious and addictive.)
12:00 I head outside and do some gardening. I finally get everything in the ground that I’ve been meaning to, and it’s looking pretty good!
1:30 I shower, paint my nails, eat a big salad, and get dressed/put on makeup and sunscreen. R. picks me up and we go to his place and he calls an Uber from there.
4:00 We meet up with two of R.’s friends. It’s a beautiful day outside and the people-watching is excellent. I get a grilled cheese and a couple beers. R. and I also split two pina colada drinks because they come in a pineapple and we are easily tempted. We take turns buying drinks. $20
7:00 Our friends drove, so we all head back to R.’s place. We hang out for a bit before deciding that pizza is in order, so we go to a place nearby. I order a pizza to share and beers for R. and me. $29.36 with tip.
8:45 We say goodbye to our friends and R. and I walk back to his place. We watch an episode of The Sopranos and I make it through most of the episode before falling asleep on the couch, so we head to bed.
Daily total: $49.36
Weekly Total: $206.66
Food and Drink: $74.93 Clothes and Beauty: $54.62 Entertainment: $11.50
Home and Health: $0 Transport: $56.54 Other: $9.07

Reflections: I think this was a decent week for me, and fairly normal. I was very aware before doing this diary that UbeLyft are one of my spending weak spots, so that was not really a surprise to me, but I’m still a little disappointed in myself. In fairness to myself, I’m saving money by not driving/having a car, but still. Also, slightly troubled out that the weekly spend ends in 666...
submitted by JarvIsland to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

2019.04.28 21:40 pisymbol The Data Incubator: An In-Depth Review


Hello, my name is Alexander and I'm a recent graduate of The Data Incubator program.
I know before I joined the program datascience was an invaluable tool in helping me make my final decision to attend (a big shout out to all members who responded to my private messages) and this in-depth (read: way too long) review is my small attempt to give back. I also believe that my perspective is somewhat unique in that most of the existing great reviews out there are from a fresh grad/post-doc perspective while mine is one from someone who is already an experienced professional looking to transition into data science.

About Me

I'm formerly trained in computer science and have been a Senior Software Engineer for over 15 years. I started my career with a deep love of operating systems and UNIX (I'm getting old, I remember installing RedHat from a dozen or so floppy disks) so the first half of my career has been spent writing fairly low-level/high performant (well, sometimes) code mainly in C/C++. So think storage and network drivers, boot code, deep packet inspection, and just general platform work.
However in 2016, I read "The Great A.I. Awakening" in the NYT and was completely blown away by it. The only time I have ever heard of anything related to neural networks was the venerable perceptron algorithm which I knew was used on some CPUs for branch prediction. But I had no idea how far the AI community had come with deep learning and vowed that I wanted to be part of the action too! Since then I've taken numerous online MOOCs on machine learning and now consider Andrew Ng to be one of my closest friends (disclaimer: I have never met Professor Ng).

The Data Incubator (TDI)

If you aren't familiar with TDI's Fellowship program, it is considered by many to be one of the premier data science bootcamps in the country (US anyway). It is an eight week program that is supposed to not only teach you the foundations of data science but also help you land a job as well through their ever expanding partner network. Their main competitor is probably Insight but they are also battling an entire cottage industry of multi-week camps such as Springboard and Metis to name a few.


What's makes TDI somewhat unique compared to other bootcamps is their non-trivial admission process which is broken down into three rounds:
My guess is the majority of folks get past the first round provided you have a graduate degree from a reputable university but get rejected in the second round during the project challenge phase. They claim their acceptance rate is 2-3% which is about right: My cohort I think had ~4k applicants with a little less than 36 attending.
The project challenge is actually broken down into two or three subprojects with each subproject covering areas of probability, statistics, and basic data science (mostly dataset handling and EDA, not modeling). I would say knowledge of Python is pretty much required to get through the challenges intact.
This is how it works: TDI will send you a link to a real, midsized dataset (at least a few gigabytes) and ask you to perform some in-depth EDA about it. For the stats/probs part, they will ask you to write some code to simulate an experiment and then ask various basic probability questions about your results. So I would say if you are looking to "book-up" for the admissions process you should be fairly comfortable with Python, pandas/numpy, web scraping, and SQL. Obviously, challenge questions will vary with each cohort but my guess is they are all similar with respect to the skillsets you need to do them. You have a few days to finish it and can submit as many times as you want, i.e. you can work on some, submit, work on another part, submit, redo the first section, submit, etc.
I talked to several classmates about the challenge project and I think on average most folks said they spent at least 20 hours working on it - so be prepared. The admission process says it takes a few hours to finish but that is just not realistic unless you happen to be not only fluent in the above technologies (I was) but also familiar with the dataset in question (obvioulsy not).
Frankly, I found all the challenge problems to be a lot of fun! I got to not only flex my data science muscles but also learn a few things along the way. However, I must admit that if I hadn't gotten accepted into the program it would have been a heavy investment on my part with very little gain (I literally didn't sleep one Friday night coding one of the challenges up, read: the wife was not happy).
If you make it pass the first two rounds, next is your capstone pitch which consists of a stand alone short video of yourself explaining what you want to do for your capstone project as well as a separate video preso further explaining it. It's typically very high level though; some candidates (including yours truly) had alpha/beta-ish projects from other courses as a basis which gave us a clear advantage while others were still in the incubation stage (literally a single page with scribbles on it that vaguely resembled "Look out, Data Science!").
Note that this round is mainly about gauging your personality, how you present in front of a crowd under a time crunch, and how articulate you are when talking about a technical topic. My main advice here would be to practice your pitch and have a few sensible slides to work off of. Please note that you do not get to share your desktop but rather have to send your slides to everyone over a chatroom, which means you can't drive the whole process as you normally would in a formal presentation.
If all goes well, you're in! Congrats!

Fellow vs. Scholar

During the admission's process, you can apply to be a Fellow or a Scholar but what does that really mean since both are part of the Fellowship program?
Fellows attend TDI tuition free but have to agree to interview with TDI's partner network for a period of time before being able to interview with any company of their choosing and have to attend in-person and thus can not be online.
Scholars on the other hand have to pay a tuition fee but are not tied to TDI's partner network. They can also attend online and are eligible for a 50% refund if they land a job with a partner.
However, after the admissions process, everyone is treated as a Fellow, i.e. there is no distinction during and after the program. It's purely an admission distinction only, and in fact the faculty at TDI treat everyone as Fellows - that includes partner meetings, projects, you name it. Again, there is no distinction once you start the program.
I attended the program as an Online Fellow since I worked full-time and was not going to leave my current job without another one in-hand.

Online vs In-Person

One aspect about the TDI Fellowship that really stands out is that it was designed to be accessible for online students since its inception. It's one of the major reasons why I applied in the first place and why I think the Insight program is a bit behind the times in this regard.
But that begs the question: Do you loose anything by being an Online Fellow instead of attending In-Person? Yes, there are a few drawbacks:

Location, Location, Location!

TDI is a self-styled WeWork company so all the classes are held in shared workspaces (read: at any given moment that location's wireless connection may just drop). At the time of this writing, the main office locations are in New York, San Francisco and D.C. Everyone else is online. Note that your daily lecture maybe given from any of these sites based on what resident TDI DS is teaching it.
Here's the thing: If you do decide to attend in-person, your location will have a huge impact on your placement as the bulk of TDI partners are located in New York and San Franscisco (which to some extent is to be expected). If you are willing to relocate though, then this may not be too much of a big deal. But for those looking for jobs in their local metropolitan area, you are most likely on your own. Don't get me wrong, TDI has partners worldwide (seriously they do) but there is definitely a high concentration of them that bookend the US Coasts.


Before you officially start your cohort, TDI has a 12-day onboarding program that they recommend you work on as well as a homework project that you must complete and submit before attending class. So be prepared to start coding on day one after accepting the Fellowship.
The 12-day program is a crash course in data structures and algorithms, probability/statistics, and Python. Take it seriously. One of the biggest mistakes many Fellows made was to not to do go through the 12-day program in earnest and to work on their day-one homework assignment late in the game. I'm telling you as someone who knew about 95% of the 12-day program that I still needed a refresher on a few things: When is the last time you did any kind of dynamic programming? When is the last time you had to write quicksort from scratch? You get the idea.

A Day In the Life of a Fellow

Each day the course follows the following outline:

Coding Challenges

Every morning you have an hour to do a coding challenge. They are mandatory and vary wildly in quality. Once thing that really bothered me throughout the course was the fact that the coding challenges are somewhat random both in topic and difficulty. I also generally believe that HackerRank problems are generally less useful than say LeetCode which groups coding interview questions by company which is key if you are trying to find a common thread of topics across industries to study (and also somewhat motivating knowing full well that you may see that exact problem in an actual interview). There were many times while struggling on one particular HackerRank "Hard" problem where I was like no one (not even Google) is gonna ask me this.
The resident data scientists will go over the solution afterwards; though the reference solutions are sorely lacking in detail and occasionally flat out ridiculous, i.e. the solution will focus on brevity instead of explainability. But overall, I do think the coding challenges were good practice and gets you in the mode of what a job interview could be like.


Every day there is lecture on a particular aspect of a major overarching topic for that week. So one week it maybe on machine learning while another week maybe dedicated to Apache Spark. Since they are only an hour each, it can sometimes feel very overwhelming, or counter intuitively very underwhelming, depending on your existing background on the topic and the course material itself. Most of the material is driven from a bunch of loosely coupled Juptyer notebooks which is good and bad - I found there was absolutely no excuse to have to open up multiple notebooks for an hour long lecture. I think that is just lazy and the notebooks should be re-organized accordingly. But I admit it's a relatively minor grievance in the grand scheme of things.
As for quality, again, it varies a lot. For example, I got a lot out of the Apache Spark and MapReduce lecture series and miniprojects since I have never worked with either of those technologies before and was very eager to learn. However ironically, I didn't get that much out of the machine learning ones since I already knew most of the material.
Overall, I think the lectures were OK. It's just very hard to teach advanced subjects in one hour chunks and it shows.


The mini-projects are nothing short of fantastic! Seriously, if there is one aspect of the program that I think they got right it's this one. They are challenging, realistic, and attempt to really test your understanding of the subject matter they cover. They are also as a result a lot of work and sometimes a bit frustrating too (and this is coming from someone who finished all of them a month early).
Every Satudary that week's mini-project is due and is auto-graded on a 0.0 to 1.0 scale. You need to get a 0.9 or higher on every mini-project to graduate the program. If you fall behind then you loose access to the CRM until you catch up. One thing they made clear is that this isn't to punish the Fellow. Rather, it's to ensure you understand the underlying course material - and I agree with them. Completing these mini-projects not only gives you a sense of accomplishment but actually makes you feel like a data scientist!


Throughout the course you will be working on your capstone. The capstone can be the one you pitched during the admission process or can be sponsored by a TDI partner. I know what you're thinking: Of course, I'm going to do one sponsored by a TDI partner since that will allow me to get in the door for a interview and land that dream job! Well, yes and no.
I had two online colleagues that did sponsored projects and were treated pretty poorly by their partners. One person finished the capstone and the partner didn't even show up to watch the person pitch it during Pitch Night (I'm pretty sure they didn't even get an interview to boot). Ironically, another was treated fairly well up until he actually finished the project (he did a fantastic job too) only to find out that his partner wasn't really interested in hiring him full-time. My advice is to research the "sponsor" first and try to gauge if there is a post-capstone process in place.
In general though, I would pick a capstone you feel somewhat passionate about - either in its subject matter or its methodology. Remember, this project is mainly for you in that it gives you something to talk about in an interview when asked what kind of DS have you done outside of saving passengers on the Titanic (drum roll please)!

Job Interview Lectures

These were obviously less useful for me since I have been in the industry for many years and have gone through several interviews in my career. There are few things that I strongly disagreed with that they stressed during the lecture (outside of maybe finance I would never ever wear a suit and tie to an interview - not happening) but that's for a another day.
Overall the job presos were presented well and I did learn how to write a proper cover letter (though a few of my more experienced colleagues debated if anyone actually reads them?). I am also very happy with my updated resume.

Pitch Night

Pitch Night is exactly what it sounds like: Fellows pitch their capstones to a few TDI partners in order to both sell themselves and indirectly the quality of the TDI program. I participated in it and I thought the experience was positive overall. I did have the feeling that Pitch Night is more about TDI showing off their product (read: me) more so than about Fellows getting actual job interviews. But to be fair, that might have been more to do with the group of partners that showed up than the actual format of the program itself (read: selection bias).
If you do happen to be one of the lucky souls that gets voted to do Pitch Night, I encourage you to do it. The process is a bit nerve racking but the TDI staff really excelled at making sure you were ready for it.

Partner Panels

A Partner Panel is where a TDI partner is invited to one of the WeWork office spaces scattered over the country to give some background about their company, how they hire, what's it like to be a data scientist, etc. Usually, an in-person Fellow is the panel "lead" and is responsible for introducing the partner and asking the first set of questions.
I found that the quality varied widely - some partners were really prepared and made me want to interview with them. Others, not so much. But even more disappointing was the fact that Online Fellows had practically zero interaction with these folks which put us at a disadvantage. I also think that this process could be improved a lot by formalizing the partner side more, i.e. require them to follow a certain format and answer a few standard questions right off the bat. But overall I think they were generally positive experiences and I did learn a lot by just listening to partners answer other people's questions.

The "CRM"

TDI's partner network is encapsulated by their internal CRM website that allows bidirectional communication between Fellows and Partners. Fellows can spam Partners with their CV/resumes and cover letters begging for an interview while Partners can peruse Fellow's resumes/CVs and contact them directly.
The good: TDI has built a fairly large partner network and it is ever growing. Also TDI's reputation as far as I can tell is pretty good within the industry, e.g. there are some partners who only hire TDI graduates believe it or not!
The bad: The CRM is simply not kept up to date. So there were many, many partners in the CRM that were either listed as inactive or unresponsive. Worse still, there were some partners who were listed as "active" who really weren't. Obviously, some of this stuff is out of TDI's control but it is disheartening to spend hours crafting a cover letter the stuff of legends only to find out the company isn't hiring.
The ugly: The site iself I found pretty awful in layout and design. Seriously, Wordpress is their friend. I also thought even simple things are missing like complete descriptions about what the company does, have they hired TDI fellows before, and any interviewing tips you should know (you can ask for this but I think it should just be baked into the CRM as a free service for Fellows).


TDI is overall a good program and definitely helped me transition into data science. But your results will vary a lot depending on your location, your background, and the number of partners involved in your particular cohort. I think the TDI staff is excellent but there are numerous places where they could improve the Fellowship's overall daily flow as well as make it a bit more personal (especially for Online folks).


You can but it will be difficult. I did the program this way but benefited from the fact that I knew the basics of all the topics being discussed and I already worked from home twice a week. The latter allowed me the flexibility to attend all of the mid-afternoon lectures and participate in my capstone study group. Lectures are usually at noon EST so I could just use my lunch hour to watch them. There were a few Online Fellows who did somthing similar. Some were successful, some still struggled to balance everything and fell behind (but did evenutally complete the program).
But the workload is a lot so be prepared to work long nights and weekends. I lost every night and my entire weekend for a few weeks which can be really tough if you have a family (read: I do).
Probably not. Based on talking to a lot of folks who took the program in past cohorts, most were still looking for jobs months after the program ended. Again, it's really the luck of the draw when it comes to the number of partners who are participating and how many of them are actually hiring.
I would say generally speaking, yes! Particularly if you have no formal background in DS whatsoever (like yours truly). It gives you an instant network to work with between TDI's and your fellow classmates. Moreover, if things go well, you will at least land a few interviews off the bat and get some practice in. All good experiences for landing that first DS job!
It depends. I believe in general, for smaller companies, you absolutely do have an advantage as a Fellow over a random applicant off the ether since you usually get to talk directly to a hiring manager. For larger companies though, I think you are treated like everyone else as most of the contacts are either someone in HR or a corporate wide recruiter.
It varies wildly depending again on your location, your existing experience, and the industry you are working in. You already knew that so this answer is not going to be very satisfying. However, it is the ground truth (literally).
I forgot where I read this (either here or Quora) but this isn't universally true. There is some truth to it particularly for start-ups and small outfits where resources are by definition limited. But for medium to large enterprises, a finder's fee is fairly typical in the industry and has really noting to do with a certain position's salary range.
Honestly, if you can afford it, I would advocate that you just take the course. Also, TDI is heavily biased towards having a PhD for the tuition-free Fellowship program so if you only have a Master's degree keep that in mind.
As I said earlier, it's not more prestigious - everyone is a Fellow once you are admitted in the eyes of both the staff and perspective employers. It's simply a matter of cost.
Unfortunately, no there isn't. Apparently, this has to do with their partner confidentiality agreements (at least that was my impression after inquiring).

TDI Alum Slack Channel

I've started a TDI Alumni Slack channel which is invite only. Please PM me for details.
submitted by pisymbol to datascience [link] [comments]

2019.01.09 18:24 Shadowyugi [PI] A Haunt, By Any Other Name - Superstition - 4,090 Words

Starting a new job usually filled me with a silent dread, more so when it’s in a town I haven’t visited since my dad left all those years ago. I wondered if my late grandma hated me for it. She never did let any negativity show through, whenever we spoke on the phone or the holidays when she came to the city to visit us. I’m honestly still shocked she left the house to me. Especially as my parents are still alive.
My fingers worked on the last of my laces but my mind was elsewhere, mentally categorizing everything I needed to remember before I leave the house. I had my house keys and my wallet in my back pockets as well as a packed lunch, inside the backpack I’m carrying, secured well in a plastic bag to avoid it spilling. The bag also had my registration documents and all the basic information I might need.
All in all, I just had to leave the house and get the day started.
A small laugh escaped me as I remembered something my grandma used to tell me, while she combed my hair early in the morning before school.
“Always ensure you have your needs, not your wants. Your bags and not your toys. Your mind, ready to learn and your hands ready to work. Above all else, don’t spend too long in front of a mirror, lest you break it.”
The memory warms my heart as I recited her motto. The last bit still made no sense to me, but I put it down to an old superstition. There is no way one can stand in front of the mirror so long that the mirror breaks on its own. It’s not even a good superstition to believe. It was just asinine. If it is a play on the existing broken mirror superstition then it’s a poor translation, added to the fact that I have seen broken mirrors and my seven years of bad luck was taking its sweet time.
Nonetheless, I got to my feet, picked my backpack from the floor and exited the house.
“Morning!” a voice called from my left and I turned to see my elderly neighbour.
“Uh… Morning, Mr Brunderberg?”
“Yes, lad! I knew you would remember. Was telling Mary yesterday, I was. You look like a fella who remembers things,” he said with a hearty laugh.
I shot him my best smile, hoping it didn’t show my nervousness. More importantly, entertaining the old man wasn’t in my schedule for the morning. I had a bus to catch.
“Yes. Yeah, I’ve been told I have a good memory,” I replied back, the smile still plastered on my face.
“So off to work then?” he asked
“Yes. First day!” I said and he laughed.
“No wonder you’re nervous. You’ll be fine, lad. Just keep your chin up and stun them with the charm you showed me and me wife yesterday,” he said, waving his fist enthusiastically. My smile was genuine now.
“Just show them you know what you’re doing. Keep the conversations brief, don’t want to be called ‘chatty’ on your first day. Most importantly, avoid standing near any mirrors. Wouldn’t want that at all,” he finished and my smile slipped slightly.
“Mirror?” I asked, confused.
“Aye,” he said, smiling before looking at his watch, ”You best be going now. The bus is going to pass by the bus stop soon.”
My mouth opened, ready to ask another question before I caught a glimpse at the time. The question died in my mouth and I waved a hasty goodbye to Mr Brunderberg.
My walk turned into a slight jog towards the end of the road and sure enough, the bus was rounding the corner. I crossed the road and finished the last few meters to the bus stop, joining the rest of the villagers already there. No familiar faces from what I could see but they all greeted me with a smile and a nod. The village was far different than I remembered it to be but I nodded back.
The last thing Mr Brunderberg had said to me played on my mind. It felt similar to my grandma’s mantra and it was slightly unnerving to think about. When she had said it, my dad had discouraged her to keep saying it to me but she didn’t stop. She never stopped saying it to me. I eventually discarded the thought and focused on the day ahead.
My office was supposedly 20 minutes away from the house, which made the idea to move into the down all the wiser. When my grandma had died, she had amended the will to give me the house in its entirety. A whole two-storey, detached wonder. All to myself. My father had talked me out of getting a new job and moving into the house immediately but I couldn’t wait. I didn’t want to wait.
It was my own house and I wanted to live in it. At least, that’s what I told him, in not so colourful words. His look had been that of hurt but I didn’t care. There was no reason for him to be jealous. Then again, I would be too if my mother gave a house to my kid and pennies to me.
The bus highlighted at the stop close to work and I got off, straightening my tie. As the bus wheeled off, I took a few seconds to stare at the quaint little office building that will be my workplace. It was smaller than I thought it would be but exactly as Google depicted it if I’m being honest. It wasn’t one of the highrises you would see in the city. Instead, it was the size of a modest house, two storeys tall and but wider than the average house would be. I checked the road was clear before crossing it, walking briskly to the door of the building.
Once there, my knuckles rasped on the bronze looking door a few times and then I waited.
After a few minutes of intermittent knocking, in which I began to sweat a lot, the door opened to reveal a small scrawny looking face wearing bigger spectacles than I thought was warranted. It was the face of a man who didn’t seem like he wanted to be bothered.
“Yes?” he said, as he frowned at me.
“I am Dean Multer. I’m here… about the programming job? This is Alternative Inc., right?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t at the wrong building.
The man’s eyes grew wide for a few seconds before darkening. I watched as his eyes darted around me before settling on mine. His gaze was sharp and it felt like he was searching mine for answers.
“I didn’t think you would be here,” he said, a hint of surprise in his voice.
“Well, I wanted to see the team I will be working with,” I replied, doing my best to smile widely.
“You misunderstand. The job was an online posting. I figured you could do it online, with me. No need to come down,” he said as his face softened.
“No, I do understand. But I prefer contact. Plus, my grandma willed me her house about 20mins away from here, so I figure I could kill two birds with one large, proverbial stone.” I replied, joking.
He smiled but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Instead, he glanced behind the door for a short moment before turning his attention back to me. His eyes searched mine again for a what seemed like an eternity before opening his door wider to let me in. As I entered, I noticed that his attention was still outside, like he was waiting for someone to return.
“Are we waiting for someone?” I asked, nervous at the idea of competition.
“Not at all. I’m just…” he said before whirling round to face me. He gritted his teeth before smiling nervously at me, He opened his mouth to say something before hesitating, so I took the initiative. No point prolonging my failure any more than it has been. I was obviously too forward and should have called ahead.
“Is there something wrong? I can go if you don’t think I’m a good fit,” I said.
“No. No, it’s not that,” he replied, closing the door.
It is only then I saw how many locks the door had in place as he slowly and diligently secured all of them. It gave me some time to really look at him.
My employer’s name was Michael Daud, a genius level programmer and entrepreneur with a sharp wit. At least, that was what his autobiography said about him. He had worked at the big name companies as a project lead and all his previous work had earned his employers copious amounts of money. After a decade or two of working amongst them, he decided to start his own company here. A small ‘start-up’. And he had vanished from the world ever since.
His autobiography was dated about five years ago, so it had been a shock when I applied to Alternative Inc. and I got an email from THE Michael Daud. I had cross-checked the name and the email he supplied a few times before responding. Apparently, my work on some self-correcting algorithms had impressed him enough to want to incorporate it in a project he was working on.
The image I had made of him in my head was different from how he is. Compared to the handsome picture of a young man in his forties as on the internet, the Michael Daud in front of me was balding. Wisps of hair were still clinging to his scalp and he was wearing a large, grey dressing gown. I also took notice of his posture because it looked like he was hunching a bit forward. He turned to face me after he secured the last lock on the door and I saw the bags under his eyes, as well as the wrinkles on his face.
He gave me a small smile that looked a bit sad before walking past me.
“Come, let me introduce you to the rest of the team,” he said.
He walked quickly up some stairs and I followed after him, taking care to match his speed. Once at the top, he went through a pair of double doors and into a room with four glass cubicles lined up in a straight formation, against the wall to my right. Each cubicle has a desk, a chair and a filing cabinet on the side, opposite the door. In the cubicles, were three men and a mousey looking woman, all of whom smiled at me widely as I walk in. Above the cubicles were four small windows which seemed to open only to the cubicles.
“Starting from the guy closest to the door, that is Jorge Pitta, Maggie Rose, Lucas Trent and David King,” he said in a monotone voice and as soon as he finished, all the four other employees intoned together, at the same time.
I smiled at them, slightly unnerved by the accuracy in which they greeted me in unison and I caught a tight smile on Michael’s face that immediately vanished when he looked at me. He nodded towards a glass room opposite to the cubicles and I walk in with him. There were two cushions in here, facing each other so I chose a random one and sat, setting my bag down next to my leg.
He did the same, watching me closely before speaking.
“I fear you don’t understand the gravity of what you have done,” he began, raising his hand to stop me from interjecting before continuing, “and while I can’t possibly blame you, I have to criticise your choices.”
His hand went down.
“I didn’t think coming to the office will be a problem. As I said, I’m just more comfortable seeing my employer in pers-” I said before he cut me off.
“Coming to see me, or the company is not the problem. I’m afraid, moving down here is.”
“I’m saying, you shouldn’t have been too eager to move down here,” he said, clarifying his previous statement.
“Why not?” I asked, confused. There was an annoyance building underneath the surface but I suppressed it.
He looked at me for a long while and I began to feel uncomfortable. The air was tense with unsaid words before he sighed heavily. He got up from the chair and paced around the room for a few seconds before stopping in front of the door. Reaching into an inner pocket on his dressing gown, he retrieved something I couldn’t quite see before tapping on the glass with his index finger.
The other employees turned their head in unison and I saw their faces contort from the joyous look they had just seconds ago to absolute terror. A wail of anguish escaped from Maggie as she fell to the ground and crawled backwards as if trying to run away from Michael. David began to sob uncontrollably, Jorge started to pray in what I can only assume is his mother tongue while Lucas remained frozen on the spot, his face pale.
I swallowed heavily and slowly got back to my feet. Michael was blocking the door and I considered pushing him away and running for my dear life when he turned to me.
“What you’re seeing outside is why,” he said in a resigned voice.
My mouth opened to question his statement when I saw that he was holding a piece of glass. I looked closer and saw it was a mirror and for a fleeting moment, I saw a flash of green eyes in the mirror. Just as I was about to say something, Michael pocketed the mirror before hitting himself on the head.
“Stupid,” I heard him mutter to himself.
“I think I’m coming down with a sickness,” I said, my voice rising higher than I intended.
“That’s a lie but no matter. You can go home. You can try to hide or slander me on the internet. It won’t make a difference. You won’t be leaving the city in any case,” he said, moving out of the way for me.
I flashed a brief smile at him before exiting the glass room. I sped up as I left the floor, taking the stairs two steps at a time. I unfastened the locks on the main door, as fast as my fingers could, and ran into the road.
He really had gone crazy. And he was working with crazies too.
I returned to the bus stop and waited. I couldn’t relax, especially as I was still only across the road from the building. As my eye shifted from one end of the road to the other, gut instinct told me to look up and I did, catching Michael’s gaze through an office’s window. I shivered almost instantly and the roar of a bus coming pulled my attention away.
My hands stopped shaking as the door to the bus opened up and I greeted the friendly driver who welcomed me in. As I fished for the coins for the fare in my pocket, he spoke with some concern in his voice.
“You alright, lad? You look like you’ve just seen the corner demon.”
I gave him a weak smile, unsure of what reply I should give. I had never heard of the phrase before and I don’t think I want to. Putting the coins in his hands, I walked past him. He laughed gently and I took the seat closest to the door. At this point, it would be best to just get home. Maybe re-strategise or something.
I had spent the last four hours researching about broken mirrors, discussing the superstition and trying to understand why it seems to be a thing in this village. And so far, I still didn’t have an answer. The superstition proclaimed seven years of bad luck to anyone who broke a mirror. That was the standard. Some of the forums I had been on, had argued that the number of years was contextual this, and that. Wiccan practitioners had gone on and on about how to ‘shield’ oneself from the bad energy and all that nature-loving tree-hippie bullshit.
Even more frustrating was the absence of any mention of the corner demon. I can’t remember why I checked that one, seeing as it was a passing comment from the driver, but still. It was a weird phrase to use. I figured it could be a village thing.
I had explained the day’s activity on enough web pages, that I’m probably being tracked. Still, I’ve more or less at the lost my new job before it even started. I mean, the office had been weird and the screaming, crying coworkers was weirder still but I needed the job. I needed the money. It had cost a lot to move down here. And as it stood, I’d go for broke to move back out.
My apartment was still in the process of being sold so I could have probably moved back into it to get my bearings for a few months. My phone vibrated again and I saw the notification of Michael’s email flash. I dismissed it, unlocking the phone to order some lunch for myself. I hadn’t gotten around to do some shopping yet so takeaway is really all I had.
I placed my order for some burger and fries, the same as I had the night before with the Brunderbergs when they came over to say hello. Mary had done some lasagne and brought some over but I was saving that for work. But I am unemployed so maybe I’d have it for dinner.
I shook away the thought, choosing to dive back into my search and I have to say, the amount of delusion it took for people to make up non-existent beings was something to truly behold. I scrolled through pages and pages of demons and their names and nicknames and secondary names until it was beginning to grate on me. Grown adults talking and worshipping fictional imageries. It was asinine.
But I did find one, on a weird website, that was along the lines of what I was looking for.
The Corner Green-eyed.
I chuckled at the name before reading the description underneath it.
This demon is a lesser-known demon with powers over perceptions, illusions and hallucinations. It is rarely seen but flits from place to place every couple thousand years. It prefers to hide in vanity items, using that as it’s a lure to trap unsuspecting souls to its torture.
The most common-
I jumped in fright as a knock on my door repeats itself. I released a nervous chuckle before jogging to the front door, cash in hand. I opened it to see a young delivery guy with my lunch and I smiled at him. He smiled back, handed me my food and I, in turn, gave him the money.
“Hey!” I said as he turned. He stopped and looked at me, his brow raised in question.
“Kinda don’t want to be a pest but can I ask you a question?” I asked and he nodded, walking back towards me so I continued, “I only just moved here yesterday. I used to live here a long time ago but moved out. But I’m back now.”
He nodded faster, in the way that told me to get to the point.
“Is there anything I need to know about?”
“Just the basics, really. Bus times are erratic. People are generally peaceful. And we don’t really do parties down here,” he said, shrugging.
“That all?”
“All I know, mate,” he replied.
“Alright...erm… One last one. Do you or have you ever heard anything about the corner d-”
The man in front of me paled so quickly, I thought he was dying. I moved towards him but he darted away from me, muttering an apology of some sort and racing back to his car. The car sped away before I could do anything and I scratched my head at the whole interaction.
“We don’t really talk about stuff like that down here,” a voice called from my left and I nearly jump out of my skin. My nerves were really all over the place.
“Mrs Brunderberg!” I exclaimed, a bit too loudly for my liking.
“We’re a superstitious lot, Mr…,” she said, trailing off.
“Mr Multer. Do forgive me, dear. The village doesn’t respond well to questions like those.”
“I only asked the one,” I said.
“I know, deary. I was watching while I did me garden. Jonathan usually does it, but he says his back is a tad weak so I offered to do it for him. Figured he could rest and have some tea while I do. But don’t you worry about it. You go enjoy your lunch now, Mr…”
“Multer.” I stifled the annoyance growing in me.
“Mr Multer. Cheerio!” she said as she walked back into her house.
I returned to the house and locked it as securely as I could, using one of the couches I bought as a barricade against the door. I sat there, with my laptop and a burger in hand. My phone vibrated again and I read the text message this time. I felt it was important.
Michael: You will have to reply to me sometime
Me: What the fuck is wrong with everyone?
Michael: That’s not an over-the-phone conversation. You will need to come to work.
Me: Fuck that, okay? I don’t trust you.
Me: I don’t even trust my neighbours and they haven’t creeped me out as you have.
Me: What did you do to the other four?
Michael: ...I honestly can’t talk to you about it.
Me: Okay then, genius. Riddle me this. Who’s the Corner Green-Eyed?
Michael: It’s far too soon for you to know that.
Michael: Come to work. I’ll give you the rundown.
Me: No. Not today. Not anymore.
Michael: Trust me. Your curiosity is going to work against you.
Michael: Finding about what you just asked me is not something to do on your, what, second day back in the village?
Me: I’ll think about coming tomorrow.
Michael: Come early. Come quick. Don’t dawdle in front of the mirror tomorrow morning.
Michael: Better yet... Don’t use it.
A heavy sigh escaped me as I tried to calm the quiet panic bubbling underneath the surface. I had questions that needed answering and I don’t currently trust anyone to provide me with honest ones. Michael was weird. The Brunderbergs were weird. The bus driver, the delivery guy, the wide smiles on everyone.
The burger was bland in my mouth and I gave up on eating. Figured a sleep would do me good instead. It was the only option that didn’t make me sick with worry.
By the time I awoke, it was night time, and the watch on my hand was telling me that it’s 9 pm. I groggily got to my feet and dragged my ass to the bathroom. Wiping away the drool from the corner of my mouth, I took a look at my reflection and wondered why I looked dishevelled. With the likelihood of sleeping the rest of the night away low, I poured some water on my face and brushed my hair back. Some colour returned to my cheeks and I smiled.
I stretched, yawning as I considered what I wanted to do with my night when I saw it. At the corner of my mirror, was a pair of sharp green eyes peeking out from behind the counter, staring back at me. I locked gaze with it for what seems like minutes after which I became aware that my mind was screaming questions at me. And with the awareness, I blinked and the eyes were gone.
My breathing became shallow as the questions became clearer in my mind. Why was there a pair of green eyes staring back at me from inside the mirror? Inside the fucking mirror? Why did it wait till I blinked to disappear? Am I hallucinating? More importantly, why did my reflection not turn when I did?
I hear the sound of something crackling and I jerked away from the counter. At the same corner, where I had seen the pair of eyes looking up at me, there’s a small crack on the mirror.
submitted by Shadowyugi to WritingPrompts [link] [comments]

2018.11.10 16:38 r3jjs Best option for peer-to-peer messaging? (High latency is OK)

I am looking to write a two-player battleship game. The game itself will be hosted on a web-based chat site whose tech stack dates from the 90's.
I've got several options for how to handle player-to-player communication, but I'd like some feedback.
submitted by r3jjs to webdev [link] [comments]

2018.09.24 14:43 Anonymous_1-2-3-4-5 MCU Movies Behind the Scenes Facts *Wanted to do this for fun* Day 13: Captain America: Civil War

So i'm going to go on IMDB and look at each MCU movies behind the scenes facts and POST THE MOST INTERESTING ONES here, I will post each movie a day instead of what I did before where I did 10 posts, I will start with the first Iron Man and each day will be the next MCU movie after it, ending with Guardians 3, I will also do the Netflix Shows, Agents of Shield and Agent Carter


1. The day before filming a fight scene with Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan sent him a video of himself doing intense bicep curls in front of the decapitated head of an Iron Man suit. He attached the message, "Looking forward to our scene tomorrow Robert".

2. T'Challa had a much smaller role in the earlier drafts and did not even appear in costume, as the writers intended to put more focus on Spider-Man, and save Black Panther's origin for his own movie. However, when it looked like Marvel would not be getting permission to use Spider-Man, Black Panther's role was beefed up significantly. By the time they did get to use Spider-Man, T'Challa had already become so integral to the plot, that they decided to leave his role as it was, and give Spider-Man a smaller part.

3. Tom Holland commented on how intimidated he was when he came to screentest for Spider-Man, saying that Robert Downey Jr. took him aside and said, "Listen, I remember my screentest for Iron Man. I remember how terrified I was. Just think of it as an audition. It's nothing too scary. If you get it wrong, we'll just start again. No pressure."

4. The finalists for the Spider-Man role did separate screen tests with Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr., with the intent of seeing whose chemistry fit the best with Evans and Downey.

5. Sebastian Stan revealed that the backpack that Bucky is seen wearing in the trailers, contains journals that he has put together of his scattered memories.

6. When the production of the film wrapped, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie raced each other while in their superhero suits.

7. (At around one hour and nineteen minutes) Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) remarks how attractive Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) is. Downey and Tomei had a relationship in the 1990s, and appeared in two other films together: Chaplin (1992) and Only You (1994).

8. The film coincides with the 75th Anniversary of Captain America, the 10th Anniversary of the original Civil War comic book, and Black Panther's 50th Anniversary.

9. In the film, the Falcon utilizes a falcon drone called Redwing. In the mainstream Marvel comics, Redwing was an actual falcon, which was Sam Wilson's sidekick.

10. Chris Evans revealed that he was hesitant to take the role of Captain America early on, but now considers it one of the best decisions he has ever made.

11. (At around one hour and thirty-five minutes) One scene shows Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) being boosted by an arrow from Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). This is taken directly from the comics, specifically The Avengers #223.

12. (At around one hour and nineteen minutes) Co-Director Joe Russo said that "The most powerful shot of the film" was Steve Rogers stopping a helicopter from taking off, with his bare hands. The shot was featured in the first teaser trailer for this movie. Russo said Chris Evans worked very hard in the gym to physically embody the character, because they wanted to test the limits of Steve's physical strength. About the shot itself, he noted, "On-set, we had Chris straining against a crane, holding the helicopter to get this fantastic shot of his muscles bulging, and you can feel the energy and determination as he tries to stop it."

13. This movie revealed that Bucky Barnes had been hiding out in Bucharest, which is the capital of Romania. Sebastian Stan (Bucky) is a Romanian-American actor, who was born in Constanta, Romania, and raised there until he was eight. In the first scene set in Bucharest, Bucky is buying fruits from a street market. Stan's native language is Romanian, and therefore spoke it perfectly.

14. Spider-Man was very nearly removed from the film, as Sony Pictures originally rejected Marvel's proposal to allow them a cut of the profit if they could pull Spider-Man over, but Sony Corporation expressed disappointment in the financial returns and the critical reception of The Amazing Spider-Man series and decided to negotiate a deal again.

15. Screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely's original idea for this movie was a vastly different and much smaller film without the other Avengers, but Producer Kevin Feige suggested they adapt Civil War instead. Certain parts of their original idea still made into the movie, such as the emphasis on Steve and Bucky's relationship, as well as the use of Baron Zemo as the villain.

16. Tom Holland is the youngest person to portray Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man, on-screen, at nineteen years old.

17. The film shows a bond beginning to form between Scarlet Witch and Vision, who were married for a while in the comic books.

18. Chadwick Boseman (T'Challa, a.k.a. Black Panther) underwent a vigorous training program to get in fighting shape for the character. While admittedly not a big reader of comics as a kid, Boseman read as many comics as possible for anything Black Panther-related. Boseman also recycled the Xhosa accent he learned for Message from the King (2016), for the character.

19. Samuel L. Jackson was "surprised" to discover that Nick Fury would not be in the film after "the Russo Brothers told him he was." Executive Producer Nate Moore stated that Fury was not included "because he didn't add anything to the Civil War story they were telling."

20. In an interview, Daniel Brühl (Zemo) said the budget for this movie was so huge, that you could make twenty films from it.

21. Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Evans described the dynamic between Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, and Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, as a marriage, saying, "We love each other, but it's explosive. You're working toward the same goal, but you have very different approaches to it. It's blurry, and that's what makes it great. No one's right, no one's wrong. It's going to make it even harder for them to come to an agreement."

22. This was the longest Marvel film, at two hours and twenty-seven minutes, until Avengers: Infinity War (2018), at two hours and twenty-nine minutes.

23. Robert Downey Jr. acted as the younger Tony Stark, along with John Slattery and Hope Davis. Lola FX provided the "de-aging" visual effects on the face and hair of Downey with footage and photos of his early career as references.

24. In the post-credits scene, Peter's web shooter emits a light which strongly resembled the "Spidey Signal" seen in the comics. This is the debut of the Spidey Signal on-screen.

25. Anthony Mackie described the film as "The Avengers: Part 2.5". Jeremy Renner said it would be like an Avengers movie, due to a lot of characters being involved.

26. The appearance of Giant-Man was kept secretive throughout production and marketing, evident from the absence of said character in all trailers and television ads, but this movie's Funko Pop! figurines, and a Lego set, depicting the airport battle scene featured Giant-Man, was released and advertised before the movie's release date.

27. Tom Hiddleston confessed that even though he did not appear in the film, it contained one of his favorite moments in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the helicopter scene. He enthused, "I mean Chris Evans does a bicep curl, with a helicopter! If you don't love that, we can't be friends."

28. (At around one hour and nine minutes) Chris Evans injured his arm muscles while filming the iconic shot of Captain America holding back a helicopter with his hands. Evans said, "That shot is a little bit of bicep porn. 'Zoom in on the biceps', that's what the script said. Kevin Feige didn't airbrush my biceps, that's me. It's not a utilitarian shot, it's a shot where you're trying to look heroic. That position (of holding the helicopter with one hand and the ledge with another) is actually a very unnatural position to use to stop something, but we used it because I have to flex my bicep, you are trying to make the scene look great, and I genuinely messed my arm up doing that shot because of the strain." Robert Downey Jr. joked that the filmmakers didn't mind that Evans hurt himself because of how great the shot turned out, and they have been using it to promote the film ever since. Anthony Russo revealed that the iconic shot almost did not happen because on the day of the filming, there was a miscommunication with the Costume Department and Evans came in wearing a thick jacket. They immediately sent him back to change, because then they wouldn't have been able to film the shot of his muscles bulging as intended in the script.

29. The film was going to feature The Incredible Hulk, but he was shifted to Thor: Ragnarok (2017), and so the filmmakers chose Secretary of State Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt) in the film, as a substitute to illustrate the theme of destructive power: "We thought it would be interesting to use a character who had a fanatical anti-superhero point of view, built on experience. He's cornering The Avengers politically now, he's out-maneuvering them."

30. Mark Ruffalo was spotted on the set of this movie, thus sparking rumors of a potential Hulk appearance in it. But his role was ultimately cut from the final draft of the script.

31. Marvel initially wanted to hire Robert Downey Jr. to reprise Tony Stark as a small role, with just three weeks of work. However, Downey wanted a larger role, which would lead to a bigger payday. Marvel Entertainment CEO Ike Perlmutter was furious over the request, prompting him to order the screenwriters to write Tony Stark out of the script completely. When the deal seemed like it was off the table, Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige pushed to hire Downey, citing that his casting in the film could leave the door open for sequels, new franchises, and dramatic possibilities within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as this movie could drive future storylines for these films. As a result with Downey's casting, the actor received a substantial payout that included a back-end participation deal, and another payout if the film's box-office gross succeeded Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), which it did.

32. This is the live-action debut of T'Challa, the Black Panther, one of the first black superheroes in American comic books.

33. Chris Evans has stated that this film will set up Avengers: Infinity War (2018) and Avengers: Endgame (2019).

34. The filmmakers describe Bucky Barnes as a divided character, saying, "He's not Bucky Barnes anymore, he's not the Winter Soldier anymore. He's something in-between. There's a part of his personality that was under mind control, and he murdered a lot of people. So he has a very complicated history. Who is that person? How does that character move forward?"

35. In all three Captain America films, Bucky falling into a body of water represents a major change to the character. In Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), falling into the Potomac marks the beginning of his recovery. In this movie, falling into the river in Germany makes him realize the brainwashing still affects him. He also falls into a river during his "death scene" in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), which marks his transformation into an assassin, but this is not revealed until the second film.

36. Costume Designer Judianna Makovsky revealed that for all of Chris Evans' scenes, where he is in regular outfits (outside the suit), they purposefully made him wear t-shirts, which are many sizes smaller than his actual size, so that his muscles pop on camera. Evans said all of his t-shirt scenes are scheduled at the start of the filming, because he loses a lot of weight over the months it takes to film a Marvel movie. He said, especially, that filming the action scenes wearing the Captain America suit, makes him lose a lot of his size.

37. The Black Panther costume is a combination of a practical costume and visual effects.

38. During the airport fight scene, a truck has the Bluth family logo. It is the same "stair car" (portable staircase for an airplane) that was the subject of many running jokes on Arrested Development (2003). The Russo Brothers, the directors of this movie, also directed the pilot, and many other episodes of Arrested Development (2003).

39. Paul Bettany describes the Vision as exploring what it means to be human and what love is: "The only way one can guarantee one's loyalty is love."

40. (At around one hour and fifty-five minutes) When Steve and Bucky remember going on a double date in Brooklyn when they were younger, Cap mentions Bucky's date was a redhead named Dolores, with the nickname "Dot". That description fits with one of Peggy Carter's nemeses from Agent Carter (2015), Dottie Underwood, also exploited as a weapon by the Soviets.

41. This movie marks the beginning of Phase Three in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and is the thirteenth film overall.

42. Hope van Dyne was going to become The Wasp in an earlier draft of the script, but she was removed, due to concerns that reducing her role to a cameo alongside the other characters would be a disservice to her as a character. The fact that Evangeline Lilly was pregnant at the time also probably influenced the decision.

43. In the mid-credits scene, waterfalls are shown in the kingdom of Wakanda. These scenes were filmed at the Iguazú Falls in Misiones, Argentina.

44. (At around two hours and five minutes) The image near the end of the film, of Iron Man blasting Captain America's raised shield, is an homage to the Civil War part seven comic book cover.

45. (At around thirty-three minutes) The speech which Sharon Carter makes at Peggy's funeral, is taken from a speech which Captain America made in Amazing Spider-Man #537 - "Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - No, you move."

46. Tom Holland made audition tapes together with Jon Bernthal while filming Pilgrimage (2017), with Holland landing the role of Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man, and Bernthal the role of Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher, in Daredevil (2015).

47. Chris Evans refuted claims that his biceps were CGI enhanced for the film's famous helicopter shot. He instead prepped a lot in lieu of artificial enhancement saying, "That was really my arm, and you know what, I took a page of Anthony Mackie's book. When we were doing Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), for certain scenes, I worked out just before the take, but there were a bunch of scenes where I was the only one out of the cast doing it, and I'd be embarrassed, and feel shame. So I didn't do it that often, and then we started Civil War, and Mackie has no shame. Before each take, Mackie's just curling weights non-stop and I thought, 'Yeah! What are you doing Chris? Just curl some weights! Who cares? I am not going to worry about twenty people judging me, as opposed to two hundred million people seeing the scene forever.' So before the helicopter scene, I lifted a lot of weights to get pumped. It's not like I woke up and I looked like that, that was me lifting weight for hours on end prior to filming that scene. There certainly was a lot of pressure. I was fully aware of what they wanted that shot to be. I wanted that shot to be great too."

48. Thor and The Incredible Hulk's absences in the film were explained in Thor: Ragnarök (2017).

49. Marisa Tomei was in her fifties when portraying Aunt May, in contrast to Rosemary Harris being in her seventies in Spider-Man (2002) and Sally Field in her sixties in The Amazing Spider-Man (2012).

50. (At around one hour and twenty-four minutes) Wanda (Scarlet Witch) can disable the Vision, because she received her powers from the mind stone. One of Vision's powers is to manipulate his body density, so he can become phantasmal, or stronger than diamonds. She made him so dense, that he became too heavy to move, and fell through the floor.

51. Spider-Man's suit design is based on his original look in the comics when he debuted in 1962. The goggles change size to reflect Spider-Man's expressive eyes in the comics, and also allow him to hone his senses and focus.

52. In the Civil War comic book series, Tony Stark builds Spider-Man an "Iron Spider" suit. It's red and gold, and laden with armor and gadgets. In this film, Spider-Man receives a suit in his normal red and blue cloth attire, but it does have gadgets.

53. According to Lola VFX, the visual effects studio who have worked on all three Captain America movies, in order to create the "young Tony Stark" illusion: "Every feature of the face and body needed to be addressed in some fashion. One thing that happens to all of us is that the skin of the face gradually lowers in certain areas, and needs to be 'lifted' back to where it was at the age in question. But other changes are incredibly subtle, such as increase in the way light reflects off the sheen of the skin, a reduction in the appearance of tiny blood vessels under the surface of some parts of the face, or more blood flow in the cheeks giving them that familiar youthful 'glow'. The shot was nearly four thousand frames long, with Tony Stark turning from one side to the other multiple times, physically interacting with other actors, and the set itself, and moving closer to the camera for a very long, uninterrupted close-up."

54. (At around one hour and forty-five minutes) When F.R.I.D.A.Y. shows Tony Stark the photos of Zemo, he asks if she's run facial recognition, to which she replies "What do I look like?" He said, "I don't know. I've been picturing a redhead." Kerry Condon, who voiced F.R.I.D.A.Y., is a redhead.

55. Marisa Tomei is the third Oscar-nominated actress to play Aunt May. Rosemary Harris is an Oscar nominee, and Sally Field is an Oscar winner (Tomei won an Oscar as well).

56. Costume Designer Judianna Makovsky said her favorite character to design, was Paul Bettany's Vision. She said she dressed him very stylishly, with elegant cashmere sweaters and cardigans, and gave him one of the "dandiest accessories", an ascot. She said that even though it might not be visible in the movie, he's wearing an ascot in most of his civilian scenes.

57. By the end of the movie, The Avengers logo on Captain America's arm is no longer there, representing the fact that The Avengers are no longer his.

58. After the "Civil War" crossover event in Marvel comics was complete, another big crossover event was "Secret Invasion", which revealed that the shape-shifting alien villains, The Skrulls, had been replacing key people in government and the super powered community for decades, and that they are at least partially to blame for leading to the events of the civil war as a means to soften human society for a full-scale invasion. Since the Skrulls are villains of the Fantastic Four, it had been assumed that Disney and Marvel could not use them in future films, but it was later discovered with the announcement of Captain Marvel (2019), that Skrulls can be used by Marvel Studios, as long as they don't include specific ones owned by FOX. However, the idea of a "secret invasion" in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is already very close to what happened when H.Y.D.R.A. revealed they grew inside S.H.I.E.L.D.

59. Zemo is the first primary antagonist of the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies to not be an enhanced supervillain. However, the first one ever, in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was Wilson Fisk, a.k.a. Kingpin, on Netflix's Daredevil (2015).

60. (At around one hour and twenty-seven minutes) On The Late Late Show with James Corden (2015), Paul Rudd admitted that much of Ant-Man's star struck reactions to meeting Captain America and his allies, were greatly based on his own real first reactions upon meeting those cast members. He even owned up to the inappropriate "arm fondling" bit, though it was in fact Sebastian Stan's mechanical arm he was so interested in, rather than Captain America's, as depicted in the film.

61. The title of this movie was jokingly announced as "Captain America: Serpent Society" during the announcement of Marvel Phase 3.

62. A large part of the film is set in Romania, where Sebastian Stan (Bucky Barnes) was born and where he lived until he was eight.

63. Unlike her previous Marvel movies, Scarlett Johansson never appeared for interviews, premieres, press conferences or any other events to promote the film.

64. In the Blu-ray commentary, they verify that the drawer, in which Bucky gets the gun, in Siberia, is labled "Romanov", and is Natasha's.

65. The Wakandan language spoken by King T'Chaka and Prince T'Challa is Xhosa, a native language of many South Africans.

66. (At around two hours and ten minutes) During the Battle of the H.Y.D.R.A. Siberian Facility, when Captain America is asked by Iron Man to stand down, he responds, "I could do this all day." This is phrase is also said twice in Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), when Steve Rogers is beaten by a bully in an alley, and later by Red Skull. Rogers is rescued or helped directly after the sentence is stated.

67. Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross' first appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since his debut in The Incredible Hulk (2008). To date, that is the longest gap between a character's appearances in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (eight years). Despite the long absence, William Hurt reprised the role, though Ross is now Secretary of State, as opposed to a General in The Incredible Hulk (2008). This also makes William Hurt the first actor from The Incredible Hulk (2008) to return in a later Marvel Cinematic Universe film, aside from Robert Downey Jr. and Stan Lee, who had cameos in The Incredible Hulk (2008).

68. The words to activate Bucky were, "Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight Car". Most of these words had a meaning specific to him, and some have meaning in the MCU (such as "Homecoming" alluding to "Spider-man Homecoming").

69. The Spider-Man suit in this movie was influenced by Steve Ditko and John Romita Sr.. The extra dark shading around the eyes and web cartridges on his belt are few of the minor updates.

70. No CGI was used during the highway chase scene when Bucky commandeers a moving motorcycle from under its rider, the whole stunt was practical.

71. The Vision's civilian clothing (slacks, sweater, Ascot) was inspired by 1940s actor Cary Grant's attire.

72. In the comics, while Spider-Man started off on Iron Man's side, he later shifted over to Captain America's side after learning that the Pro-Registration Side was imprisoning the captured unregistered heroes in a prison built in another dimension known as the "Negative Zone", against their will, without due process (as it is technically not on American soil) until they agreed to register. In this movie, he fights on Iron Man's side, before being sent home by Iron Man after the battle at the airport in Germany.

73. Despite the animosity between their characters, Anthony Mackie (Falcon) and Sebastian Stan (Bucky) are very close friends in real-life.

74. Ragnarök (Thor's clone) is an integral part of the comic version of Civil War, but not the movie.

75. (At around one hour and seven minutes) While fighting Bucky Barnes, Black Widow tells him, "You could at least recognize me." This may be a reference to a storyline in the comics, involving the link between the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow programs that enhanced them both with biotech. It may also be a reference to their comic romantic involvement, or it refers to the Marvel Cinematic Universe story she told in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), of being shot by him while on a mission, and various scenes in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), when he was trying to kill her.

76. Tom Hollands chatty, excited portrayal of Spider-Man in battle is closer to his comic counterpart than previous iterations of the character.

77. This is the fourth movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to gross over one billion dollars worldwide.

78. Daniel Brühl (Helmut Zemo) dubbed himself in the German dubbing of the movie.

79. Filming started on May 7, 2015, in Atlanta, Georgia. The cast was working in ninety degree Fahrenheit (thirty-two degree Celcius) weather in costume.

80. (At around fifty-seven minutes) In the film, when Bucky, Captain America, Falcon, and Black Panther are first captured, Bucky is placed in a cell marked "D23". "D23" is the official fan club for The Walt Disney Company and the fourth D23 Expo was held on August 14-16, 2015 at the Anaheim Convention Center in Anaheim, California, where the first footage from the film was screened.

81. Mutants (such as the X-Men) play a part in the original comic book story, as human society had always held a prejudice against mutant-kind, while also being accepting of non-mutant heroes. When the tide turns against all powered people, some characters view it as fitting, since non-mutant heroes had it easy for so long, and others view it as troubling. Since Twentieth Century Fox owns the rights to the Marvel concept of "mutants", this wasn't a part of the film.

82. (At around forty-three minutes) When Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier) is in Bucharest, Romania, he is shown to be buying plums at a fruit market. Plums are beneficial in treating those with Alzheimer's disease, which therefore is suitable for Bucky, because he has been brainwashed, and is trying to remember his life before becoming the Winter Soldier.

83. (At around one hour and twenty minutes) During his meeting with Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Peter Parker (Tom Holland) tells him that he's only had his powers as Spider-Man for six months, clarifying the character's lack of involvement in previous Marvel Cinematic Universe films.

84. With a budget of two hundred fifty million dollars, this movie is tied as the fourth-most expensive superhero movie ever made, after Justice League (2017) (three hundred million dollars), Superman Returns (2006) (two hundred seventy million dollars), and Spider-Man 3 (2007) (two hundred fifty-eight million dollars).

85. According to the commentary, Cap dropping the shield foreshadows the appearance of the Nomad costume, a short period in the 1970s comics, where Cap continued to act as a hero without government sanction.

86. According to the Russo Brothers, the title for this movie has been in existence for over a decade.

87. The words "Homecoming" and "Seventeen", in Winter Soldier's H.Y.D.R.A. command, reference the title and date of release of Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017).

88. Spider-Man has two costumes in this movie, his original makeshift one he's seen wearing in YouTube footage, and which Tony Stark eventually finds in Peter's apartment, and his new costume, created with Tony's collaboration, which more closely resembles the classic costume.

89. Ant-Man's helmet design has changed since the last movie. In Ant-Man (2015), the face-mask was in two parts. In this movie, the mask comes off as a solid piece.

90. Vision, Hawkeye, Ant-Man, and Scarlet Witch weren't part of the original comic book storyline. The first three were dead at the time, while Wanda was missing and insane.

91. Although Spider-Man's suit was composed of CGI for every scene, a physical prototype Spider-Man suit was built during production, that Tom Holland wore on-set during some filming. It wasn't until later, that the filmmakers decided to scrap the suit altogether, and replace it with a CGI version. The prototype suit differed from the final product on-screen, as it featured raised webbing, and a classic spider symbol, which was very reminiscent of the symbol shown in the very first Spider-Man comic, released in 1962.

92. Alfre Woodard plays Miriam, the mother of a young man who was killed during the events in Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) in Sokovia. In the Civil War comic book, Miriam's son (named Damian, who was in grade school in the comics) was killed when a battle that reached his school between the super hero team New Warriors and some bad guys, (including Nitro, whose powers include him being able to explode and reconstitute himself afterward) destroyed a nearby school bus, causing a large gas explosion that destroyed the school, which caused hundreds of deaths, and was the impetus for the Superhero Registration Act.

93. Peter Parker's homemade costume resembles Ben Reilly's Scarlet Spider original costume from the comics, but with inversed colors.

94. This is the first movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe where Tony Stark used only one Iron Man suit. In Iron Man (2008), Tony used the Mark I to escape the cave, the Mark II to experiment with the tech, and the Mark III to attack the Ten Rings, and his final battle with Stane. In Iron Man 2 (2010), Tony used the Mark IV at the beginning, the Mark V during his fight with Vanko at the Grand Prix, and the Mark VI in the final battle. In The Avengers (2012), Tony used the Mark VI for most of the movie, and then utilizes the Mark VII for the battle of New York City. In Iron Man 3 (2013), Tony used the Mark XLII, the silver centurion armor, the Mark XL and the "Heartbreaker" armor in his battle with Killian. In Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Tony utilized the Mark XLIII in the opening scene, and in his initial battle with Ultron. Then Tony used the Mark XLIV (Hulkbuster) armor against The Incredible Hulk in South Africa. Finally, Tony uses the Mark XLV in the battle of Sokovia. In this movie, Tony only used the Mark XLVI.

95. This is the fourth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe to feature a pre-Marvel Studios logo "cold open" scene. The first was Iron Man 3 (2013), the second was Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), and the third was Ant-Man (2015).

96. Co-Director Joe Russo cited Se7en (1995) and Fargo (1996) as influences on this film.

97. (At around thirty-three minutes) Part of Sharon Carter's eulogy for Peggy Carter was written as part of the Marvel Civil War in the Spider-Man comics by J. Michael Straczynski, Writer and Creator of Babylon 5 (1994), and credited for the story for Thor (2011). The speech comes from an inspirational speech Captain America gave to Spider-Man during the Marvel Civil War, to explain why he continues to fight against the Superhuman Registration Act, when the country he represents is all for it. As a child, Captain America memorized a monologue that influenced his understanding of what it meant not only to be a patriot, but what it really meant to be an American. The whole philosophy stems from the writing of Mark Twain, in a monologue known as, "In a Republic, who is the Country?"

98. Tom Holland slightly hurt his nose while doing a flip during the filming of a scene.

99. This was the first theatrically released film, featuring Spider-Man, where the visual effects for the character are not being produced by another company affiliated with Sony, the rights holder to Spider-Man. Industrial Light & Magic, which handles much of the special effects for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, produced the visual effects.

100. Earlier drafts of a third Captain America film, had Brock Rumlow, a.k.a. Crossbones, secretly working as a mercenary for the Red Skull (just like in the comics), but these ideas were scrapped and re-worked, when the filmmakers decided to follow the "Civil War" storyline.

101. As of September 2018, this is the only Marvel Cinematic Universe movie featuring Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross without Bruce Banner.

102. On October 13, 2014, it was announced that Robert Downey Jr. would be joining the cast of this film, and that it would follow the Civil War storyline.

103. Heidi Moneymaker and Aaron Toney (Super Soldiers #3 and #4) are stunt doubles that have appeared in many Marvel movies: Moneymaker has been Scarlett Johansson's (Black Widow's) stunt double since Iron Man 2 (2010), and Toney has been the stunt double for Anthony Mackie (Falcon), Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther), and Michael B. Jordan (Erik Killmonger).

104. Robert Downey Jr.'s seventh appearance as Tony Stark (counting his cameo in The Incredible Hulk (2008)).

105. The reported six finalists for the role of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) were Tom Holland, Asa Butterfield, Judah Lewis, Matt Lintz, Charlie Plummer, and Charlie Rowe.

106. Multiple references to different themes that aren't related to the Marvel Cinematic Universe are made throughout this movie: While confined, Falcon tells Iron Man to bring Mark Fuhrman if he wants him to talk (Mark Fuhrman was a key part in the 1994 to 1995 O.J. Simpson trial, having been thought to frame the football player because of his hatred towards black people), and during the final scene in Siberia, Iron Man calls Bucky Barnes "Manchurian Candidate", referring to the twice-filmed novel, in which American soldiers were brainwashed.

107. This is the first theatrical movie to have Spider-Man team up with other Marvel superheroes.

108. Bucky's code name "Winter Soldier" could have multiple sources of meaning. Winter could represent his maintenance, as he is kept on ice whenever he's inactive. It could represent that he is a relic from The Cold War, or that his humanity was stripped, to make him the coldest of assassins.

109. Marks the sixth collaboration between Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson in twelve years, following The Perfect Score (2004), The Nanny Diaries (2007), The Avengers (2012), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), and Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015).

110. (At around one hour and forty minutes) When Redwing hits Iron Man in the head during the airport scene, a circle of "feathers", possibly shrapnel, can be seen, as a reference to when characters are hit in cartoons or comics.

111. Certain clips form the airport scene were re-shot at a different angle from Spider-Man's perspective and used in the opening "video diary" scene in Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017).

112. The Raft, in the comics, is a facility in New York City, which is part of Ryker's Island Penitentiary, that is designed to hold captured supervillains, which is run by S.H.I.E.L.D. In the film, it is located somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, and run by the U.S. Military instead, as S.H.I.E.L.D. has been disbanded. Notably, the first storyline of the New Avengers series, which started not long before the Civil War crossover event began, involving the prison riot, was actually the Raft's first appearance in the comics. While the Raft was not used in the original Civil War comic book storyline to hold the captured superheroes, it was mentioned though.

113. Logan Lerman, Dylan O'Brien, and Asa Butterfield (among many others) were considered for the role of Peter Parker.

114. (At around thirteen minutes) The young Tony Stark at the start of his M.I.T. presentation is the result of several months of CGI and modeling of Robert Downey Jr.. This was confirmed by Downey on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (2014).

115. Sebastian Stan packed on 28 pounds of muscle for the film. Boosting his weight from 172 pounds to a solid, muscular 200 pounds.

116. Every phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe starts with a film that features Tony Stark as at least one of the main characters. Phase One started with Iron Man (2008), Phase Two started with Iron Man 3 (2013), and Phase Three started with this movie.

117. Chad L. Coleman was considered for the role of T'Challa (Black Panther).

118. Like in the comics, this film demonstrates the most common side effect of all post-Erskine attempts to replicate the super-soldier formula: insanity.

119. (At around one hour and forty minutes) Spider-Man (Tom Holland) mentions Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) during the fight with Giant-Man (Paul Rudd). This is a very appropriate quote, as Marvel now has regained the rights to create Star Wars comic books (and has been doing so again since January 2015).

120. Although she is never mentioned as a mutant (Twentieth Century Fox owned the term rights at that time), Scarlet Witch is the only mutant among The Avengers in this movie, and she is seen with a collar when locked in Raft Prision, which can be a reference to the X-Gene Inhibitor Collar, created in the comics by Bolivar Trask to suppress mutant powers. The collar has been featured before in X-2: X-Men United (2003) and X-Men: Days Of Future Past (2014).


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2018.05.14 20:06 Brad239 5th Year Redraft looking for 1 active, dedicated owner. (Yahoo)

I know it's early to be recruiting for a redraft league, but we have a very active league consisting mostly of random internet strangers that has plenty of conversation going throughout the year (including the offseason). If you were to join, you would need to be someone that is active in all facets of fantasy football. We consistently have lots of trading every single year, and our league keeps getting more and more active each year so you would need to be someone who loves trying to make trades.
Our league has all communication on Slack (web/app message client), and if you were to join you would need to be someone who loves chatting with leaguemates. As a group we not only talk about football/fantasy football, but we also talk about baseball, basketball, music, movies/tv, and other random stuff.
I've been burned many times by inactive owners who haven't cared about our league so you would be joining on a trial basis at first. So if you're serious about joining I will send you an invite to our group's Slack. If you are active there (after a months time or sooner if I can tell you're active) I will throw you an invite to our league page on Yahoo. You don't need to be as chatty as some of us are (though that would be great), but too many times new recruits only chime in a time or two if that. We want someone who will actually try and fit in with us.
The settings/information is as follows:
League site: Yahoo
Owners : 12 team redraft (snake draft)
Draft date: TBD (every year it has been Labor Day weekend, usually Saturday 3/4 PM EST)
Roster: (1)QB-(3)WR-(2)RB-(1)TE-(1)Flex-K-DST-(6)Bench
Scoring: .5 PPR, 6 pt passing TD, everything else is basically standard
Waivers: FAAB $200 budget
Scheduling: 13 week regular season, Head 2 Head matchups
Playoffs: 6 teams, weeks 14, 15, 16, top 2 teams get bye
Entry fee: $50 via leaguesafe
Payouts: 1st- $290, 2nd- $110, 3rd- $50, most total points regular season- $160
If you're interested message me on here or send me an email at [email protected] letting me know you're interested. I will send you an invite to our groups slack at that time.
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2018.04.20 15:54 BryndenBFish (Spoilers Extended) "Keep Reading": Analyzing the So Spake Martin Archive for Future Story Hints, Conclusion: TWOW/ADOS/Future D&E


Hello there and welcome back to the concluding series of the Keep Reading: Analyzing the So Spake Martin Archive for Future Story Hints series where we're going though the So Spake Martin archive that Elio Garcia Jr and Linda Antonsson maintain and cultivate and looking at places where George RR Martin has said or hinted at upcoming events in a story before the event is featured in the story, and then, turn around and talk about how that event is revealed in the published version.
As we said last time: For those unfamiliar, the So Spake Martin archive is a running site listing every last damn thing George RR Martin has said about ASOIAF all the way from 1990 to the present. It's a great and valuable resource, and I encourage all of you to visit the site and take a gander at what's there if you've never done so.
My hope is that this may be of interest to those who love ASOIAF trivia, but also, we might be able to get a sense of the future of the story of ASOIAF from the hints that GRRM teases out.
Yesterday, we did ADWD and TWOIAF. Today, we're going to conclude with all the stuff GRRM has said about TWOW, ADOS and future D&E. Here's what
Something that I've noticed is that George was a lot more chatty with fans in the years preceding the release of AFFC. thereafter, the So Spake Martin archive gets a bit sparser. When the show rolls around, it becomes even more sparse with most of the stuff being links to interviews conducted by major publications.
That being said, I think you're all going to like this. There's a lot of information/hints about future story information that reinvigorate my anticipation for The Winds of Winter, A Dream of Spring and the future Dunk and Egg novellas.

TWOW and beyond

The Tower of Joy
Will there be any further explanation of the skirmish at the "Tower of Joy", by Howland Reed or whomever?
GRRM: Yes, in later volumes. - SSM, 12/28/1998
There most interesting question was about what Meera and Jojen Reed know about the Tower of Joy. George said that the Reeds might know something about it. - SSM, 7/9/2012
You'll need to wait for future books to find out more about the Tower of Joy and what happened there, I fear. I might mention, though, that Ned's account, which you refer to, was in the context of a dream... and a fever dream at that. Our dreams are not always literal. SSM, 1/2/2002
When Ned Stark and Howland Reed returned North from Dorne after the events at the Tower of Joy, etc. were they completely alone during that journey, or were they accompanied by some household guards, etc. for security?
GRRM: You'll likely learn more about Ned's homecoming in future books. It's a long way from Dorne to Winterfell, a journey of months. More than that I'd rather not reveal just now. SSM, 8/26/2000
The Tower of Joy comes up in Ned's tenth chapter in AGOT, but it's clear there's more to reveal down the road. We've seen a version of this in S06 and S07 of Game of Thrones, but there's the potential for more wrinkles in TWOW or ADOS. I'm also interested to find out whether Meera (or Jojen if he's not paste) have more to reveal to Bran down the road.
Jon's Parentage/Rhaegar and Lyanna
Rhaegar and Lyanna — well, that's a revelation that will need to wait for later volumes. But if you're uncertain about it, I am glad. One thing I wanted to do was suggest the uncertainty of truth. I mean, think about it — in our own world, we don't even know what happened between Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings — or between Bill Clinton and Paula Jones, for that matter. The truth of Rhaegar and Lyanna may be similarly elusive . . . for a time. - Event Horizon Chat with GRRM, 3/1999
GRRM: Jon's history will be revealed, yes. - 2000 GRRM Chat
Will we know in time, with certainty, the identity of Jon Snow's parents (I don't believe Edric Dayne's tale)? Personally, I really hope he's Lyanna and Rhaegar's son, despite looking so much like Eddard.
GRRM: Jon's parentage will be revealed eventually, yes. - SSM, 6/19/2001
Rhaegar is described by Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah Mormont as being melancholy and noble and honorable. That hardly strikes me as the kind of man who'd cheat on his wife, especially at such a public event as the tourney at Harrenhal. So why did he did he choose Lyanna as queen of love an beauty?
GRRM: Good question. - SSM, 6/19/2001
However, what are the Kingsguards doing fighting Eddard? Eddard would never hurt Lyanna, nor her child. The little one would be safe with Eddard as well, him being a close relative. So I ask you, was there someone else with Lyanna and Jon? Will we learn more about Rhaegar in the next book? Why did he take almost a year to join the fight against the rebels, or why did he kidnap Lyanna?
GRRM: You will learn more, but I can't promise it'll be in the next book. Keep reading. - SSM, 7/28/2012
[Will we learn more of Jon Snow's parentage?]
GRRM: Eventually, yes. - SSM, 4/20/2008
This is one of the most common questions that comes up in the So Spake Martin archive. As far back as 1999, GRRM was hinting that Rhaegar and Lyanna's relationship would have future revelations. In a NY Post article from 2014, GRRM said that he may reveal Jon's parentage in TWOW or ADOS.
Howland Reed Knows Too Much
We will meet Howland Reed, but not in the next book... he(Howland) knows just to much about the central mystery of the book... - SSM, 11/16/2000
At the Berkeley meeting, I asked if we'd be able to meet Howland Reed and while he said that there wouldn't be a POV most likely, we would get to know more about the man and his connection/knowledge to the Tower of Joy and Ned at Starfall. Well, I asked about his connection with Ned and at Starfall so he just said yes, we would, basically. - SSM, 11/11/2000
Does Howland know who Jon Snow's mother is?
GRRM: The Shadow knows. - SSM, 8/16/2002
It had been stated that Howland Reed would come out in The Winds of Winter, which is the 5th book. Will he still come in the 5th book (A Dance with Dragon)?
GRRM: He will appear eventually. - SSM, 9/1/2001
The central mystery of ASOIAF in GRRM's mind is very likely Jon's parentage, and when Howland Reed comes up in the story, it's likely his role will be to reveal it.
Ashara Dayne
As to your speculations about Catelyn and Ashara Dayne... sigh... needless to say, All Will Be Revealed in Good Time. I will give you this much, however; Ashara Dayne was not nailed to the floor in Starfall, as some of the fans who write me seem to assume. They have horses in Dorne too, you know. And boats (though not many of their own). - SSM, 6/11/1999
SOHP QUESTION: will we learn more about the Sword of Morning? And, can you tell me anything of Ashara Dayne to sock it to the R&L group?
ANSWER: Yes (regarding Sword of Morning); no comment about Ashara; and "Have some more cheetos." GRRM grin- SSM, 8/29/2002
Ashara Dayne's past and potential future (if she didn't actually commit suicide) look to have a lot more unfolding of detail and revelation in store.
The Tourney of Harrenhal
We will learn lots about the Harrenhal tourney in the next three books - SSM, 11/16/2000
I am also interested to learn more about what went down at Harrenhal.
Dunk's Descendants in ASOIAF
[Summary: ALANMAC asked if any of Dunk's descendants appear in A Song of Ice and Fire]
GRRM: Oh maybe - SSM, 1/7/1999
I asked GRRM if we'd met one of Dunk's descendents in the SoIaF, and he said Yes. I didn't ask him who, because I'd rather find out by reading or reason, only I'm lousy at the reasoning part and want to make you guys do it for me. - SSM, 11/8/200
In 2016, GRRM confirmed that Brienne of Tarth is a descendant of Ser Duncan the Tall. Of course, there are other folks who may descend from Dunk that we'll learn about. Hodor, Small Paul and the Cleganes may all descend from Dunk as well, and here's hoping there's confirmation that they or others will be revealed as much.
The King of Mummers/Harry the Heir
By the way I am rapidly heading for the privilege of a custom title on the aforementioned board you wouldn't have any ASOIAF related suggestions for a good title would you. I know I'm been cheeky but I had to ask since when am I going to get a chance to pick your brains.
GRRM: I am not sure what you mean by a "custom title." A title from the books? There are a few in the volume I'm presently working on that readers haven't seen yet... a guy who calls himself King of the Mummers, frinstance... another one who is called Harry the Heir... these are informal titles, though, on a par with the Knight of Flowers or the Kingslayer, and so on... - SSM, 3/2/2001
In Alayne I from TWOW, Harry the Heir is introduced. In TWOW, Mercy, the King of Mummers is introduced as part of Arya's Faceless Men training. Of note: it reads like the sample chapters we got were very old pre-5 year gap chapters that GRRM rewrote and is now including in TWOW.
The Fate of Tyrek Lannister
Simple question, really — will we ever find out what happened to the "Wetnurse", Tyriek?
GRRM: Yes, you will. I try not to leave too many loose ends. But sometimes you need to wait. - Event Horizon Chat with GRRM, 3/1999
Tyrek Lannister disappeared during the King's Landing riot in ACOK and hasn't been seen since. Jaime reports in ASOS that no one has found him and suspects his body may be in the Blackwater, but here, GRRM seems to indicate that the future of Tyrek Lannister will be a topic for future books.
Minor Character Returns to the Story
I have to get Sansa, Arya, and Bran a little older or I'm going to go nuts. And Rickon too. I didn't even try to write from a three year old's POV, but when he is a little older, he and Shaggy will be back in the tale. - Event Horizon Chat with GRRM, 3/1999
[Willl Hot Pie, Gendry, Nymeria, Rickon and Shaggy be seen again or mentioned in A Dance with Dragons, or later in the series?]
GRRM: Later in the series? Yes, to all of them. In DANCE? Yes to some, no to others. - SSM, 4/20/2008
Will we see Hot Pie in book #4.
GRRM: No, but perhaps in later books. - SSM, 8/29/2002
He mentioned once again his concern with the butterfly effect. And the influence that the series eventually could produce on his writings, he mentioned one character he might change a bit due to that (I think it is Osha). - SSM, 10/17/2010
Hot Pie will return, and I am already hungry. Rickon, Shaggydog and Osha are on Skagos per Wyman Manderly in ADWD. More recently, GRRM stated that we would see Osha again. He also indicated that unicorns would be in TWOW. (Unicorns are reportedly alive on Skagos). So, we'll see what Davos' POV chapters in TWOW brings with regard to Osha, Rickon and Shaggydog.
Green Men and the Isle of Faces
The green men and the Isle of Faces will come to the fore in later books. (Boy, it's tough to sneak anything by you guys.) - Event Horizon Chat with GRRM, 3/1999
I, too, am fascinated with the idea that the Green Men will return to the story and what plot wrinkles Martin will have for them.
Jon's Legitimization
Since Robb actually legitimized Jon and named him his heir for Winterfell and the North before the Red Wedding (granted no one knows about this and is still alive or free, the Greatjon knows as does Edmure, but I dont see them getting out of the Twins any time soon and Catelyn would probably die before telling anyone) does this make Jon's rejection of Stannis' offer moot?
GRRM: Edmure and the Greatjon are prisoners, true... but you are forgetting the envoys that Robb sent to Howland Reed... Galbart Glover, Maege Mormont, Jason Mallister... they are all alive and free. As to what is and is not moot... the key point is, only a =king= can legitimize a bastard...... - SSM, 8/6/2000
This looks to have an impact in TWOW. Somewhat more recently, GRRM said he would resolve issues from Robb's will in TWOW.
Jaime and Tyrion
Jaime was a great POV, I hope we can continue to see his point of view, and that he and Tyrion can reconcile sometime in the future.
GRRM: Jaime's POV will continue, definitely. A reconciliation... well, you'll have to wait and see. - SSM, 9/26/2000
In ADWD, Tyrion fantasizes about killing Jaime while Jaime dwells a lot on Tyrion's revelations about Cersei: "She's been fucking Lancel, Osney Kettleblack and Moonboy for all I know." Look for this to have a major impact for TWOW and beyond.
The Tunnel to Chataya's Brothel
For which Hand was dug the passage to Chataya's?
No comment. Feel free to theorize… - SSM, 11/26/2000
Someone asked about Tywin and whoring but he said he couldn't answer those kinds of questions from a platform and they will be better resolved in future books. - SSM, 1/9/2006
[Was Tywin the Hand who made the secret tunnel into Chataya's, to hide his visits?]
GRRM: Interesting theory. - SSM, 7/27/2008
GRRM provides a bit of narrative pathway in his answers about the tunnel to Chataya's to indicate that Tywin Lannister may have built the tunnel and that Tywin was involved with sex workers, but hopefully we'll see more in TWOW or beyond.
The Third Head of the Dragon
This third Targaryen might very well be -not- a Targaryen, to quote his exact words... "Three heads of the dragon... yes... but the third will not necessarily BE a Targaryen..." - SSM, 11/16/2000
Theories abound as to the third head of the dragon. Tyrion is often cited as the person GRRM is referring to. Bran as well.
Arya and Sansa
Arya was one of the first characters created. Sansa came about as a total opposite b/c too many of the Stark family members were getting along and familes aren't like that. Thus, Sansa was created; he ended by saying they have deep issues to work out. - SSM, 11/11/2000
Reads to me like Arya and Sansa will reunite in future books and will need to resolve their issues.
Winter is coming in TWOW
. I then got cute and asked him if Winter was ever gonna frickin' arrive. He said, "Yes. In Book 5: the Winds of Winter." - SSM, 11/8/2000
The really bad weather won't be along until THE WINDS OF WINTERS, but yes, there will definitely be a chill in the air come next book. - SSM, 3/11/2001
It kind of starts with snow falling in the Riverlands/KL at the end of AFFC/ADWD, but real winter is coming thereafter.
Larger Roles for the Starks
NG: You're very cruel to the Starks, inflicting all manner of agonies and bereavements on them. Is this process a necessary part of preparing them for their longer term roles in A Song of Ice and Fire?
GRRM: Maybe. Time will tell... time, and the books to come.
Sansa is in the process of becoming a player in the game of thrones, Arya is becoming an assassin, Bran is becoming the last greenseer. But a lot more will be coming for sure.
Littlefinger and the Freys
Technically speaking, the Freys are now bannermen of Petyr's yes... assuming that Tommen and Joffrey are regarded as legitimate kings, entitled to make such dispositions. In practice, it remains to be seen how deferential the Freys will be. - SSM, 1/3/2001
Question: Who is over lord of the Riverlands? (Since the Freys have Riverrun yet Littlefinger was named Lord Paramount).
GRRM: Littlefinger is the Lord of the Riverlands but that he is going to run into trouble. - SSM, 8/29/2002
So far in AFFC/TWOW, Littlefinger has only dealt with the Vale. It's quite possible we'll see him dealing with the Riverlands in TWOW after he secures the Vale.
Is the Broken Horn Joramun's Horn?
I think the broken horn that Ghost found with all the obsidian is the real horn of winter. It hasn't been mentioned yet though. Any comments?
Nope. Keep reading. - SSM, 2/1/2001
Samwell Tarly has the horn down in Oldtown. This has led to all sorts of theorizing about whether it's the true Horn of Joramun and what its impact will be if it's blown.
Sansa and Sandor
[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey's sword.]
GRRM: The Lion's Paw / Lion's Tooth business, on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom... but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it's a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on. - SSM, 6/26/2001
[Will Sandor and Sansa meet?]
GRRM: Why, the Hound is dead, and Sansa may be dead as well. There's only Alayne Stone. - SSM, 4/20/2008
GRRM indicates that Sansa's faulty memory of Sandor Clegane's unkiss will play a role down the road. It also reads that they'll meet again someday.
Shae in Tywin's Bed
[GRRM is asked about Shae being in Tywin's bed.]
GRRM: I won't comment on the Tyrion / Tywin issue. Perhaps future volumes will throw more light on it. - SSM, 6/26/2001
In 2014, GRRM re-emphasized that that Shae in Tywin's bed will have a future revelations.
The Second Dance of the Dragons
I'm a bit concerned about Dany's skills as a commander. To succeed with the invasion of Westeros, I believe she will need a lot of sound military advice (both tactically and strategically). What's your thoughts on this issue?
GRRM: She will need counsel, yes... she will also need to learn to tell the good counsel from the bad, which is perhaps the hardest task of all. - SSM, 6/26/2001
I was talking with george and the dude from FFG [Fantasy Flight Games] who does the card game, and George asked the FFG guy how he was going to balance the power of the families (Stark, Lannister, Greyjoy, etc) once the dragons are full grown. He said something like "once dany lands in westeros with full grown dragons, they are gonna kickass all over the place" (paraphrasing - it was something more like "they will be tougher than anything we've seen since Aegon the Conqueror.") - SSM, 8/28/2003
Hi, short question. Will we find out more about the Dance of the Dragons in future books?
GRRM: The first dance or the second? The second will be the subject of a book. The first will be mentioned from time to time, I'm sure. - SSM, 11/22/2003
The second Dance of Dragons does not have to mean Dany's invasion. - SSM, 7/23/2006
NG: Three more volumes of A Song of Ice and Fire wait to be written. What shape do you expect them to take, and are their titles finalized as yet?
GRRM: Yes, three more volumes remain. The series could almost be considered as two linked trilogies, although I tend to think of it more as one long story. The next book, A Dance With Dragons, will focus on the return of Daenerys Targaryen to Westeros, and the conflicts that creates. After that comes The Winds of Winter. I have been calling the final volume A Time For Wolves, but I am not happy with that title and will probably change it if I can come up with one that I like better. - GRRM Interview, December 2000
Dany's invasion of Westeros hasn't yet been featured (despite Martin's desires to have it in ADWD as far back as 2000), but it looks to feature heavily come TWOW and/or ADOS.
The Sword Blackfyre
And if yes, what was it named and what happened to it - Rhaegar had it on the Trident, maybe?
GRRM: The most famous of them was named Blackfyre. It was long lost by Rhaegar's day, however.
Or, if you can't tell right now, will we find out about it in a later book?
GRRM: Yes. - SSM, 6/19/2001
We'll find out the fate of the sword Blackfyre in future books. In an early version of ADWD, Tyrion III, a "sword" is mentioned as one of the things that's being given to Rolly Duckfield and Haldon Halfmaester, leading to speculation that the sword is Blackfyre. This was later rewritten. I think that the sword Blackfyre will come up with Aegon's invasion of Westeros, but we'll see!
Arya's Fate
In Arya's first chapter, before she knows about Needle, Jon admonishes her to run back to Septa Mordane if she does not want to sew through winter: "When the spring thaw comes, they will find your body with a needle still locked tight between your frozen fingers." Is this foreshadowing? I really like Arya despite her dark path, and am now terrified at the prospect of her being turned into a wight, potentially the first Faceless wight at that! Aaargh!!
GRRM: Again, no comment. Foreshadowing is another area where you're on your own. - SSM, 11/4/2001
As far back as 2001, fans were speculating on whether the line about finding Arya in the snow with a needle still clutched in her hand was foreshadowing.
Gendry and Reworking Valyrian Steel
Did Tohbo Mott ever teach Gendry the secrets of reworking Valyrian steel? - SSM, 1/1/2002
GRRM: Interesting question.
I'd be interested whether Gendry knows about reworking Valyrian steel and what impacts this will have on the plot.
Is Daenerys barren?
Was Mirri Maz Duur telling the truth when she told Daenerys Targaryen that the latter could never have children again?
GRRM: I am sure Dany would like to know. Prophecy can be a tricky business. - SSM, 2/28/2002
It's been widely speculated that Dany has a miscarriage on the Dothraki Sea in her final chapter, but I wonder whether Dany's fertility will have an impact down the road.
Peace at the end of ASOIAF
Is it possible that we may see a few scenes of peace at the end of the series? Some of my favorite scenes are just the relatively peaceful parts at the beginning of AGOT.
GRRM: Yes, it is possible. - SSM, 6/10/2002
Wouldn't that be nice?
Littlefinger's Fate
Are you going to let Littlefinger survive the series? I really hope so, because you should see the number of arguments that he causes at our message boards. He is one of your best characters, and I for one hope he lives.
GRRM: That's not something I am like to answer in a letter. Keep reading. - SSM, 4/1/2003
Littlefinger dies in S07 of Game of Thrones which could indicate a future for Baelish. That being said, we'll have to see what the books bring.
Are the Others evil?
Are the Others just pure evil, or are we going to find out more about their motives later on?
GRRM: Keep reading. - SSM, 4/1/2003
Another interesting thing from the con, at one point in a panel GRRM was commenting that he didn't like how in a lot of fantasy stories various races are all defined by a single personality (i.e. all orcs are evil, all elves are wise, etc), whereas it would be more realistic for various individuals within a race to have different personalities, viewpoints, etc. Some quick-witted audience member asked him how that idea applied to the Others in his own books, to which he replied, "I'm not gonna answer that." - SSM, 8/3/2007
There's been a lot of speculation on this. Feel free to continue speculating!
Red Herrings
GRRM himself stated this is an advantage of this book. That we will get some hints of what is going on in the North and East but we wouldn't know what is true and what not. We may learn that Stannis is killed for example but that could easily be a red herring. - SSM, 5/27/2005
Okay, guys, this is pretty fucking exciting for me! Back in 2005, GRRM was hinting that "we may learn that Stannis is dead", but this is a red herring. Wouldn't you know it, but in the Theon sample chapter from TWOW, Stannis says, "You may hear that I'm dead. It may even be true"! Goodness.
Samwell and Randyll
At the end, she asked if Sam would ever have some sort of revenge on his cruel father, Lord Randyll.
GRRM: He said to read and find out. - SSM, 8/4/2005
I suppose we'll have to see if Samwell and Randyll run into each other and what the fallout of that may be.
Willas Tyrell
Will we see Willas Tyrell?
GRRM: Yes. - SSM, 11/18/2005
I'd venture a guess that we'll see Willas Tyrell in Samwell's TWOW chapters.
Why the seasons are whack
Someone asked why the seasons are so messed up. Martin said he couldn't give an answer because that would be telling! He did say that there would eventually be an answer in one of the books, and the answer would be a fantasy (as opposed to a science fiction/science based) answer. - SSM, 11/11/2005
I'm sure part of the answer is that the seasons are messed up because of the Others, but I'll look forward to what more is in store.
Lady Stoneheart
Another question very specific about the characters. This one is actually from "Derek Marillon". Are we going to see much more of Lady Stark?
GRRM: You can see…much more? How much is much? You will see some more of her, yes. - SSM, 8/3/2007
George's appearance on Second Life was conducted in 2007. In ADWD, we don't see Stoneheart, but GRRM re-emphasized as recently as this past October that Stoneheart will play a major role in TWOW.
Arya and Nymeria
Will Arya get her wolf back? —E
GRRM: You’ll have to keep reading and find out! - Entertainment Weekly, 11/27/2007
Arya is warging Nymeria from Braavos in AFFC/ADWD, but it looks like this will be something to come out in later books.
Dragon GendeSex
[Are dragons male, female, hermaphroditic, or is there something magical involved in their reproduction?]
GRRM: Sexing dragons is difficult. More in future books. - SSM, 4/20/2008
I suppose we'll see dragon reproduction in TWOW/ADOS? Uh, can't wait(?)
Jaime and Cersei's Fate
[A reader asks about the future deaths of Jaime and Cersei.]
GRRM: Sorry, but while I'm glad to tackle questions, I'm not going reveal anything of importance that will happen in future books, and certainly not the ultimate fate of major characters. You'll just need to keep reading. - SSM, 4/20/2008
It's widely speculated that Jaime is the valonqar, but we'll see.
Dany and Jon Meeting
[Future meeting between Daenerys and Jon Snow?]
GRRM: Keep reading. - SSM, 4/20/2008
Jon and Dany meet in Game of Thrones, Season 7, and according to S07 director Alan Taylor, GRRM told him that:
"I can't say much more about what [Martin] said about where we're going with Dany and Jon because that leaps ahead into the next season," Taylor said. "But to me the revelation was that, at the time, we had a hundred characters and yet he knew it's about these two."
Pycelle's Loyalty to the Lannisters
[Why is Pycelle so loyal to the Lannisters?]
There´s backstory yet to be revealed, certainly, but if you asked Pycelle he would insist that he was acting in the best interests of the realm. - SSM, 7/27/2008
That's neat. I don't know how this revelation will happen given that Pycelle gets the Varys treatment in the ADWD Epilogue, but I'm curious to know what more is set to be revealed.
The Destruction of Great Houses in ASOIAF
[Isn't it odd that no Great House has been destroyed in the course of the wars and rebellions since the Conquest?]
GRRM: Well, the series isn't over. - SSM, 4/20/2008
Houses Arryn and Baratheon are on the ropes by the end of ADWD. It's likely we'll see some great houses go extinct by the end of the series.
Benjen and the Night's Watch
[Why did Benjen join the Night's Watch?]
GRRM: Good question. One day you will get an answer. But it will not be today. - SSM, 7/27/2008
There's a lot of speculation that Benjen joined the Night's Watch over his guilt from Lyanna, but we'll see how this will get itself revealed.
Sansa and the Bear and the Maiden Fair
[Is there any connection between Sansa's story and the song "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"?]
Well, we´ll have to see. - SSM, 7/27/2008
Religious Revival
Religion increasing as focus in series?
GRRM: The religious revival in Westeros will continue to grow in series. - SSM, 10/16/2010
Again, this convention appearance occurred in 2010. Certainly, we see R'hllorism growing in the North and Riverlands. And we see Cersei's walk of shame, but I believe that GRRM will explore this in more depth come TWOW.
Casterly Rock
Any pov characters in Casterly Rock?
GRRM: Yes, maybe in TWOW. - SSM, 7/12/2011
The potential here is that Jaime, Cersei, Tyrion and/or other POVs will make a stop at Casterly Rock at some point in the story.
Children of the Forest and the Others
Is there a closer relationship between the children of the forest and the Others than there might seem to be?
GRRM: Possibly, possibly. It's a topic that will be developing as the story continues, and so I can't say much more right now. - SSM, 7/28/2012
In Season 6 of Game of Thrones, we get a version of this with the CoTF creating the Others. However, will it be the same in ASOIAF?
Krakens in TWOW
There's a story in the books about a horn that can raise krakens from the deep. Will we ever see a kraken?
(Martin looks surprised by the question.) Possibly. - SSM, 7/28/2012
In Arianne's first TWOW POV chapter, it's reported that krakens are pulling down crippled galleys in the Stepstones. It's possible we'll see more of this come TWOW.
Arthur Dayne and Aerys II
Arthur Dayne has been presented as the quintessential chivalrous knight. How could he support the atrocities of Aerys, that even Jaime was horrified by?
GRRM: Well... keep reading. - SSM, 7/28/2012
This is a huge open question: how did chivalrous knights like Ser Arthur Dayne support Aerys? I am definitely interested in finding out more.
Is there any chance we'll see Valyria?
GRRM: Well.... there may be. Not a great chance, mind you. The question is, is it going to be a look at Valyria now, or Valyria in the past? - SSM, 7/28/2012
Possibilities are limitless: will Bran see Valyria? Will Daenerys have visions of it? Will others witness it?
Gendry and Arya/Arya's first period
My friend asked him about Gendry and Arya meeting back up and when will Arya get her moonblood to which GRRM answered “soon”… and GRRM had an interesting response to Arya and Gendry meeting back up. I will let her tell you the answer. But I do know he said of Arya and Gendry that, “I’ll visit them again.” - SSM, 5/29/2016
Gendry and Arya meeting back up is an exciting prospect. And Arya now is 12 years old and will likely be getting her first period soon.
Dorne in TWOW
"Don't think what happens in the show will happen in the books, the show is completely different. The books will be nothing like that." - SSM, 5/29/2016
Fairly self-explanatory. Arianne's journeys early in TWOW already give us a different perspective on events that are transpiring in the Dornish plot.
Bloodraven in TWOW
And then when George was at my table a little later, he told me that he was working on more stories that included Bloodraven in them. I was first excited for the possibility of She-wolves of Winterfell in the D&E stories, but then I was like duh, it's probably Winds - SSM, 5/29/2016
Yeah, Bloodraven will be a central feature in Bran's TWOW chapters.
Jon and Val
"Jon and Val, huh? That would make a good fit." - SSM, 5/29/2016
Jon and Val pairing off in TWOW? Let's make #JonValJon a thing, everyone.
the Big Twist. More tidbits:
Because I've run out of space, there's a bit more as zionius_ has it in his great comment!


Because this got so long, I'll have an additional comment with Dunk and Egg stuff in it. Thanks everyone for reading! Additionally, there's a great little resource that HollowayDivision did which allows you to search for any topic you'd like to from the So Spake Martin archive. Check out the So Spake Martin Search Engine!
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2017.12.09 21:14 JPL68 On a whim, I admitted to being a lizard person in my self-summary. Is this unwise?

Is this considered more of a fourth date revelation?
"Getting awkward admissions out the way: I'm a lizard person. You know those lizards who rule the world by donning human skins, whose scaly skin sometimes shows in TV glitches? Like Barack Obama and Mark Wahlberg (aka Marky Mark, aka Slithertongue)? I'm with them. Please don't hold it against me; it's this generation's last acceptable dating prejudice, but don't get me started on that.
What are my traits, relative to other lizard people? E/INTJ, and, say my friends, "good-hearted, chatty, jokey, intense, intellectual, high energy, proactive, romantic, thoughtful, and playful."
And what of my gestation? I was hatched and raised in Oxford, then studied philosophy there and at Cambridge, then worked for several charities and campaigns, then migrated to Canada back in 2014 to found a non-profit which promotes "effective altruism" - helping others in the most effective ways, found through reason and evidence. I'm switching back to web development in 2018, so I can pass that off as infiltrating the elites to the other LPs. Vancouver's my forever lair; I fell in love with the city."
submitted by JPL68 to OkCupid [link] [comments]

2017.09.29 14:20 blueylol1 7 years together - finished in the space of 1 conversation...

Hi everyone - I need some advice
7 years ago when I was young and foolish and a typical teenage girl. We meet when we were very young and at the point where we met I had never had a relationship, or done anything intimate with anyone... so I was obsessed and infatuated with this man... our relationship naturally progressed and I went to university and we decided that we were going to make a go of things... it was working really well, he came to see me and I went home quite a lot and things were going good. Naturally we had our ups and downs but nothing was so bad that we couldn’t overcome it. I competed university and moved back home, at which point he moved into my family Home (uninvited) and never moved back out... we both made careers for ourselves and began to love life, and began to love life with each other after three years of not seeing each other much. When he moved in with me, things became quite intense and before we knew it we were suffocating each other without realising it. We realised how different we are as people and decided that we liked that about each other - I am very outgoing and he is a social freak with very minimal friends. I wanted to travel and see the world, he wanted to go to bog standard places and just stay in luxury. I made all of the compromises and I was happy to do this as I felt making him happy made me happier than anything else. And as you do, you argue, you kiss and make up. He’s never been able to stay angry at me and I haven’t been able to stay mad at him, I felt completely attached to him and have never known life without him. I’ve never experienced single life, or dated anyone else, this hadn’t bothered me as I knew I wanted my future with him and it was like a perfect cringe love story which I thought he wanted too. And as you do, we began speaking about our future, and then we go to Mexico after I make him branch out and go out of Europe... and he does it... he proposed, he said the 4 words that I had been waiting 5 years to hear... I said yes!!! It was to date one of the happiest moments of my life, I can’t explain it, he got down on one knee, brought me a ring he thought I would love and he showed me the next level of commitment that I needed to hear and he wanted to give me. We were happily engaged, we loved being engaged to each other, but we were at the point where we needed to live on our own. Be on our own, and grow on our own... so we saved hard for a property... now we’re searching for properties and daily he tells me how excited he is to be our own family... I begin to freak a bit and try and slow things down... we walked into a flat, and fell in love with it, we could see ourselves being a family in this flat... we put in an offer and it’s accepted, the property proceedings are in full swing.... we exchanged on the property and it’s like all go! It’s happening, we book our wedding, it’s happening. And then bang, it happened, it all came down on me like a sack of shit... He comes home after having dinner at his parents and he’s being weird, we’re in bed and he’s not being affectionate or chatty, I knew something was up... and it was. After prodding and screaming I got it out of him, he said those words that no woman wants to hear... “I need space” he’s tearing up, I’m crying and begging for him not to go... it’s a disaster and I can see my world collapsing right in front of me. He packs a few bits and goes back to his parents, I call him in the car on his way home and continued to beg him not to go. He still went. I thought that it would pass over, day 2 comes, he’s refusing to talk to me, day 3... we have a conversation, he said the next thing that no woman wants to hear, “I don’t think I love you the same anymore”. I refuse to believe it ! I still don’t believe it.... I’m still begging for him to give us a chance, I’m screaming all the things I want him to hear but all he can hear is desperation.... and then I turned crazy, I began stalking his phone last seen on what’s app, I check his call history on the iPad, his google web history on the iPad, I saved numbers of people he was calling... and called these on withheld. And then it clicked, he is speaking to a female who we argued about, a female who i felt insecure about, a female who I never wanted him to speak to because she made me jealous and brought ugly traits out in me. I then made myself feel like he needed someone to talk too, he doesn’t have many friends and they work together and it could happen. He calls me the next day as he agreed and told me again, I don’t think I love you anymore, I need to spend the day collecting my thoughts. All I heard was I’m still being stubborn and you’re being an arse. And it hit me, we have a shared location app through find my phone... he spent the day Brighton. When confronted about this he said they’re just friends and I do believe him however it’s hurtful that he chose to spend the day with someone else and not me. I feel like I’m not ready to let him go, is he lying to himself or is he truly done with us?
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2017.05.07 19:47 dietotaku waiting on the good times

you know that bob ross meme where he talks about light and dark and how he's "waiting on the good times now"? yeah, that's been me lately. i know on the 15th i'll have my awesome new glasses, and the results of kiddo's magnet school testing (to see which ones she gets into), i REALLY REALLY REALLY want her to get into the academy for excellence but you have to be in the 90th %ile and i just am trying not to get my hopes up too high. i'd be happy if she qualifies for any of them.
in the meantime i've spent the last couple of days getting yelled at by shitfuck trump trolls and my phone company locking me out of the website because i was 12 hours late paying my bill. which meant i had to call their 800 number, which not only had an infuriating robo-menu*, when it asked for my PIN and i realized i couldn't remember it (because they want 8 digits instead of 4 or 6, WHO THE FUCK SETS AN 8-DIGIT PIN), there was no "okay back up and use the option that doesn't require my PIN" option. i had to hang up on the thing and call it back, and then it charged me a $2 fee for not using the fucking website i was fucking locked out of!!!
*you know those chatty cathy menus that are like "hello, and welcome to carter communications! we're so glad you chose us for your servicing needs! did you know that we now have a twitter account? it's true! you can stay up-to-date on carter communications events and offers by following us at @cartercommunications on twitter.com! let's get started. please allow me to read the entire menu, as our options have changed, and i won't recognize your command until i'm done speaking anyway. i'm showing that your account is 14.3 minutes past due. please do not wait until past your due date to make payments, as this will result in a suspension of your service, which will greatly inhibit the tools available to assist you in paying your bill. if you would like to pay your bill now, say 'pay bill.' if you would like to transfer your bill to another account, say 'transfer bill.' if you would like to sign up for auto pay, say 'auto pay.' if you would like to cancel your account, say 'cancel account.' if you would like me to read you your current plan and available plan options, say 'plan options.' if you would like to speak to a customer service representative, please visit us on the web at www.cartercommunicationsinc.com/account/customerservice. if you would like me to repeat this menu, say 'repeat menu.' now, how can i help you?"
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2017.04.05 06:20 JeffBurnsArt Do We Ever Really Know What We Want In A Date?

Tantalizing picture after picture of attractive forms and faces all smiling at me, inviting me; it’s like a virtual candy shop, and I’m a kid with a pocket full of money I just stole from my mother’s purse. All I have to do is make my selection and reap the rewards. Then I awake from my daydream to find that I’m sitting across the table from a woman who has done nothing but talk about herself nonstop for the past 30 minutes. I think maybe the reason she’s so chatty is that she’s nervous. Of course, she doesn’t want me to know she’s nervous, so she does a lot of talking to come off as confident and in control. Maybe she really wants things to go well and figures that keeping the dialog moving will somehow compensate for a clear lack of chemistry.
But what do I know. I'm not exactly doing my part to make this date any better than it is. Is it our job to make a date good? I don’t think so, yet I still end up feeling guilty when I don’t put forth the effort to turn on the charm. This date is clearly not what I was hoping for. Honestly, I kind of threw in the towel once I saw her. This lady doesn’t look the same as her online profile pictures. I’m finding that if I tell myself a woman is not going to look as good as the photos on her profile, I won’t be so disappointed when I see her in person. But some people flat out lie with the type of photos they choose to represent themselves online. Her photo has to be at least five years old. And in the picture, she’s all smiles—but the woman that showed up tonight hasn’t flashed her teeth yet.
I was expecting cheery and fun, but instead I got a dry lecture on a family feud over who gets the house she grew up in. What a gyp! Well, at least she actually turned out to be a woman this time. She’s no cover-girl model, but she could be appealing if she tried. I’m not even talking about a lower cut dress. A positive attitude and genuine smile can work wonders. And to think, I was so excited to meet this girl just a few short moments ago.
It’s funny how we build up the anticipation in our heads for a date. Now I’m fighting the urge to blink like Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeannie to see if I can either make myself disappear or make her invisible, so I can catch the highlights from ESPN on the television behind her. My eyes and attention are wavering back and forth from her to the TV. She’s so engrossed in her story, she doesn’t even notice. Don’t ever take a first date to a restaurant with TVs. In fact, don’t go to a restaurant on a first date at all.
Just then, she asks, “Are you OK?”
I can’t believe I actually tried the genie blink.
Am I being too picky? I mean, you should at least be attracted to the person you go out with, right? But is attraction all you need to qualify a person for access into your world? Sometimes I just don’t know. This is why I try to be open-minded and not base whom I talk to solely on appearance. But then it somehow ends up feeling like I’m settling out of fear of being the only person on the planet who’s alone.
To settle or not to settle–this question can be quite unsettling.
Well let’s think about this for a moment. Is settling all that bad? What have I been missing out on because of my list of requirements? My problem with compromising is that it’s never for the right reasons. Think about it, when was the last time you settled for an average looking person because they had good moral fiber? Often times it’s more like settling for the person whose single status is in question just because they are smoking hot and give you the time of day. Or you may settle for the one who meets every mark on your list but fails to give you that spark. It’s like knowing broccoli is good for you but when given the option taking the slice of pepperoni pizza instead.
It seems it’s human nature to want what we don’t need and shun what’s best for us. And sometimes you think you know what you want, but when you get it, the desire for it seems to fade away. What is that all about? I know darn well what that is for men. It’s the hunter vs. prey mindset. Like anticipating the date, the hunter imagines how good it will feel to have the prize. That feeling can give you a high greater than the actual possession. Then when you have the prize, you are compelled to look to the next goal. Do you ever feel a little bit let down when you get what you wanted? I hunger and thirst for a committed relationship (or at least I think I do), but am I ready for the sacrifice? Is this appetite all in my head—the result of years of anticipation building and building?
I once heard a suggestion for those looking to enter a relationship to start by caring for a houseplant. Get it to grow and flourish, then move on to a pet of some kind, perhaps a fish for starters. But just because you haven’t killed Fluffy doesn’t mean that a relationship with someone who can talk back will be a piece of cake. Is it no wonder that we start to shy away from relationships when it sinks in that the avatar we’ve been chatting with online is connected to a real person with desires, fears, and agendas? The bells, whistles, and pretty, flashing lights of the World Wide Web often blind us from the fact that relationships and dating involve the same old practices whether you meet online or offline.
submitted by JeffBurnsArt to dating [link] [comments]

2017.03.02 02:20 wrappedintheblanket Relationship with someone who is depressed and suffers from anxiety/panic attacks leaves me very low sometimes. I have mental problems myself- and don't know how to lead us to happiness while staying inc this relationship...

Very late good evening guys,
First of all I’m not sure if this is the best thread to post in, but it’s related to depression and mental health so I thought I’d give it a shot. I’ve been on Reddit for a while but this is separate account for privacy reasons.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now. I’m 31 female and he’s 28 years old. When we’ve met, he fairly quickly revealed some issues he’s been experiencing for at least last 10 years- anxiety, serious panic attacks, feeling depressed. He went through CBT some time ago and doesn’t seem to want to go through therapy now; what is more and what I find weird is that his family seems to just accept the way he lives his life - living with his mother, freelancing from home - which means not having money most of the time, a lot of time spent inefficiently on doing house chores, cooking, helping his mother with those, sometimes when I stay at his he plays some games for over an hour in a middle of a day, gets distracted- browses web a lot, etc. It is not wrong, but seeing him wasting his life is upsetting as I know he wants to live it differently and isn't happy currently. He seems to have bad mood spells when he’s visibly lower and seems to have no energy inside to even do simple thing like going for a short walk to a nearby park. I’ve had some problems myself- feeling very low and lacking any motivation at the times, laying in bed all day, struggling to go forward with my career and finishing uni, I’ve even decided to start seeing counsellor lately, so I accepted him as he was and thought that I could deal with it as I understand a lot of it. We are so similar in some things. On a side note- I came out of almost 9 year relationship over a year ago, his longest one out of 2 or 3 was 4 months long- I cohabited with my ex for over 7 years, he never lived outside his family home minus boarding school as a teen and couple of months of uni which is a big divide in a way we were shaped as adults and the way we see things.
I’ve learned to accept that he struggles to travel outside of his comfort zone- which is his side of the city (I live on the other end so I go and stay at his place every week). He was stressed/ looked uncomfortable when staying in my flat at the first months of our dating. He prefers to drive and hates public transport especially tube, although even when driving he gets panicky sometimes. I’ve learned to accept that he doesn’t even like to walk to very nearby (3-4 mins walk) store and drives there instead. I’ve tried to gently suggest walking sometimes, as a way of working on it (no pressure if he doesn’t feel like it of course- but with my problems I find that facing it helps to boost your confidence and eventually makes you feel better). Now, so you fully understand- he does come out of the house. He goes out mainly in the evenings, lives a social life seeing friends and acquaintances every weekend and during the week too (more then I do, actually). Helps himself with drinking (to fight anxiety and being stressed about being out) when he meets friends. He also went on short holidays last year- driving with friends to a different country so he is capable of doing so and he can go out of that comfort zone.
But here are some things- which I don’t fully understand and I can’t figure out if it’s because of anxiety/ depression, or because of his personality or lack of relationship experience. First of all, I like travelling- including spontaneous (or planned) short trips to nearby places, weekend road trips kind of thing. We’ve been dating quite heavily (spent Xmas together with his family, etc) for a year and we’re grown ups so I thought ’d suggest going on one together. But no. He doesn’t seem to be excited. He didn’t even discuss it and kind of cut off the subject, saying he wasn’t feeling well recently. Ok then I didn't insist- but we could plan one for the future? He says he wants to go on hols together in the summer to the warmer place- but surely it’s more stressful then a short trip an hour drive away or locally, to the deer park- and I don’t get why he wouldn’t want to even think about it. I could bring it up again but I know he’ll go kind of spiky emotionally, and the simple discussion will get charged with emotions that wouldn’t come up in ‘normal’ situation, I’ll be feeling knots in my stomach and maybe will sob a little because I feel pressure, and all the pleasure and excitement of the subject will be taken out of it.
I recently suggested moving in together one day - we live in expensive city - I share shitty flat and he lives with his mom, so it makes sense- also I feel at this age and point in life it’s absolutely normal- he just said he wouldn’t speed things up unnecessarily, which I agreed with. That was all the conversation. Under one minute. He seems to be cutting short a lot of important conversations I’m trying to have- even when I’m doing it quite casually-even though it’s like not talking about an elephant in the room that we both see and trying to pretend we’re having a grand time ( imagine ‘it’s fine’ meme and a dog in a room in fire). I don’t know how to explain it without making this post very long. Maybe he is just an introvert with depression and lack of relationship experience (he has a lot of close female friends so it’s not shyness). I’m familiar with the term ‘gas-lighting’ as my parents are narcissists and did some stuff to me, and even though I really care for the bf and feel in love, I feel like he’s maybe doing something weird to me- but I can’t really put my finger on it, or tell if it is his problems that make him act this way or if that’s just the way he is.
It’s like one minute we’re having a good time, talking, smiling, cuddling, doing things together, I feel connected- but the next hour it changes- for example the evening comes, he becomes kind of cold and he’s still there physically but not with me anymore and somewhere deep in himself- he’ll give me a cuddle which feels robotic and not ‘real’, then turn around and go to sleep, when some other nights he’ll be chatty and telling me life-stories, warm cuddles etc. (Btw it’s not related to sex-life which is all good). I’m scared and concerned- should I keep going deeper, or not. My emotions are confused and so am I- the fact that I’m dealing with personal problems doesn’t help. But a lot of times I feel like crying after we interact. I feel on the edge; I’m enjoying being with him and then pow comes his iciness out of nowhere, or something he says, that makes me feel unwanted or pushed away slightly as if I've gotten too close,it sometimes like receiving subtle mental invisible backhand slap. But maybe I’m exaggerating, I feel so confused because it sounds ridiculous when I express it in writing or say it out loud. (I don't really do that).
Every week he keeps making plans and tells me- kind of just informs me last minute- that I can come over this day, and do this or that with him. We do talk every day when not seeing each other, but somehow I still feel like he puts walls up sometimes and excludes me from his life/ affairs / emotions. And decides when we do things. I’m easy going and have spare time so a lot of time I can do those days, but it feels like he controls it. I was the first to say ‘I love you’. His came couple of months later, the day after I cried and had a deep conversation and it looked to him like I wanted to break up (I didn’t want to). He got scared he’d lose me and said it. He told me in his 28 year old life he never told anyone he loved them…which I don’t know if is a good or bad sign. I know he feels very self-conscious, lacks some self-esteem and is worried a lot. Anxiety and low moods don’t help. I feel like I’m taming a wild animal, who gets more trusting slowly, and I’m trying to show I mean no harm and I care, but it kind of feels like I’m getting scratched and bruised in the process. He knows my phone passcode and has a finger imprint on it- and I know he's been checking it sometimes. On the other hand, he half-jokingly refused to tell me his, and I didn't want to insist but it bothers me- feels controlling although I'm very focused on this relationship and committed.
My question is- does anyone here has an experience with relationships with people in such situation? Am I overly sensitive, should I be more patient and keep working on it? I’m trying to do my best to understand his mental condition and to not just copy my last relationship but to built a new one and new life. He means a lot to me, and honestly when we met I thought he’d be my future husband. I don’t want to give up something important because of an illness…But don’t want to give up my inner peace if there’s something darker to it, and I’m scared of potential emotional abuse- my childhood and teenage years were unhappy times, and as a grown up I started feeling free of bad relations, and I value deeply sense of being free of toxic influences. I need an advice…any comments will mean a lot. Thanks.
submitted by wrappedintheblanket to depression [link] [comments]

2016.09.04 16:22 ManicGypsy Recruiting Guilds - September 2016

Here are the guilds that are currently recruiting:
Edit: At the request of some players, I am going through the guild list and trying to list requirements for joining guilds, as are stated on their sites. This should help people in choosing a guild. I would hope that every guild on this list has a "no exploit rule" but I am listing the ones that specifically say it on their recruiting message. Guild leaders - if I make a mistake, please feel free to correct me!
PC Reddit Guilds
XBOX Reddit Guilds
PS4 Reddit Guilds
What is this thread?
submitted by ManicGypsy to Neverwinter [link] [comments]

2016.07.01 15:44 ManicGypsy Recruiting Guilds - July 2016

Here are the guilds that are currently recruiting:
Edit: At the request of some players, I am going through the guild list and trying to list requirements for joining guilds, as are stated on their sites. This should help people in choosing a guild. I would hope that every guild on this list has a "no exploit rule" but I am listing the ones that specifically say it on their recruiting message. Guild leaders - if I make a mistake, please feel free to correct me!
PC Reddit Guilds:
XBOX Reddit Guilds:
PS4 Reddit Guilds
What is this thread?
submitted by ManicGypsy to Neverwinter [link] [comments]

2016.06.02 03:08 ManicGypsy Recruiting Guilds - June 2016

Edit: Locking this thread to create July's thread.
Here are the guilds that are currently recruiting:
Edit: At the request of some players, I am going through the guild list and trying to list requirements for joining guilds, as are stated on their sites. This should help people in choosing a guild. I would hope that every guild on this list has a "no exploit rule" but I am listing the ones that specifically say it on their recruiting message. Guild leaders - if I make a mistake, please feel free to correct me!
PC Reddit Guilds:
XBOX Reddit Guilds:
What is this thread?
submitted by ManicGypsy to Neverwinter [link] [comments]

2016.04.30 02:16 throwawaykimi My boyfriend doesn't want me to have friends, we've "broken up" 3 times now, I think I love him but its hard to get past my depression when he's constantly needing my affection.

So I've been dating this guy online for about 3 years now, we Skype a lot, text a lot and things used to be fun but the past year or so has been exhausting. Prior to dating him I had a lot of people to talk to, a lot of friends to hang out and play games with, people that made me happy. But every time I'm with my friends I get accused of just wanting attention from everyone, I get accused of cheating whenever I laugh or get chatty with my friends when he's around and now I have no one but him because he drove everyone off. He constantly makes me feel like ive done something wrong or that i'm stupid. He's broken up with me 3 times now but every time he does he calls me crying saying how i'm his everything, about how he feels suicidal without me. Of course I give in every time, I don't want him to be alone! He has no friends, i'm the only one outside of his family that cares for him according to him. There's just SO MUCH PRESSURE. I have a lot on my plate outside of this and I feel very alone despite being in a relationship. Sure things are fine when we are alone and just talking about our day/videos we find on the web but outside of that things just feel empty. I don't even want to play games anymore everything FEELS EMPTY
submitted by throwawaykimi to depression [link] [comments]